Hmmmm....let me get this right:
1) You went to a swing club in hopes of finding a female 3rd. So, i'm assuming that you two talked about it and agreed on some sort of extramarital sex. I'm also a bit surprised you were surprised that there were a number of single men hoping to get laid at a swing club......but..we'll talk about that in a minute...
2) You have had 3ways with a 3rd male, so you have seen her with another guy.
3) You both drank too much? Hmm....i'm assuming that you made a determination early on that there were not alot of single gals looking for a MFF 3way? So, why did u stick around? If you did stick around, and u WERE drinking alot, then it's pretty easy to understand why she/you had lost alot of your inhibitions as the number of drinks increased.
4) I'm a bit confused when you say
Quote:
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Originally Posted by [b
Quote[/b] ]finally she had sex with eight men but she never wanted that to happen
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. I have been to many swing clubs, and one of the CARDINAL RULES of Swinging is and has been - NO MEANS NO. So, if she was drunk, and started letting guys f*** her, and neither you or her said "STOP" i'm a bit dubious of you saying she dind't want to have sex with 8 men.!
5) Now she wants a gang bang with many black men? Well, sounds like you have already talked about her fantasies of being with a black man, and now, after being fucked by 8 men, which you say she never wanted, she NOW wants 8 black men to f*** her while u watch?
Sorry buddy, but it sounds a bit like you have been so focused on having YOUR fantasies fulfilled, that you weren't reading the signs - or worse yet, listening/communicating with your wife - of HER fantasies.
As others have said, becareful what you wish for. Once you open the door of swinging and extramarital sex, you have to be responsible for managing that part of your marriage.
That means TALK, LISTEN, HEAR, COMPROMISE, and of course, BE SAFE.
Oh, did your wife make the guys use condoms or did they f*** her unprotected?
As far as her fantasy goes, guess what, you're kinda stuck. You 2 have obviously talked about swinging and so you can't really take some things off the table when you dont' like what they are!
From what you've said, being with black men is a huge fantasy of hers. Now, from my experience, you have to manage that fantasy. You need to be involved in setting it up, screening the guys, setting up teh situation, etc. Now, i would STRONGLY urge you to talk to her about the reality of fnding guys like that, and the risks. But, if she really wants it, you need to be supportive - and just make it safe.
Oh, and if you use the "If you get to gangbang 8 black guys then i get to......................" you're in deep shit! This is not a "quid pro quo" thing. This is about you both exploring your sexual fantasies. You need to do it as a couple and make sure that you're both doing it because you deeply love and trust each other. That fulfilling fantasies is a part of your marriage FROM TIME TO TIME! Remember, anything done to excess will lead to problems. So you both should agree upon rules of engagement.
Manage it.....u can't forbid it! Make sure you really screen the guys....meet them all first in a public place to make sure you can trust them, and also ask that they ALL use protection.