Anal Intercourse
There are many ways to enjoy the anus erotically. Some people enjoy the sensation of a finger inserted into their anal opening and gently rotated. Others may find the insertion of a sex toy or penis very arousing and stimulating. This section contains all the essential guidelines for enjoying anal intercourse.
Getting Started
Some people are not very open to experimentation with this body part, as they are scared that it will cause great amounts of pain, or the whole thought of it is grosses them out. In any event, make sure to communicate with your partner to avoid bad reactions. If your partner refuses, don’t try to force them, it will be a horrible experience for them (and ultimately for you) if they are not comfortable with the idea.
If you are trying to convince your partner to explore this world, using something as large as a penis is definitely not the way to get started. You should start by getting them comfortable being touched in the area, then move up to using a finger or two, and then, when ready, finally moving up to intercourse. Please refer to the anal fingering to please women, or prostate stimulation to please men sections to learn more about anal play, plus using anal sex toys and analingus. Until your partner is ready to receive, their anxieties will cause their anal sphincter to tighten, and trying to push through will be extremely painful, so be patient!
Cleanliness is essential with virtually all forms of this type of play. A bath or a shower is a great primer, and can be the start of the festivities. Once your penis or sex toy has been inside the rectum, don't put them inside anywhere else until you have washed them. Carelessness in this regard can cause a very serious infection. Make sure to use copious amounts of a good lubricant, and start as slowly as possible the first few times.
The Largest Misconceptions of Anal Intercourse
Most people believe that anal intercourse hurts and that it is always an uncomfortable experience. This is quite simply false. As with any form of intercourse, the anus, like the vagina, must become used to the activity. Any woman who remembers her first time having sex probably recalls a painful experience. In fact, the first couple of times were probably painful and not that enjoyable. Did they stop having sex? In almost all cases, they didn’t. Anal intercourse falls under the same guidelines for both genders; it takes practice to get accustomed to the activity. Pain is usually a sign that something is being performed incorrectly, not that the act is wrong. In most cases pain is due to a few reasons: the receiver is too tense and tightening, the giver is pushing too hard, there isn’t enough lubricant, or that the penis or toy is still too big to put in (based on current experience levels). Using fingers and smaller toys is the best way to get used to the feeling, and it is advised that you increase size a little at a time. Once you have become comfortable with the idea and concepts you will probably find it very pleasurable.
The 5 Major Guidelines
Always use a lubricant. Unlike the vagina, the small amount of mucus a rectum produces is completely insufficient for anal intercourse. Therefore anal penetration should always be accompanied with an ample supply of lubricant. Water-based lubricants are latex-compatible and highly recommended.
Stop immediately if your partner asks you to stop. If your partner is too tense to experiment, all forms of anal penetration will cause a great deal of pain. We are not saying to stop trying completely, just don’t push yourself onto your partner, as this will only result in a bad experience for them, and make them less willing to try again.
Take it slow. When experimenting with anal sex for the first few times, go slow. There is no rush and if you take your time you will probably both enjoy the experience. There should not be a great deal of forcing required. If lubricated properly, an object should slide in somewhat easily. We recommend using your fingers ahead of time to loosen them up first for the first few times.
Sufficient desire alone does not guarantee pleasurable anal sex. Read the other four points.
Always communicate with your partner. As with any sexual activity, communication is essential. Talk about what you want to do, discuss beforehand your desires, tell your partner what you like and don't like while engaging in anal intercourse. Basically, be open about your preferences and feelings, and, be receptive to theirs.
Understanding the Anus and the Rectum
A minority of men and women respond with orgasms to anal sex without direct genital stimulation. Women probably do so through pelvic muscle contractions - and a small minority through the sheer excitement of being penetrated anally. For men, an orgasm may be experienced because of pressure applied to the prostate gland. They are no doubt responding to indirect stimulation of the penile bulb. Orgasms from anal stimulation are most likely to occur when the participants become thoroughly absorbed in their sensations and fantasies.
The main function of the rectum is to act as a passageway for feces, but feces are not normally stored in the rectum except just prior to a bowel movement. Small amounts may remain in the rectum. This is one of the reasons that it is recommended to use condoms during anal intercourse.
The rectum is not straight - see the sexual anatomy diagrams. After the short anal canal that connects the anal opening to the rectum, the rectum tilts toward the front of the body, sometimes as much as 90 degrees. Then, after a few more inches, it swoops towards the front of the body again. A person can learn about the shape of his or her rectum by gently inserting a soft object, trying different angles and body positions and concentrating on how it feels. Make sure the object has a flared base so that if you lose your grip, it won't slip into the rectum and become temporarily irretrievable.
