Her First Time
Most women are naturally a bit afraid of their first time having sex. Will I enjoy it? Will it hurt? Will I satisfy my man? Is he the right one? These are all questions that most women think about before their first time. The truth is that your first few times having sex will not be remembered as your best sex ever. Most women agree that the first time often hurts a little, is uncomfortable, and is often very clumsy. Once you get passed the first few times, you will start enjoying all the pleasures that this type of intimacy has to offer.
Being Ready
The first thing to consider is the person you are with. You want your first time to be with someone you really care for and that really cares for you in return. Since sex will most likely be not that great the first few times, the person you are with is what you’ll want to remember. Many women often rush into sex before they are ready because their friends are doing it or because their boyfriend is expecting it. Neither of these should be a part of your reason, there is no correct amount of time to wait; you just want to make sure that you will not regret the decision later.
A few questions you can ask yourself are: Do I trust my partner with my life? Can I see myself having a long relationship with this person? Is he pressuring me? Is having sex for me, or for someone else?
Although everyone has anxieties, if you don’t feel you are completely ready, wait. If the guy you are with really cares for you enough, he will understand that this is a big decision, and you don’t want to rush it. You do not want to give it up to a guy who is worried more about his stature with his friends then your feelings.
Tips
- Choose a place where you feel safe and comfortable, your bedroom may be the best place.
- Choose a secure time when roommates / parents / friends won't come barging in.
- Gain some experience ahead of time. You want to have explored foreplay for quite awhile before you take the plunge. Having a good understanding of how your and his body works as well as having played together will take away much of the tension. Make sure that you feel 100% comfortable in the nude with the lights on, as having sex will be much more intimate then looking at each other.
- Communication is the most important thing in a sexual relationship. Make sure to talk about doing it ahead of time to make sure that you are both thinking the same thing. Getting the topic out in the open allows you to become more comfortable with the topic.
- Most women feel pain during intercourse the first few times because they aren’t used to having an object penetrating them. This can be reduced dramatically through fingering. Whether you finger yourself or your partner fingers you, stretching out your vaginal opening will definitely improve the experience.
- Feel free to say stop when ever you want, whether you haven’t started, are starting, or are well under way. It may be because you are getting cold feet, or something about the situation feels wrong, the reason can be whatever you want, just make sure the person you are with will honor your wishes.
- Excessive dryness of the vagina can be a problem, especially when nervous of the first time experience of intercourse. Although lubricant will not stop all the pain, it will definitely decrease it to some extent. K-Y Jelly is most often recommended, and it can be purchased in our online store.
- There are a few positions that are really good for starting out, depending on your concerns. If you want to be in control, then we suggest having your partner lie on his back, and you can straddle him “cow girl style”. If you would rather be on the bottom, the missionary position is probably the best way to start.
- If your partner has erection difficulties, or ejaculates prematurely - either of which often happens the first few times - be supportive. This can be one of the most embarrassing things that can happen to a young man, and if not dealt with properly, can result in ongoing problems. If erection problems do happen, try to stimulate him a little, and take some time before you try to put it in again.
- The most important thing you need to know is to practice safe sex by using protection. Whether it be to protect you from pregnancy, or to prevent contracting STDs, you want to protect yourself to the fullest extent. Until you have been with your partner to get checked for STDs, and you are on other birth control, there is no excuse for not using protection. Just because there is no excuse not to use them doesn’t mean that guys will do everything they can to get away from them, and be prepared to hear everything from it makes me go limp, to it takes away from the pleasure, to they were sold out. You can buy condoms at most pharmacies, or order them online from our online store.
