Her First Time
Most women are naturally a bit afraid of their first time having sex. Will I enjoy it? Will it hurt? Will I satisfy my man? Is he the right one? These are all questions that most women think about before their first time. The truth is that your first few times having sex will not be remembered as your best sex ever. Most women agree that the first time often hurts a little, is uncomfortable, and is often very clumsy. Once you get passed the first few times, you will start enjoying all the pleasures that this type of intimacy has to offer.
Being Ready
The first thing to consider is the person you are with. You want your first time to be with someone you really care for and that really cares for you in return. Since sex will most likely be not that great the first few times, the person you are with is what you’ll want to remember. Many women often rush into sex before they are ready because their friends are doing it or because their boyfriend is expecting it. Neither of these should be a part of your reason, there is no correct amount of time to wait; you just want to make sure that you will not regret the decision later.
A few questions you can ask yourself are: Do I trust my partner with my life? Can I see myself having a long relationship with this person? Is he pressuring me? Is having sex for me, or for someone else?
Although everyone has anxieties, if you don’t feel you are completely ready, wait. If the guy you are with really cares for you enough, he will understand that this is a big decision, and you don’t want to rush it. You do not want to give it up to a guy who is worried more about his stature with his friends then your feelings.
Tips
- Choose a place where you feel safe and comfortable, your bedroom may be the best place.
- Choose a secure time when roommates / parents / friends won't come barging in.
- Gain some experience ahead of time. You want to have explored foreplay for quite awhile before you take the plunge. Having a good understanding of how your and his body works as well as having played together will take away much of the tension. Make sure that you feel 100% comfortable in the nude with the lights on, as having sex will be much more intimate then looking at each other.
- Communication is the most important thing in a sexual relationship. Make sure to talk about doing it ahead of time to make sure that you are both thinking the same thing. Getting the topic out in the open allows you to become more comfortable with the topic.
- Most women feel pain during intercourse the first few times because they aren’t used to having an object penetrating them. This can be reduced dramatically through fingering. Whether you finger yourself or your partner fingers you, stretching out your vaginal opening will definitely improve the experience.
- Feel free to say stop when ever you want, whether you haven’t started, are starting, or are well under way. It may be because you are getting cold feet, or something about the situation feels wrong, the reason can be whatever you want, just make sure the person you are with will honor your wishes.
- Excessive dryness of the vagina can be a problem, especially when nervous of the first time experience of intercourse. Although lubricant will not stop all the pain, it will definitely decrease it to some extent. K-Y Jelly is most often recommended, and it can be purchased in our online store.
- There are a few positions that are really good for starting out, depending on your concerns. If you want to be in control, then we suggest having your partner lie on his back, and you can straddle him “cow girl style”. If you would rather be on the bottom, the missionary position is probably the best way to start.
- If your partner has erection difficulties, or ejaculates prematurely - either of which often happens the first few times - be supportive. This can be one of the most embarrassing things that can happen to a young man, and if not dealt with properly, can result in ongoing problems. If erection problems do happen, try to stimulate him a little, and take some time before you try to put it in again.
- The most important thing you need to know is to practice safe sex by using protection. Whether it be to protect you from pregnancy, or to prevent contracting STDs, you want to protect yourself to the fullest extent. Until you have been with your partner to get checked for STDs, and you are on other birth control, there is no excuse for not using protection. Just because there is no excuse not to use them doesn’t mean that guys will do everything they can to get away from them, and be prepared to hear everything from it makes me go limp, to it takes away from the pleasure, to they were sold out. You can buy condoms at most pharmacies, or order them online from our online store.
Remember, this experience should be an extremely special and intimate time for both partners. Good luck, and remember, the best sex happens with people you care greatly about.
Hey hun , dnt worry about things hes done with other girls hes been with . if you love the guy and you guys been together for this long why not BUT , if you say you have low self esteem make sure you feel comfortable around your partner . and juss remeber theres nutting wrong in waiting . ihts all about if you feel comfortable with yur self and trust yur partner enough to take that stepp .