If you insert a finger about one half-inch into your anus and press your fingertip against the side, you can clearly feel the two sphincter muscles. There is less than a quarter-inch between them. The external sphincter is controlled by the central nervous system (voluntary), which means you can tense and relax this sphincter whenever you want. The internal sphincter is quite different. This muscle is controlled by the autonomic nervous system (involuntary). The internal sphincter reflects and responds to fear and anxiety. It may cause the anus to tense up automatically even if the person is trying to relax.
There is the risk of sphincter tone (tightness) loss over time due to repeated dilation for insertive intercourse. Stool incontinence (poor control) can occur when anal sphincter tone decreases; this problem has to be surgically corrected if it becomes chronic. This is another very good reason to take things slowly and to never force anal intercourse! Everyone's body has different levels of ability to adapt; if anal intercourse remains painful (or even very uncomfortable) then it is probably best avoided - remember, there are still many other ways to stimulate and enjoy the anal area without full intercourse.
Though it is always wise to practice the safest sex possible, this is especially true with anal intercourse. The lining of the rectum is very thin, and can rip if there is too much stress put on it. By wearing condoms, you can greatly reduce your and your partner’s chances of transmitting most STDs.
it depends how much ur bleeding. it its showing up on tissue it will heal itself. if its dripping, its probably advisable to seek professional medical help. use plenty of lube next time to avoid this. lots of lube and super slow..... heavy emphasis on SLOW!!!
i like to have two dicks in me at the same time and even both in my ass what are the effects of have two at the same time?
Daniel: Some women like anal sex and others don't. I think that your girl is the type that does not like it much.
As I have mentioned many a times my hubby normally is the only one who I have anal sex with and then too a condom is mostly used. But as we went along he sometimes doesn't use one and ejaculates in me or over me. Of lately he did allow me to be penetrated by suitably chosen partners, but most don't use a condom and going into a frenzy when doing anal, they find it difficult to retract when ejaculating. The result is that I am inevitably filled with cum (I don't mind, it's great) and as it does not remain inside your rectum, it gradually leaks out. Maybe someone can advise me as to what are the consequences of having your a*s hole filled with cum? Is it ok? or should I discourage the practice?
Lizz
Spooning is the best position for anal. The first time my boyfriend and I tried it, it hurt so bad and he pulled out, but after that it was great. He said that using a condom hurt a little because it dried up the lube and it was too tight. I recommend having anal without a condom because his "pre-cum" will help lubricate! And it feels so awesome when he cums in my ass
If you enjoy your normal sex, then there is no substitution. If you want to experiment beyound the bounds, wait until the female menstruates and as an added bonus get yourself prepared for anal sex. Oral sex I term as a lovemaking adventure so this can be performed without much inconvenience.
Lizz
Ive tried anal sex with my girlfriend twice now. both times she said it hurt when i first slide it in (using plenty of lube in the doggy position) but after holding the tip in for around 15 seconds, pulling out then trying again she says its absolutely fine and pain free. she doesnt however enjoy it. she says its pain free but just makes her feel she needs to go to the loo, she said it doesnt feel bad but jst doesnt feel good either, no stimulation.. ive come both time we've tried it and i do enjoy it (not as much as vaginal sex) and she says shes happy to do it for me (which is lovely of her), though i cant fully enjoy it unless shes enjoying it. does it take a few times before it starts getting enjoyable for her or may it be that anal sex just doesnt stimulate her? Any answers would be greatly appreciated.
Daniel
Try doing it missionary. That stimulates the anal g-spot better. And yes, it does take a little time.
Hey I know what you are talking about. My wife was the same way. Once you start going down on her start playing with her ass. then before you start penetrating get her to start with a vibrator on her front bum. not only will it change the sensation but she will relax and really start to enjoy the anal sex. Believe me her desire will change she will want it.
The best position my partner and I have found is for me to lie on the bed with my legs over the edge. He stands between my legs and i put them up onto his shoulders so he has complete access to a*s and pu**y. He usually has already been down on me and I'm already wet and ready for it. Sometimes we need lube othertimes we don't - it depends how wet I am.
Having anal sex in this position is wonderful because he can thrust deeply into me but the most important aspect is that we can see each other and look into each others eyes all through the experience.