Remember, this experience should be an extremely special and intimate time for both partners. Good luck, and remember, the best sex happens with people you care greatly about.
i have an extreamely high sex drive and the only reason im a virgin is because im not attractive enough for anyone nobody wants to date me i feal like im stuck in a hole someone give me some advice and btw i dont think im unattractive other than the fact that im way overweight and i look like a boy
i was in the same shoes as you, i lost my V to my first bf. there is someone out there are everyone. i am overweight to and i found someone. i am sure u don't look like a boy. people find peopl ein the most werid places, i found my bf hanging out inmy group an di never noticed him until one of our friends set us up and it has been great, being single is great to. there are guys out there who like girls wiith meat on their bones. wiating is not fun but sometimes you do have to wait see what happens. if you are looking for someone to date they will never come out, stop looking all together and they will just pop up. i hope this helps. losing your V is something you will remember for the rest of your life and u want it to be to someone you car about a lot.
hey i am 20 years old, my bf (my first bf btw) is 22 we have been dating for 4 months now, it has been great, now i want to have sex with him. he is all for it, me i have never had sex before so i am scared, i don't know what to do. just to make things even more better for me , i can't use latex condoms or female birth control and my fear is getting knocked up. my mom wants me to talk to her. yes sex is an open topic in my house but when it comes to ME having sex, i can't just go hey mom i want to have sex with my first bf. so i am asking the lovely world of the internet for some help should i talk to my mother before having sex with my bf or have sex and tell her later. as of right now i still have my V card but i do want to give it up to him, i love him (i know that when some people read this they will roll their eyes and go they are not in love they are in lust, turst i have said that on many times, and now i am saying that i am in love i am such a loser..) he has waited for 4 months and i want sex to be his christmas gift from me ( i know lame )he has had sex before so i am a bit of a fight for him.( he is used to girls just giving it up by the first week or two, i never let him touch me sexauly untill i knew he really liked me ) i can say one thing the foreplay is sweet, we get so horny from like 30 mins of foreplay we have almost had sex two times before but i had to say no.(i know the third time sex will happen) but i just wanted some peoples idea's. i just need some help and i thank anyone who wants to help me.
One thing me and my guy do (even though i am on the pill I share your fear and we usually can't afford condoms so don't have any) is when having sex and he feels himself about to cum he will pull out and i will use my hand to finish him off all over myself. It will be hard for him and will require timing on his part but as it seems like he really cares for you he shouldn't have a problem with it. and if he does cum inside you it might be a good idea to have a few douches on hand to immediately go to the bathroom and rinse everything out. Personally him cumming on me is almost just as good as the sex itself, something erotically pleasing about seeing it all over me.
You are not a loser. I would definitely talk to your mother before having sex.
That is what mother's are there for.
If he loves you then he will wait with no hassle until you are ready. Don't push it.
i'm 13 and i love dating older boys, but i already know what they want. my boyfriend is 15. me and him were talking about having sex for about a month now. it's only gonna be MY first time. he wants to take my virginity. we've had sexual contact, like mutual masterbation, we would play with each other , and kiss and stuff, but now i'm ready to do the real thing wihich will happen on christmas. i had to think about it before i'll let it go. i mean, it feels like i'm just doing this for him. i've made up my mind, but it still doesnt seem right. i love him and he loves me but, idk if i'm doing the right thing. please help me ):
if it doesn't seem right then DO NOT DO IT. Something inside you is telling you that you are not ready. You are only 13. Please do yourself a favor and wait.
If he doesnt understand or is pushing you then kick him to the curb, please.
since your 13 you will regret it. i'm 15 and am dating a guy two months older. we were both virgins until we had been going out for 11 months and it just sort of happened. since your young it will be no fun and it will most likely hurt. and later i think you will feel used and realize that that is probably what he wanted from the whole relationship. older guys that date girls that young are looking for a girl that is naive and they think they can fool. you may think that it is love but when your older you will have many regrets. since i waited so long with my guy and we didnt even plan the first time i have no regrets. dont ever let someone pressure you into something!
Dear Taylor, I wold love to tell you that you should hold on a bit. Sex is good and absolutely good but there is always problem when indulged in the negative way. You might be thinking that you love your boyfriend and he also does and so, you can allow yourself to have sex but you are wrong. Immediately you do, his love for you might decrease. Also, you gain physical enjoyment but what about the emotional pains that goes afterwards.