I'm 17 & ive been with my boyfriend for 3 years and im still a virgin . theres nothing wrong with waiting ; duh ! theres gonna be times wen you feel ihts the right moment & you wanna do iht so badly but den you get nervous and hesitate . dnt worry ladies iht all takes time . iht all depends on what typ of grl you are and if you comfortable with yur self and your partner . KEEP THAT IN MIND . :]
ladys be nice and do not tease
if ur man ejaculates with ease
i'm 16 and i'm still a virgin. but i've been with the same boy for a year and a half now. i want to have sex, but i'm still nervous, you know? and he loves me alot and i love him with all my heart. but he doesnt want to have sex. and i totally respect that. and we've both decided to wait until we move in together because we both understand that having sex while your still in school is a bad idea. but i'm totally looking forward to marrying that boy!!! and we'll have the most beautiful children lol
I'm 18 soon 2 be 19 n I'm still a virgin I plan to wait untill I'm married to have sex are either engaged that's the best time for ME.
um yeah i wanna ask the girls my gf is still a virgin and she weants to have sex with me but iv had it abefore and all the girls say it really hurt as i have a fairly large penis and i dont want to have sex with my gf as im afraid it will really hurt her and i dont like the idea of causing her pain but im also afraid she will leave me and i really like her what should i do
ur story sounds fairly familiar! my boyfriend had the same fear and we talked about it. It was my first time and he was afraid of hurting me. me being 21 and a half and him being 29. We agreed to have sex and sure enough it hurt...BUT he was very careful with me and we have a good communication that the minute i said it hurt he would slow down and a few times he even completly stopped in order for me to catch ma breath. what i suggest is give it a try but keep your eyes open for any pain reaction in her part. hopefuly u guys have a good communication that will make her feel comfortable in telling you when its too painful.good luck!
so i recently lost my virginity to my boyfriend and he's pretty big. well....really big lol i really wanted to have sex (much like you said) and he also was nervous and didnt wanna hurt me. he actually went soft at first because i said it hurt. but anyway, it did hurt. but i dont take it back at all. i wanted to physically show him my love and if it does hurt her too much let her know she can say to stop. just make her feel comfortable. love should make the pain worth it
Coming from a 20-year-old female who's never had sex, but has a married friend (with a large penis) and has had similar difficulties when he started having sex with his wife--here's what I suggest,
first) be ABSOLUTELY sure that you and her want to have sex. There is NO RUSH. Once you lose your virginity, you can NEVER get it back.
Second) make sure it's memorable other than the fact that it was your guys' first time together.
Third) when you start to penetrate her, just take it easy. There's no rule that you have to pump in and out as fast as you can or else you're not a man. :p
I would recommend lots of fingering first to help loosen her slightly, as well as get the juices flowing, because it's so much easier to go in gently if she's wet. If she's not wet, my bf (soon-to-be fiance) has found it's a great way to get me wet fast by playing with my clit, even using his fingers to tap my clit. I've also learned that there is a clinical reason why grabbing or even smacking the ass is pleasurable-thanks to the strategic places of the nerves in the pelvic region, when you smack or even grab the ass, the sensations move through towards the front, therefore increasing sexual desire.
Hope I helped! :)
i am 14 years old and i was tlking to this boy who i go school with on msn it was funny and then he bought up the sex subject si i was going along with it and everything and as i was going along with it i was getting orgasms so i was thinking i must want this so we decieded on the six weeks holidays at te end of year 10 and now iim looking at this website he sent to be and he is telling me a list of positions he waantsn to do but its alright for him he aint the one with a cock going in him, but now i am having second thoughts and i dont wanna do it but then i dont want him calling me a whoss i mean im not going out with him :| what shal i do :|
first off honey don't ever think that you have to do something with someone bcus they want you to; especially if you feel uncomfortable with it. and second i met a guy off here who has an msn and he is def a creeper lol. i don't talk to him at all anymore. try and stray away from talking to ppl online about personal subjects like sex. mostly bcus you don't kno this young boy personally. i hope you take my advice and realize that your body is a temple and someone that you know a lot better and truly care about and possibly love should be the one to take your virginity.
hope i was of some help <33
Well I was 14 when I started dating my bf he was 18 he wanted to wait til I was 18 to have sex and I was glad he wanted 2 wait if he really loves u he will wait even though we ended up having sex when I was 16 he was 20 it was a pretty good experience it hurted and there was blood everywere but after a couple of times it stopped hurtin and it became pleasing I can't speak 4 all guys they're not all the same but I am now 20 he's 24 and were engaged.
