|
ok well ill first proceed with a lil introduction. i'm 16, and i have been with my boyfriend (17) for 7 months. he has been ready to have sex for several months now and i never understood why, but i never felt the same. even tho we have a very trusting and stable relationship, and he is the only person i feel comfortable with, and i know that we both love each other very much, and we're both mature enough to handle the responsibilities, etc etc and all that good stuff, i never felt ready for sex. i even took checklist after checklist and they all said i was ready.
my excuses for not wanting sex was that i felt too young and therefore felt "slutty," it is worth better when u wait longer than just a few months, we had not been going out for a year (don't ask me why this is so important to me), and i was afraid the first tiem wouldn't be perfect. things that TRUELY matter, such as unwanted pregnancy and trusting your partner, i had no problems with. it were the little things that made me hesitant. and besides these excuses there was just the fear of the unknown, that something bad would happen and i would regret having sex.
but today i took a quiz called "are you ready for sex" and i have no idea why this one stood out from the others, but all of the ?'s applied to me. and i had the mother of all epiphanies...i am ready for sex. there is no reason for me not to have it. i agree that it's important to maybe savor the relationship and wait longer, and to be in the relationship for maybe a year or more, before having sex. but it hit me that if i am absolutely POSITIVE that i'm going to lose my virginity to this guy and there's no doubt in my mind, what the hell is the point of waiting? so i can say i was 110% sure instead of 100%? it just doesn't apply to me. feeling slutty is even more ludacris. the only reason i should feel that way is if i were sleeping around or, at the extreme, having sex when i really didn't love the person. the perfection thing i've been obsessed with for quite some time. i want my first time to be a bed of roses and a candlelit room with barry white playing in the background. but then something else also hit me...WHO CARES? i mean of course i do want some romance for my first time, but i don't live in a movie all that really matters is who it is with, not what it looks like.
so in conclusion, today i have basically made up my mind to have sex in the near future, probably within a couple of months. the only things stopping me are just the formalities, like how i'm going to see a gynocologist and get birth control pills, where we're gonna be able to have it (and keep having it), and loosening me up a bit so it doesn't really hurt. but actually FEELING ready has already been taken care of, and i didn't even work at it haha. BUT there is a point to this..i wanted to know what everyone else thinks and if i really am mature enough for sex. maybe give me a mini checklist of their own of the crucial factors of readiness? it would be much appreciated.
|