Just be patient.
i agree with ya amstel. sex is a great thing to have in your life, but waiting is sometimes the best choice. i was 14 when i lost my virginity, and wish i had waited longer. which is odd i know, coming from a guy. but just keep in mind, sex changes everything. whether it changes for the good or bad, that's pretty much free game.
I hope I will do well my first time.
I've been with my boyfriend for about 5 months, but we'd been 'talking' for 2 months prior to getting together.
Anyhow, I love him.... And he loves me, too.... He's never once pressured me. I'm ready to lose my virginity to him.
He's not a virgin, and he knows what he's doing. (this doesn't bother me in the least)
Any advice?
Thanks in advance
thats exactly how i feel
K so I am 13 and a virgin. I have had orgasms before by stimulating my clit but thats about it. I hav tried fingering before but I couldnt get my finger in with out feeling a little bit of pain. Anyways I know at this age most girls have boyfriends and I think I might be ready to get one but I just wannna know in case a relationship with me and a guy gets serious what to expect for first time sex. (I am not just getting a boyfriend for sex but I know that many guys are pervs and get really honry so I wanna know the facts before I get into a situation with any guy oh and I like guys ranging from 13 to mid to late 20s....please dont judge me.)
I am 14 years old and I really want to have sex with me boyfriend who is 18 what should I do??? should I wait????will it hurt????what is better on top or on bottom for your first time???? HELP ME PLEASE >,,<
For me I think 14 is too young to lose your virginity but it all depends on how you feel with yourself and with your boyfriend. If you feel pressured at all about having sex then don't go ahead with it, you'll know when the time is right.
I literally lost my virginity a couple of days ago. It might hurt but then it might not. The first time me and my boyfriend tried I was too tense so he couldn't even penetrate me. The 2nd time was the same and the 3rd time he did get it in but it hurt so much I screamed in pain!
On our 4th attempt it worked. We were both more relaxed and it didn't hurt at all, it was extremely enjoyable! I was on the bottom because I wanted him to be in control. He's had sex a couple of times before so it just made more sense to me.
My gf is 21 and virgin, we are together for a year now. I want to ask her for intercourse but dont know how? She had given me blowjob twice before. But whenever i bring this topic she changes it, dont know why. I am not virgin and my manhood is 6inch. I dont know what the problem is. How should i ask her?
ks well iv been with my finacoa 4 four years now we have doing sexull stuff but about a week ago we tryed to have sex and we had planned it and well we took our time doing fourplay for a lil while but then when we tryed 2 have sex this is wat happend i tryed to slowly put my penis inside of her and i couldnt get my penis even half way in.
because she was in pain is there something i can do so she doesnt fill pain and i really need 2 know because she now wants to keep trying sex and she wants to try this weekend answers plzzzz im desperate HELP HELP.
ok so ima 14 and my bf is almost 18 (in 5 mounths)and we have been together almost a year we really love each other and ima a virgin and hes not.... and i am really sexual but the only thing iv done is a hj for him i really wanna hav sex with him?? but he is almost 10 inches and he can bearly put two fingers in me sooo will it hurt??? and is there to much of a age diffrence??? what should i do??? please HELP
not so much about the age difference as your age and what your body is ready for. Some people are ready at that age but if he can barely fit two fingers in you either he has huge fingers or your vagina just isn't ready. if you absolutely cannot wait then he will have to go slow, use lube, and more than likely won't be able to fit his whole shaft in and will have to keep things shallow.
I am 14 also turning 15 march 10 2011 and my boyfriend is 18 also turning 19 in August 20 2011. I am the same as you in every way you said in that message except for the fingering he can fit 2 fingers.After you get to one finger go to two and then three.
we tried once but he didn't enter because it would not fit. It will hurt and you will bleed a little but it will stop once your bf starts to move. The hurting will go away after having sex a few times I am willing to try my first time and if you love him and you KNOW he is the right one then go for it but you have to make sure you are prepared and that you are prepared to have a child if that does happen.