trust me on this...you are way too young for sex right now. No matter how much you think you're in love with this boy, trust me...I'm 18 and there are going to be a million other guys. You want to hang on to your virginity for as long as you can. You like him that's fine...but he's pressuring you. And I know deep in your heart you know that he's not the right one for you. Sex is also a huge responsibilty. Not only emotionally, but physically. Trust me. If you lose your virginty right now you will regret it. You want to lose it to someone who you truly know you will be with for the rest of your life. Not just be another notch on someone's belt. I have had many guys pressure me before...and I didn't give in so they dumped me. Then I finally met the right one. He not only waited for me for two years, but my first time was perfect. I didn't lose it til here recently and I am 18. You want your first time to be tender and about a connection and a bond that only you and one other person will feel. You want it to be magical. Not ridiculously awkward, and fast. My cousin lost hers at 14, then her parents made her move, and the guy won't even talk to her on the phone now. She regrets it. Trust me...plz just hang on to it for as long as possible.
you realize that if he calls you a wuss or anything for saying no then clearly he doesnt care about how you feel and while i am usually all for sex at any age you might just wana wait or at least not have it with someone who is in it just for sex and not for you
Im 18 years old and still a virgin i ave had bfs but never had a long term bf so i havent had anyone to loose it to. Im n college now so it seems that i wont find a bf for the nxt 3 years because all guys in college just want the one thing. Whats worse is that ALL of my friends ave slept with someone nd every time we are together all we talk bout is sex which makes me feel like an idiot cos i ave no experience. Im also scared about meeting up with guys that i talk 2 in case they want one thing. At this stage i think that im ready to loose it but i dnt want it to be with a stranger nd i dont want to regret it!!! I also ave never tried givin head to a guy because i think that i wouldnt be able to make him cum nd that i wud embarras myself.
If your friends talking about sex makes you uncomfortable, you don't have to ditch your current friends, but try to make some new friends who are still virgins, too. I understand what you're going through completely and I applaud you for not losing your virginity so easily.
Please, please, please remember this with every person that you may encounter, you are a princess and a lady and you DESERVE a Real Man. A Real Man WILL WAIT for you if he loves you, honors you, cherishes you, and NEVER, EVER ask for, beg, or pressure you into sex.
For giving head, make absolutely sure he has no STD's FIRST and FOREMOST! (If he hasn't showered or cleaned his penis within the past few or several hours and smells weird, a good guy will happily take a 5-10 minute shower to clean himself up.) Make sure you feel totally comfortable with him first, you'll BOTH enjoy it vastly more if you feel you are ready. Also, as far as technique, there isn't much to it. Just relax and try to enjoy your partner's positive responses to the stimulation you're giving them.
If you don't want to swallow, don't. In my and some of my friend's experiences, if you swallow on an empty stomach, semen tends to give one a stomach-ache. If you do want to try swallowing, recommend eating a snack first. :)
Your best bet is just to start dating guys, and yeah the majority of them are all wanting sex. But who knows..maybe you will find the right one. And don't be so uptight when your friends are talking about sex, you can make a joke and try to switch the subject or you can take the chance and opportunity to ask them ???'s about it. And as far as giving head goes...you have to be careful, make sure the guy doesn't have anything like herpes that will show up around your mouth. And as far as head goes just make sure you relax your throat muscles, and don't bite down. Even try using your hand a lil if his penis is too big. Just look at some porn and watch how it's done. Study technique..I know it sounds gay, but trust me. It works.
first off not all college guys expect sex or see it as the priority, most guys by then understand the importance of sex, just find one you can trust. For the whole giving head thing if your with a guy ask them for advice and what they like, and in reality you dont have to make them cuz, the stimulation alone is good enough for most just incorporate your hands mouth and tongue and avoid teeth contact
Well look im 18 yrz old now and have been going out with my bf for 2 yrz and i really feel he's the right one. Im still a virgin but i really feel that he is the guy that i want to lost it with but the thing is that I'm really scared because I do not want to get pregnent at all. I am so ready and comfrotable having sex with him but everytime where together makingout -etcc we alwayz get to the point of having intercourse but i back off when where about to start because i do not want to have a baby right now. My bf say's that he will use 1 or 2 ccondomz? If that good enough to prevent pregnancy? but other wise i really want to lose it with him=] i feel like i found the perfect one
make an appointment with an OBGYN to talk about birth control methods. and avoid 2 condoms at once..the rubbing of the condoms create friction, which creates holes, then you get leakage. Not what you want. talk to an OBGYN about limpinon(I think I spelt it wrong) it's a pen inserted into your arm, but your good on it for three years, and you don't gain weight, but you still want to use a condom just in case. Get a pamphlet and look into your options.