In this position I am also able to play with my pu**y to make sure that I can control when I come so we can time it together.
Looking into each others eyes as we both cum during anal sex is a mind blowing experience - try it!!
first timer wantin 2 try anal with my partner; any advice given will be appreciated.
THANKS
How do you recieve anal sex? My partner has done it before but I haven't and I'm a little nervous and have no idea what i'm supposed to do ... HELP!
i get excited just from the thought of anal sex. watching it drives me wild. when my man goes to touch me there i love it, but as much as i want it when he goes to insert his penis it just will not go. i just dont understand, he wants it, i want it, and it causes us both a great deal of frustration. what are we doing wrong?
Firstly get yourself in a comfortable position. I would suggest "doggy" style. Then lift up so that you anus is in line with his penis. Thereafter use a lot of lube, baby oil or olive oil and let him finger it right inside. Now for penetration: He has to have similar lube on his penis, and when starting dont go for a full penetration. Let him do about 1 1/2 inches a time for a few days, gradually increasing the depth as you feel comfortable with. In about 3 weeks time he should be able to go in 8 inches and the rest is history. Use condoms to start off with, but sometimes my hubby conveniently doesn't. Taking a load into you a*s is fantastic but remember there's a lot of cleaning up to do afterwards, as the a*s hole is not designed to retain semen so dribbling out is inevitable. Enjoy :)
Lizz
what if we do it at the same time on both holes, one minute on a...ss and the other in vagina ... does it cause an infection?
Linda just be careful that a mans c**k is not alternating by penetrating is your a*s and p**sy at the same time. Some women also have it inserted into the mouth. Infections can spread very easily this way. A suggestion would be if you want it like that is to try a threesome/foursome 2m1f or 3m1f. Each one than has his hole for penetration. Enjoy
Lizz
I tried anal two days ago and it was amazing. he slid slowly inside me and began to thrust deeper and deeper. That night i received mind blowing orgasms! Definitely a must try!
Poppy
Poppy, I find that the anus can take a huge c**k up to 10 inches if it is properly inserted. It's great if you want ultra deep penetration. Although I get my partner to use a condom most of the time, sometimes I risk it without condoms and I can tell you that when your partners releases into you a**s it can be a messy process as when you stand up it all dribbles out ... so watch it where and when you do it. oh! and hot cum inside you is something to rave about LOL!!!
Lizz
Sure Poppy, a lot of woman are missing out on some great penetration
Lizz
the best buttsex position is when they are laying side by side. male is behind with his one leg upraised. It feels very good, it's a whole new feeling and he can really enjoy his "buttocks dance" (butt opening and closing)
I love anal intercourse but the only small hangup I have about it is when my partner (As my husband did eventually give me the ok to do it with other males) does not use a condom. Men go absolutely crazy when penetrating a*s, expecially if it is a tight one, but experienced couples know how to accomodate even huge c**ks. The problem is I am not too thrilled if without a condom the man ejaculates into me. The sensation is great, but the leaking out afterwards needs a lot of continuous wiping off, expecially if you had it in a place where a bathroom is not easily available.
Lizz
NO GLOVE NO LOVE
I just had the best butthole sex..... creamed my panties. it was wonderful. but my boyfriend had poop on his dick is this normal?
-Kate
Let him use a condom as I think he f***ed your A** too deep. Next time around make sure you have a good bowel workout and a clean up with soap and water and I think the problem will be solved.
Lizz
The first time I tried this was in the shower and I was extremely tense. As soon as the head started entering, I screamed in pain. We tried it again, and the same thing happened. Then a minute after that we tried it again and it didn't hurt. I actually started to enjoy it. We now do it regularly and I love it. I usually orgasm way before he does. I find the easiest way to start off is in the spooning position. It is the least painful and easiest to stay relaxed.
I'm a pure bottom having boobs & this will surely help me in having good anal sex without pain & with more pleasure.
He took me expertly with the skill of a perfect craftsman. His fingers shaped to precision with a tapering edge which circumvented my anus with a gentleness saved for newborns. His breath caressed my neck and the softness of his body covered me like a Downey comforter. He spoke with the strength of a lion but cooed with the gentleness of a babe.
