[WallyLlama]

Do you mind if I chuckle at your experience... I realize it was stressful, but you might be surprised at how often a conversation takes place that is much like the one you describe.

It's often (all generalities are false) the fundamental difference between men and women.

The big caution in every relationship is to be careful about "what you do and who you are." While it's certainly fair to expect to be accepted (and accept the other), relationships require adapting and negotiating.

I tend to be like you. One thing I've learned is that your girlfriend is right. Analyzing what's going on during sex is a turn off.

My suggestion is to "debrief" after, not during. That can be exciting... and sometimes result in another go. LOL

Further... be observant and sensitive. Make sure your desire for "feedback" is not really about your own insecurity or need. If she looks happy, believe that she is - don't make her tell you.

Nine months is not long for a relationship... you both have much to discover and learn about each other and that can be exciting and positive. I think you also need to consider that your commitment to remain virgins means neither of you can totally let go, so to speak. Again, that's not a bad thing, just recognize that sexual perfection is something you will constantly seek.

Lastly, congratulations on surviving a relationship milestone. The conversation you describe is huge - you are both going to be dealing with the issue in almost all your decisions. Sometimes you have talk about how you will make the decision, remembering that feelings are just as valid as logic and analysis.

SHE: I wanna go to Alaska for vacation... it's so pretty... crisp and clean.

HE: Yeah, but we can get this package deal for Florida... $799 all inclusive. Plus we can get there quicker.

Consider how difficult it will be for those two people to agree.