[thetease13]

well, i'm not sure what you're asking help for...but you're not weird by my terms.

i'm 23...female for that matter.
i lost my virginity at 22...a month shy of being 23 (turned 23 in january).
to this day (including my current relationship) i have still never had a boyfriend. *i do not consider who i'm with now to be my boyfriend. *if i have to classify him as anything (which I hate to do) he is a friend with benefits.
i have never been on a date (unless you include the "date" with psycho boy, but lets not go there).
i did not get a real kiss until feb of this year (yes, i did everything backwards). *i refuse to count a forced kiss a couple years ago as my first kiss and i do not count the random pecks i gave my guy last year as a real kiss.

was i a proud 22 year old virgin? *you bet. *i was a rare breed.
was i really that by choice? *not so much. *every year since i was like 19 or 20 i made this little thing where i said i was gonna lose my virginity before i turned the next age. *that obviously didn't happen.

i'm a nice girl. *lots of people consider me "cute". *i like to make people laugh, that's usually how i attract people. *i'm nobody but myself and people also find that attractive. *so really, all in all, i don't have much of a problem attracting people. *the problem however is that the people i attract are pretty much psychotic stalkery weirdos.

so, you tell me what my problem is with guys, and you'll answer your question as to why you can't really attract girls.

however, i don't think you should just go out and lose it for the hell of it. *i don't think you should wait for the "right girl" so to speak, *i think you should wait for someone you trust. *is my guy the "right guy"? *hell no...but he is someone i trust very dearly. *i trusted him back then and i trust him even more now.

part of my problem was i was looking for it all. *i was looking for someone constantly. *when i stopped looking, someone found me. *i at first took it all as joke. *we were both sitting there and i was just babbling about..something..possibly how i've never had a boyfriend. *i'm not really sure. *and he mentioned that he found me attractive. *i laughed it off and said whatever and he said he was serious, he found me very attractive. *that was a year ago yesterday..the 26th.

i, like you, was very shy around guys....and anytime they would compliment me, i did exactly what i did to him..shrug it off and laugh it off. *i was not used to the treatment. people, including my family, was never much of a "big supporter" of mine and compliments and support were not something that ever really came my way. he was the only one to pursue it and that's what changed it all for me.

so, i guess my advice to you, stop looking for it.
the more you look for it, the more you over analyze people (not that the people who liked me weren't psychotic stalkery weirdos but that's not the point) and the more you turn people away.
take a deep breath and step back for a while. *you never know what's gonna happen.

and thank you for reading my long novel. *lol.