My body shuddered in anticipation of this firmness yet cautious of the perceived pain. He moved my hair as he kissed my neck from behind I could smell his maleness. His member assertively knocked at my anus with persistence in a rhythmic dance spared for trusted lovers. My body joined him in the rhythm as waves travelled up my spine, feeling each single nerve salute his authority. He entered me and whispered inaudibly as I arched my back to facilitate his glory and taste his words
He rested his hand on the mound of my abdomen and drew me closer, willingly I went as a child to a parent trusting and yearning and lovingly. He spoke softly in my ear and the warmth of his breath excited me further, he fully entered me as I writhed in pleasure.
My genitalia blossomed with a sheen given to the man I love, the moistness a reward of his skills. The frenzy of our dance seemed to last forever with no pain only inexplicable pleasure. I felt his strength rack through his body as he loudly said my name, he repeated and repeated willing me to join him, blissfully I resigned myself as we momentously became one……….
The Picture of the girl's ass wearing the black thong is the best ass I've ever seen lol!!!!!!!!!!!
I think I might agree
i opened up to the idea but i feel like im going to have a bowel movement. is that normal?
Having a bowel movement prior to having anal sex ... well I am not sure and there may be different crieria for different people. Go and have your bowl emptied and read my comments of cleaning up and lubrication and then try it. It seems you are very tense. Believe me once you get over ths initial penetration, slowly and step by step, within a few weeks your a*s hole will be primed and your discomfort will disappear. Thing to remember. For now get the process done with only the person you are comfortable with. Lube well and use a condom and get only one ONE chosen c**k to pentrate.
Lizz
He probably is ripping you in two, ramming anything up your ass too fast can do a lot of damage and can cause you lots of problems! First and foremost your rectum is very very delicate. The tissue is very very thin and can rip easy. You also have a lot of bacteria and this can cause infection. Also, you have a nerve in your rectum called the vegal nerve which if stimulated too much can cause your heart to stop. Also, rough anal intercourse can cause hemmoroids which can be very very painful! Your partner needs to understand that he needs to be more easy, because he will hurt you! So if it hurts then he needs to stop and go easy! ALSO, USE LOTS AND LOTS OF LUBE!!!!
You make some very good points re-inforcing the articles cautions re need for good hygiene, thinness of anal tissue, use lots of lube, etc. However, you are a bit overly alarmist in tone. Many people enjoy anal sex without any problems if it is approached correctly. Also, despite a search for information on the vegal nerve I can find no information on it ... can you tell us where you get this information from?
he means the Vagal Nerve, also known as Cranial Nerve X (10). Also - he's wrong. The Vagus is connected to the heart, but it only supplies the upper parts of the GI tract, not the rectum and anus.
Anyway, even if you were able to stimulate the Vagus (just to clarify - this isn't possible from anal sex), it's basically impossible to stop the heart this way-- the heart is built to escape too much vagal activity.
what can you do if when you try to start having anal sex you feel like you have to use the restroom... does this always happens? How can i prevent that from happening?
Under normal circumstances this will only happen after anal penetration has taken place. If it happens just before you start, I suggest just get yourself worked up first and just before you start, go to the restroom and empty out. Thereafter use something like wet wipes or water and soap and wash the anus throughly at the same time fingering yourself to get cleaned up inside and maybe if some lubrication is available apply it throughly. I always carry some olive or baby oil and this works fine for me. You must give yourself some time to get relaxed and than you can proceed to receive the penis in your ass. Hope your anus has already been prepared for anal sex as doing it half heartedly will cause you much discomfort and is not recommended.
Lizz
After various attempts to convince my wife about anal sex she just would not dare ... until I started using the slow approach i.e. at the start of lovemaking I would run my Penis in and around her anal area. When she finally realised that a new experience was forthcoming, something in her told me that nothing was taboo about giving it a try.
So against all expectations she slowly opened up, but penetration was not possible without proper lubrication. On our next run she suggested olive oil and that did the trick, but for safety reasons we started using condoms. However anal sex does require complete relaxation on the woman's side and a very much lubricated penis on the man's side.
We carried on for weeks with gentle penetration (limited to about 1.5 inches of penis) and after about two months her anus finally started to accomodate more of my penis. At first there was very little sensation for her but once again when her mind told her that she wanted to be anally penetrated to get to orgasm the fun started. This took about two weeks and now anal sex has become part of our lovemaking scene.
A thing to never do is penetrate the anus and than the vagina. Stick with one at a time for an evening. In any case we both prefer oral sex more than vagina sex, so the anus is just a bonus for us.
Just as my hubby explained it was a slow painstaking event before I accomodated him. However as time went by it seemed to have eased and now I have no hangups about it, but for health and safety reasons I only do it with him.