...was when I was 18 almost 19 (I'm 19 now). It was pretty spontaneous. We were making out pretty heavily and he and I like to talk dirty so I said something like, "You wanna be inside me?" and he said "Would you let me?" and I said "Ya." The moment broke for a little and he said, "Really? Are you sure about it?" and I said yeah. And then he asked me again and I said "yes I'm sure about it." By this point we weren't together for a long time, but I knew that he would be the person I would lost my virginity with. It hurt for me a lot and I bled a lot too, but really I think it's different for each girl. I know a girl where she said it hurt at first, but she didn't bleed and she got used to it. So, really you can't predict how it's going to be like. But anyways I'd like to say I'm with him still and we are both very happy =]
Last night I lost my virginity...
Like, last night as in a few hours ago.
I'm 17 years old and I love my boyfriend.
It wasn't terrible and it didn't hurt as much as I expected.
However, to the girls who are considering losing it...
Make SURE that you're ready emotionally. It's a pretty vulnerable feeling after you lose it... Well, for me at least /:
Just be careful, girls<3
im vayliaah im 20 i plain to have sex on my birthday
but im really scare u know ,i just dont want to sex with a man in the man doesnt married me
Ohkay, so, i am 15, and 16 soon. And im with this boy, that i really truly love, and we have been talking about having sex and stuff, and i jsut want to know if its too soon.
don't mean to be harsh but if you have to ask complete strangers then it's obvious that you're not ready.
in my honest opinion you are way too young. You think you love him, but if he really loves you he will wait til your ready. My boyfriend waited on me for two years and now he's my fiance. But then again I can't tell you what you can or cannot do. The truth is if you are going to do what you want despite what I say. But atleast go to the health department and get birth control first. You can go with a friend, so none of your parents have to know, and it's free for minors. But be aware..they may want an appointment for a papsmeare. After you have had sex. They give you a lil brown bag with condoms and tons of info that you really can use. You want to weigh all options, and pros and cons first. just a few tips: make an appointment early, and go in earlier than your scheduled time so you're not sitting there all day long. But you should wait atleast a year of dating before having sex. It's a big step.
Is it the NEED or the WANT thats making you talk about having sex? Do you NEED to have sex now at this tender age? NO. Do you WANT to? Yes and No! There's always a first time to everything and that al depend on you!
only you know when it is too soon but if you have to ask then it means you might be a little uncomfortable about it still. I'm not gonna say you are too young but just don't do it unless you absolutely know you are ready
16 is young. but its not that bad. as long as you are safe safe safe. how long have you guys been dating?
i actually i was 19 and i really wanted to wait until marriage but i really feel we will get married but anyway. i was the one who began the whole thing my bf went to the bathroom and when he came out we kissed and fromthere i took out the condom and he asked me was i sure and i told him yes i was. we did missionary obviously it was my first time and i knew that my bf had done it before. lol he told he before he entered me that he felt like it was his first time again because the last time he had engued in any sexual activity was about 4 years ago. and i could tell that he felt like a yound boy again because i could see it in his eyes. But girl before he even got the head of his shaft all the way in i felt the pain he slowly entered me and when he finally got his penis all inside i just felt pain in my vjay but i told him to keep going he was really gentle and caressed me and kissed me and made me feel really good. After about five minutes into it the pain went in and out. but if your ready you kno it.also another thig ladies you may or may not bleed on your first or fifth time because i bleed my 4th time its really light blood spikles.
I'm 17 and still a virgin. I haven't been with my boyfriend long enough to lose it yet (I want to wait around 6 months into the relationship) but I really love him and have been thinking about it...
But I really want it to be like the perfect scene. Like, I don't want it to be in the backseat of his car, I don't want it to be like sneaking in while my parents are out of town or anything... I just want it to be romantic and... RIGHT.
Does anyone have any suggestions as to what would be a good place OTHER than one of our houses or his car to lose it?