If you don't know that you are ready to take on all this responsibility then you should wait. I am going to wait even though I REALLY want to. I am going to wait till I am out of High school. I am in 9th grade. but yea I think you should wait till you are out of High school and/or wait till you are older just because you and your bf might get in trouble if other people find out.
I hope this helps if not I am sorry.
-Sexycat909
Make sure that during foreplay you get as wet as you can get before engaging in intercourse. If you feel the need to have extra lubercation on hand, just in case, use it if you are unsure. As far as hurting, tell him to go slow and make sure that he takes care of you. It may hurt, so I'm told, but I'm sure that he'll go easy on you if you ask him.
he says that he will go slow and if it hurts he will stop he wants me on top and i think it will hurt me if i go on top becuz it might go really deep. wat should i do???
okay so ive read on the commentes just about and im a male so im seeing this from womans stand point.. and i got some imformation that really helps to get your boyfriend to fit... i seem to have a problem fitting in most women i have sex with btw im 16 in 2 weeks and 2yrs sexually active so i know somewhat of what im talking about... so girls if you want him to fit in with more ease i suggest you have him play with your clit because it will arouse you and make you hole a little bigger this isnt for everygirl but it works for most part. im like 8 inches and thick and i have this problem with everygirl about so i always finger then by starting with 2 fingers. So try it, another great way is to get lube that helps alot i know it sounds dumb but thats what lube was made for.. good luck
I have been dating my girlfriend for a year now, we haven't done anything except kissed. When we started dating i told her i would not touch her until she was ready. a few days ago she told me she was ready and we had a good night. we did not have sex, but we had oral sex and stuff like that. i said i wanted to take her out to dinner and stuff to make our first time special. I am worried about having sex with her because i dont want to hurt her and piss her off. i have loved this girl for a year and i dont want to loose her we are 14, almost 15 and we are madly in love. we have both said we are ready, but i guess the point of this long comment is i dont want to hurt her. any help you can offer is greatly appricated.
A major peice of advice I gotta give is wait. Don't have sex so early. Sure you say you love her now but your also only 14. I'm 17 now and I lost my virginity when I was 16. I almost did it when i was 14 also but I truly thought about it and am surely glad that I waited because the man I thought I was so in love with and was in love with me turned out to be a not so great man. All I'm saying is just take a step back, talk alot, think about it. What if something goes wrong? Your 14 with a baby... Thats not good at all. Just choose wisely. Waiting a couple years might not be a bad choice.
thanks for the help, we went for it any way though, we had a great time and still love each other, we now just have added sex to our relationship, we dont regret it, it was wonderful.
steven i would have to say to get your hands on some lube... this is her first time im guessing... and i want you to know it is very important to listen to her needs, its her choice to have sex not yours... i know this well... so if she tells you to slow down or stop you should probably listen... if she says harder stay going slow because in the end she isnt quiet ready for hard thrusts... although most men, love to know they burst "her" cherry ive burst about 62 of them... on "their" first time.. but thats besides the point you should take it slow the first 3-4 times and the first 2 times will be boring and unenjoyable for you and her... no matter how much you too love eachother, another helpful thing get spermicidal condoms they, kill sperm cells ect, very helpful, but to conclude this you should listen to what she says think with your big head not you little head and be safe... ohhh one more thing bring more than one condom you may not last very long and if you guys stilll want to keep going its safest to remove and condom you just used, thuroughly clean your *cough cough* so there is no more sperm then put another condom on, remember to pinch the top of the condom that way no air gets into the condom.. :)
So I love this guy and he loves me too and I really want to "do him" but Im embaressed about our large age diffrence... What should I do??
how much of an age difference? sometimes age doesnt matter when it comes to love it might be better cause he has more experience?
for all those ppl out their i gots me a problem
i have been dating my girl for a year and some change, we have amazing foreplay but shes still a virgin and she doesent want to move on. I am a man and i have needs what to do ?
