Q. When I do sexual things with my boyfriend everything feels good. I feel like I get close to orgasming, but don't:
1. Is it true that your body has to "mature" before you can orgasm?
2. After an orgasm does sex lose its pleasurable feeling?
1. One of the most important factors to consider is whether you can bring yourself to orgasm. Although it's delightful for someone else to deliver you the 'Big "O"', masturbation helps you receive it more successfully. Here's how:
a. Masturbating gives you control over the time, the place and the technique. Without having to worry about pleasuring anyone else, you can focus all the attention on what makes you feel good.
b. There's no opportunity to get self-conscious while you're self-pleasuring; you can make faces, grunt or squirm, and there's no one there to see it.
c. Exploring different masturbatory techniques will familiarize you with the sensations that lead you to orgasm.
d. In order to feel relaxed enough to climax in front of another person, it helps when you build up sexual confidence through personal exploration.
e. If you partner has little understanding of the female body, you can be the one to show him how it's done.
If you've got Masturbation down pat but still have trouble climaxing with your partner, remember that many (if not most) women do not Orgasm from penile stimulation alone, but require other forms of stimulation to bring them to climax. Make sure that one of you is adding secondary stimulation to other Erogenous Zones such as the clitoris, breasts – or whatever turns you on.
Review our Sex Positions Guide, specifically focusing on the poses that stimulate the G-spot. Also try out positions that simultaneously arouse your clitoris and g-spot as you're having sex: Drill and Missionary (Inverted) are two of the best. Sex Toys can also play a vital role in bringing you to orgasm; they liven up Foreplay and get your erogenous zones aroused.
2. Your body doesn't necessarily need to mature (in terms of age) in order to experience an orgasm. Some women are just naturally more orgasmic than others, and are capable of experiencing both clitoral and vaginal orgasms since a very young age. On the other hand, it takes many women years of Masturbation as well as sexual activity in order to develop the right technique for stimulation. Another reason is that it takes time for some women to develop enough self-confidence and maturity to remove the psychological limitations of pleasure, e.g. low self-esteem, fear, or distracting thoughts.
You were also wondering if sex loses its pleasurable feeling after you come. The definition of the word climax is to reach the highest point, and in the case of an Orgasm, it's the peak of sexual excitation. Once some women ascend to this point, they are completely gratified and are happy to conclude lovemaking. Other women can continue having sex; in fact, they climax many times over, whether by G-spot, clitorally - or a combination of both. There is no right or wrong in this situation; ultimately, it will depend on your personal preference, arousal level and mood. The physical and emotional connection that you have with your sexual partner can also play a big part in your orgasmic potential.