Have you thought about staying at a nice hotel for the night?
the picture at the top is what i wish my first time looked like! my first time was in the dark of the night with the man i loved very much and still do but it was dark and on his bed and i wasn't wearing that sexy little bra and painties that she is wearing which i own something simular now but still not as sexy!!
hahaha i think we all wish our first times looked like that! :P
Im 18 and thinking about having sex with a much older man(we met online and have been dating a year now). Any tips or advice on how to make it more comfortable for both of us?
first of all, 18? good on you! most of the girls on this site who are thinking of having sex for the first time are all 14, 15 and 16!
second, i think the best way to start is SLOWLY. positions dont really matter, as long as you're doing positions that let your legs stay wide open, to allow easier access. it will hurt, but unfortunately i'm not sure there's much you can do about that besides to grin and bear it. if anything feels wrong, stop. dont continue just because you already started. take it step by step and go at your own pace. and deffinately the same for him!
hope that helps!
I'm seventeen and a virgin, for now, and have been going out with my boyfriend for 4 months. We've joked about sex, but this past weekend he finally brought it up, which was responsible and good. However... he's all revved and ready to go, but due to issues in his past, he finds oral and hand jobs degrading to women. Sweet if I was sure about his thoughts about doing them to me. I don't exactly want to dive right into sex, no forplay, but I feel weird pushing the issue. I don't really have anyone to talk to about this, so... suggestions??
One of the best ways I know to get a guy excited without oral or hand jobs is making out... Well, more than that. Try pulling him onto you while your making out and grinding against him a little bit ("dry humping"). I'm a virgin also, but from my experience it works haha.
Foreplay is more then blow jobs and hand jobs. if you do it or he does. In my experience they best way to ease into sex without that is kissing. alot of kissing (making out whatever) that gets you both excited (just not as quick as BJs and what not.) but it will make the sex more meaningful, since it is your first time. plus you guys can still touch and kiss one another. its easy to get aroused without the major foreplay things.
im 14 and still a virgin, i want to lose it but i'm just not self confident enough to do anything about it. i do think this site has helped me feel more normal. but i would like any advice about confidence if you have any.
thanks in advance
I dont suggest advertising you want to lose it to any friends, cause you will just get ppl that will hit it and quit it, really wait till you know you love someone.
14 is young. and It shouldnt be something that you just want to lose. A friend of mine just wanted to lose it and lost it and regrets it. she did it with a guy she barely knew and she just did whatever. just to not be a virgin. its something that you should give up to the right guy. not something that you want to get rid of just cause everyone else is.
Age does matter. At 14 you are too young to understand the emotions that go along with sex.You may be able to have sex physically but emotionally you are going to change so much over the next few years. I do agree that you need to find the right guy. lil_jessta you are very lucky to have found the "right one" so early. Most people are not as fortunate. Also my previous comment was referring not to the literal age of a male...I was saying a real man will respect you versus a "boy" who only wants you for your vagina. A "boy" could be a 30 yr old male. I agree with lil_jessta though..make sure to use a condom..but I still stand with my original comment that 14 is too young. There are an aweful lot of diseases going around these days and I would wait until you know someone very very well and you are both tested for all stds.
I recommend you wait for the right man. You will not have to worry about self confidence when you are with someone who loves you for you and not your vagina. Boys your age dont care about you they just want to have sex with you. Wait for the right one. Real men not boys want a woman who has self respect. I would focus on giving yourself self respect and let everything else work itself out. I was a virgin until age 24. I waited until I was married and do not regret it one bit. Men want to date the girls who put out and marry the ones that dont. Just my opinion. good luck.
I think that comment is rather sexist, all guys her age are not interested in her vagina, however it would be best if you waited for someone you loved and just as importantly you trust but it could be at any age
I think it completely depends on if uv met the rite guy or not. I lost my virginity when i was 15 but i met the perfect guy who i trusted n loved n i know he returns those feelins. We are still together now so age doesn't matter. In my opinion wait until u meet mr perfect and take ur time and be safe. Otherwise good luck and enjoy ;)
p.s ALWAYS USE A CONDOM!!! getting pregnant is sooo not worth it
My first time was when I was 14(I'm 16 now), and in all honesty, it was not good at all. It hurt like hell and didn't last long at all. I bleed a lot too.
u bleeding was probably him poping ur cherry
were u nerves when u had sex the 1st time
its hard for me to pinpoint my exact first time, because im one of those people who didnt bleed or anything. at first, i didnt think id actually done it bc it was shallow & i couldnt feel anything in me break, even tho it hurt (good hurt tho, bc i knew it was what i wanted and it was the right time). after we'd done it a few times & it actually started feeling really good, i kind of freaked out bc i hadnt bled, so i researched it, and according to wikipedia (yay) only 43% of girls bleed their first time.
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