you have to understand that if she is not ready it will not make the sex any more enjoyable. try to masterbait because cheating, ingnoring her, or not doing anything all suck. do something that is good for both you and your girlfriend
well ima a virgin an comin from a girls point of view i say just tell her how u feel and y u want sex and how much u love her and mak her feel comfertable wit u and he havin sex tell her u will be carful and mak her feel good =) goosd luck
so i am dateing this girl i love her dearly and she loves me back and we want to have sex she is a virgin i am not but i have never been with a virgin i am a lil embaressed to ask but are their any tips for the first time for her so i can make her as comfy as possible i have talked to her about it and i know what she wants but i still want to get as much info as i can
im a 16 year old female and i had sex for the first time last week... it really hurt like alot but i continued thinking itd get better and it did(meaning it stopped hurting) but i didnt get any pleasure out of it. my boyfriend did so i didnt tell him but im really worried about why i didnt... any advice??
i was in the exact same position you are in just earlier this year...it eventually starts to feel good...just the first couple of times are gonna hurt...try asking him to take it slower and if he's a good guy he'll understand
i'm 15 and i'm attracted to older guys (17-25). i'm much more mature and insightful than girls my age and i look older. older guys hit on me and we carry on great conversations until they find out how old i am. guys my age don't appreciate me at all. i want to date an older guy but i can't seem to find any. so what do i do? (don't tell me to just date guys my age because its not gonna happen)
Word of advice for you: never let older guys on because some might take advantage of your age and you might regret it. I'm not saying that you can't hang out with a 20 something guy, but just be careful
hmm just go for whatever you like its your choice what you want just be aware some older guys can take advantage of you by the way im 17 maybe we could get to know each other better?
My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time when we were both 14. It's crazy how things evolve and I know to some it's shocking hearing about 13/14/15 year olds having sex just as I'm shocked hearing of 10/12 year olds. But i'm not being judgemental, there comes a time for everyone. Over the course of my relationship with my boyfriend we worked our way up to many things. We never brought up the thought of sex untill about being together ten months and it was merely an accident. Anyways, we experimented started of with the oral [never once in my life did he "make" me give him oral] he just wanted to satisfy me. I remember one of the first few times he gave me oral i orgasmed and it felt amazing. The question as to when I finally had sex was when we were at about 1 year and four months, we talked about things we liked and disliked and making sure we were both comfortable. The night it happened we were both in the car, it didnt last more than ten minutes but it was because someone had walked out of the house we were parked in. It didnt hurt, Im guessing because the athletic theory (tampons/swimming) and the fingering. First time we tried lotus and it was beautiful. We conitinued our oral throughout the course of the months and haven't had an opporunity of sex until now which is about a year later from our first time, [im 15 now]. We were very mature about what we were doing talking about what ifs, plan b, condomns, if anything went wrong. I don't regret me decision. And im totally comfortable about my body just as he is with me. Just be careful with what your doing and make sure the other one feels something for you.
do orgasms really feel nice?
im scared. im 14 nearly 15. and me and my boyfriend talk about sex related things frequently..
and want to get the ball rolling in that department....
and i hear storys at school that orgasms hurt and you bleed alot, and therefore im really scared..
Love, i'm in the same boat, i'm your age. me and my boyfriend have talked about sex, and we agree we're both ready.
all i know i know from websites, and I know from my best friend who has done it already with her boyfriend, it hurts, depending.
you need to stretch the vaginal opening and he needs to get you tooootaallllyyyy wet before he even thinks about putting that penis in your vagina, k?
or else, yeah, it's gonna hurt.
and bleeding might occur, it might not, everyone's different.
it's when the Hymen is broken from penetration (Your friends might call this, Popping The Cherry?)
yeah it might bleed, it might not, but, as other websites and magazines say, it's not enough blood for use of a sanitary towel or a tampon.
when you do it, make sure you're totally comfortable with your surroundings, and you think it's right for you.
don't rush into it. your virginity is the biggest gift you could give anyone. and if this lad is THE one, and you're ready, then by all means. DO IT. :)
just be ready, chick.
<3 xxx
Sweetie, orgasms do not hurt...penetration might, depending.
Listen, if you are scared of sex, then you probably should look up stuff on it. Whenever you feel that you are ready then it's a decision that both of you must make.