We do have an open relationship so we are involved in things like threesomes and four at a time but my anus is always penetrated only by him. He does the lubrication and he knows how to approach the opening properly and now that we have the hang of it, he does pump quite vigorously up to the time that I have an orgasm. My only drawback once again is that I can't have his semen as he always uses a condom, but then he allows me to have oral sex with other men that I have chosen exclusively for this purpose so I do get my fair share of semen for the day.
Anal sex is beautiful, but you got to approach it gently and be very clean.Also if you a bit tight try various toys and or fingering for sometime to loosen up and always stay lubricated.
Maybe if with my hubbys consent if a similar partner in our three or four some knows how to go about it, i will oblige, just as I open up to vaginal sex during sessions with my hubby and others and to oral sex with my hubbys knowledge when I am at work because of my feel for a high intake of semen daily ... I love my hubby and I love him for what he allows me to do. :)
Lizz
Lizz you once again beat me to the draw. You explained the Anal situation very beautifully and I am glad that you have been properly prepared for it. Now to others out there. We are very bold in our sex experiences and I can assure my wife Lizz that if she so desires and wishes an anal penetration by someone else the next time, then I got no hangup about it provided this guy can do it like me or better. Gently starting off and eventually pounding her at the proper angle.If she is comfortable with it and im sure she will be than a whole new world of sex can open up for her, cause despite she being my wife she can indulge in oral, virginal and anal sex with other persons provided she encourages the hygiene and precautions I thought her.
Dave
Just want to start off by saying you both sound very cool open minded people. I appreciate your comments. I personally have been experimenting w/ myself (anal) but never experimented with any of my partners.
My husband and I have extremely satisfying anal sex. We had an amazing sex life before we tried anal sex... and anal made it even better, honestly.
The best position for me to orgasm with no other stimulation is, oddly enough, the "missionary" position. This position helps me to relax completely and open up to my husband's entry. He eases in very slowly, looking me in the eyes for signs of pleasure... or too much pain. That is absolutely essential. It only takes about 10 seconds for him to slide all the way in gently. He is very respectful of my pain level.
If your partner cannot ease in slowly out of respect for your body and pain level, he may not be the right man for you. Please do not think I am intruding or being nosy. I just know that when my husband looks me in the eyes, and slowly eases all the way in, it is amazing and I know he is careful with my body. This allows me to trust him implicitly and completely.
Once in, he can pump as hard as he wants, and the deeper the better for me, truly. I orgasm like I never have with anal sex. Don't get me wrong, vaginal sex between us is delicious and I love when he licks me to orgasm, but anal sex kicks it up 100 notches for us.
We use a very tastey nut oil blend that I picked up at our natural foods store. It is edible and extremely lubricating. I love to lick his sweet ass and him licking mine is absolutely divine!
It was my idea to try anal sex and he was absolutely shocked when I suggested it... and thrilled. It has brought us closer. He now knows every inch of my body, inside and out... and loves it. So do I. Again, the fact that he respects my body and appreciates that I let him in... and cum so hard for him... makes our anal sex life 1000 times better.
Hi- my husband and I have tried this before (and i guess succeeded since he did climax), but it's never pleasurable, and always painful and uncomfortable. He is coming home from a week long business trip (the longest we've been separated for in the 4 years we've been married) and I miss him so much I want to fulfill any wish he has. This is probably his numero uno unfortunately for me ... I am wondering what else I can do, besides lots of lube and easing one bit at a time, using toys/finger etc. Should I be pushing any pressure down there like I am trying to shit? or should I not be flexing at all?
a good bold story. I am glad that you enjoy Anal sex as much as I do and it's a good idea to stick with one partner. Although I am somewhat different when it comes to having sex experiences, the anal side is always with my husband only. It's a bit disappointing for me though that I cannot have his semem swallowed or gurgled as he uses condoms, but when we indulge in 3m 1f I at least get the benefit of swallowing the other two. I am sure our sex lives differ, and I think that you must be having it good the way you desire it, so you dont have to change anything. Enjoy.
Lizz
Ok, I have had anal sex before, but I always feel like I am ripping in 2 ... also my partner doesn't like easing in, he gets turned on by ramming it in there ... is that safe?
Anal sex can be painless if the initial penetration is done while both partners are lying on their sides. After a few slow strokes, relaxation is achieved and then any position can be assumed. http://reardoorwatch.com/painless.html
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