But don't be, sex created you. It's meant to create. Also consider how long you two have been together...give it a year max before you jump into sex.
I'm a late person into the relationship game and I personally want to wait...I mean after you do have sex at your age, typically you want something past that...I hate to burst bubbles but sex is pretty much it...unless you want children.
I find it more fun to explore these things at an age where you can appreciate more, instead of jumping in because "everyone does it"
By the way, most first times...are regretable and awkward.
I won't judge. It is your choice, but make sure this becomes a mature issue.
-sensualGoddess
since i hit puberty at age 10 ive always been a horny little devil.. its sad that in nz you dont get sex ed before your 13 .. i always played out for guys and would lead them on right up until i was 13, this is when ilost my virginity.. and i sure do wish i still had it now ! i was with my boyfriend of 8 months at the time (he was 18), and i lied to him saying i had done it before.. but once we had had sex he knew it was my first time cos i had hurt him being so tight.- this happened on a bush walk.
over the next near 3 years i had 1 one night stand and 3 more serious relationships (one lasting a year). so i had slept with 5 people in 3 years.
but after that i was like on a killing spree with my "downthere". its now been 5 years since i lost my virginity.. bringing me to 18 years of age.. now im 18 and have had sex with 21 people. 21! in the last year and a half-two years (since my last serious relationship) ive had sex with 21-5=16 different men. which really is sad...to have sex with that many men in that short amount of time is not good in soo many ways. majorly for me its emotionally. it plays with your mental state and it doesnt teach you how to love and learn from mistakes because your kicking that guy out the door before he can put his jocks back on... therefore there is no emotional bond - and this is what i was avoiding.. and still am. afraid to be loved and love.my weeks were filled of what im doing on the weekend and who im gonna fuck. and that was wrong.
dont follow in my footsteps cos at the end of the day.. all of the last 5 years of my life revolving around sex has been a mistake..
alright so im 14 and one of my friends that ive liked for 2 years finally likes me.we've been talking and he wants to have sex with me.i really like him and he says he likes me alot too. we've both never done anything more than just make out and he wants me to be his first time. i kinda want to try it but idk. i dont know what do..
Okay Im a Virgin and so is my boyfriend... We have been dating for like 7 months and we think we are ready to devote to each other. I was wondering what would be like the best for us. He is about 10 inchs and I can fit 3-4 fingers in me.
Im just looking for some good advice on things we can do since we both have never done it before.
Please help!!!
it's your first time.. so make sure you are really wet.. because otherwise it will hurt a little..
just make sure you are completely comfortable and ready and then everything will go right :) good luck :)
The best thing you can do is to relax and make sure you have both talked it out. I hope that you arent only doing it because you guys are really horny and not ready. Anyway, for me the best thing was to start up with foreplay so that it wouldnt be as bad and then we just go with the flow.
Have Fun!
People reading my replies to previous comments may bitch at me for being consistent on this topic, but for all you virgins out there, I strongly recommend waiting until you're married to the guy you love. I got married to my husband about a month ago, and the six months of abstinence not only helped increase our love and respect for each other, but the release of all that sexual tension made our first time absolutely /incredible/! it was so special, so incredible, i doubt I'll ever forget it.
To me, virginity is a present you give to your husband, and vice-versa for him, at the "Christmas" which is your marriage. Because really, for us, we were like little kids eagerly waiting for Christmas xD
I can't stress enough the importance of communication dring your first time, do not ever be afraid to voice discomfort or fear, you always have the right to say "no" or "not yet" or to tell him to slow down. Walk each other through it; breaking the hymen is painful, when my husband broke mine I had to wait half an hour or more before I felt brave enough to try again. But once we got going, it was the most awesome experience of my whole life, the love and care between us magnified the pleasure and overall experience ^^
now we have sex almost every day and I love it xD
im tired having sex with my virgin girlfriend and im a virgin to. so i had my dick in her pussy and it went in like 1/2 of the way and wouldnt go any farther. it was like a hit a brick wall. is that normal
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