Anal Intercourse
There are many ways to enjoy the anus erotically. Some people enjoy the sensation of a finger inserted into their anal opening and gently rotated. Others may find the insertion of a sex toy or penis very arousing and stimulating. This section contains all the essential guidelines for enjoying anal intercourse.
Getting Started
Some people are not very open to experimentation with this body part, as they are scared that it will cause great amounts of pain, or the whole thought of it is grosses them out. In any event, make sure to communicate with your partner to avoid bad reactions. If your partner refuses, don’t try to force them, it will be a horrible experience for them (and ultimately for you) if they are not comfortable with the idea.
If you are trying to convince your partner to explore this world, using something as large as a penis is definitely not the way to get started. You should start by getting them comfortable being touched in the area, then move up to using a finger or two, and then, when ready, finally moving up to intercourse. Please refer to the anal fingering to please women, or prostate stimulation to please men sections to learn more about anal play, plus using anal sex toys and analingus. Until your partner is ready to receive, their anxieties will cause their anal sphincter to tighten, and trying to push through will be extremely painful, so be patient!
Cleanliness is essential with virtually all forms of this type of play. A bath or a shower is a great primer, and can be the start of the festivities. Once your penis or sex toy has been inside the rectum, don't put them inside anywhere else until you have washed them. Carelessness in this regard can cause a very serious infection. Make sure to use copious amounts of a good lubricant, and start as slowly as possible the first few times.
The Largest Misconceptions of Anal Intercourse
Most people believe that anal intercourse hurts and that it is always an uncomfortable experience. This is quite simply false. As with any form of intercourse, the anus, like the vagina, must become used to the activity. Any woman who remembers her first time having sex probably recalls a painful experience. In fact, the first couple of times were probably painful and not that enjoyable. Did they stop having sex? In almost all cases, they didn’t. Anal intercourse falls under the same guidelines for both genders; it takes practice to get accustomed to the activity. Pain is usually a sign that something is being performed incorrectly, not that the act is wrong. In most cases pain is due to a few reasons: the receiver is too tense and tightening, the giver is pushing too hard, there isn’t enough lubricant, or that the penis or toy is still too big to put in (based on current experience levels). Using fingers and smaller toys is the best way to get used to the feeling, and it is advised that you increase size a little at a time. Once you have become comfortable with the idea and concepts you will probably find it very pleasurable.
The 5 Major Guidelines
Always use a lubricant. Unlike the vagina, the small amount of mucus a rectum produces is completely insufficient for anal intercourse. Therefore anal penetration should always be accompanied with an ample supply of lubricant. Water-based lubricants are latex-compatible and highly recommended.
Stop immediately if your partner asks you to stop. If your partner is too tense to experiment, all forms of anal penetration will cause a great deal of pain. We are not saying to stop trying completely, just don’t push yourself onto your partner, as this will only result in a bad experience for them, and make them less willing to try again.
Take it slow. When experimenting with anal sex for the first few times, go slow. There is no rush and if you take your time you will probably both enjoy the experience. There should not be a great deal of forcing required. If lubricated properly, an object should slide in somewhat easily. We recommend using your fingers ahead of time to loosen them up first for the first few times.
Sufficient desire alone does not guarantee pleasurable anal sex. Read the other four points.
Always communicate with your partner. As with any sexual activity, communication is essential. Talk about what you want to do, discuss beforehand your desires, tell your partner what you like and don't like while engaging in anal intercourse. Basically, be open about your preferences and feelings, and, be receptive to theirs.
Understanding the Anus and the Rectum
A minority of men and women respond with orgasms to anal sex without direct genital stimulation. Women probably do so through pelvic muscle contractions - and a small minority through the sheer excitement of being penetrated anally. For men, an orgasm may be experienced because of pressure applied to the prostate gland. They are no doubt responding to indirect stimulation of the penile bulb. Orgasms from anal stimulation are most likely to occur when the participants become thoroughly absorbed in their sensations and fantasies.
The main function of the rectum is to act as a passageway for feces, but feces are not normally stored in the rectum except just prior to a bowel movement. Small amounts may remain in the rectum. This is one of the reasons that it is recommended to use condoms during anal intercourse.
The rectum is not straight - see the sexual anatomy diagrams. After the short anal canal that connects the anal opening to the rectum, the rectum tilts toward the front of the body, sometimes as much as 90 degrees. Then, after a few more inches, it swoops towards the front of the body again. A person can learn about the shape of his or her rectum by gently inserting a soft object, trying different angles and body positions and concentrating on how it feels. Make sure the object has a flared base so that if you lose your grip, it won't slip into the rectum and become temporarily irretrievable.
If you insert a finger about one half-inch into your anus and press your fingertip against the side, you can clearly feel the two sphincter muscles. There is less than a quarter-inch between them. The external sphincter is controlled by the central nervous system (voluntary), which means you can tense and relax this sphincter whenever you want. The internal sphincter is quite different. This muscle is controlled by the autonomic nervous system (involuntary). The internal sphincter reflects and responds to fear and anxiety. It may cause the anus to tense up automatically even if the person is trying to relax.
There is the risk of sphincter tone (tightness) loss over time due to repeated dilation for insertive intercourse. Stool incontinence (poor control) can occur when anal sphincter tone decreases; this problem has to be surgically corrected if it becomes chronic. This is another very good reason to take things slowly and to never force anal intercourse! Everyone's body has different levels of ability to adapt; if anal intercourse remains painful (or even very uncomfortable) then it is probably best avoided - remember, there are still many other ways to stimulate and enjoy the anal area without full intercourse.
Though it is always wise to practice the safest sex possible, this is especially true with anal intercourse. The lining of the rectum is very thin, and can rip if there is too much stress put on it. By wearing condoms, you can greatly reduce your and your partner’s chances of transmitting most STDs.
yep, I totally agree! if men really want to "convince" their partners that being open minded is all it takes to enjoy anal they should be prepared to experience it for themselves. The first time my fiancee penetrated me with a strap-on was incredibly liberating! not to mention a huge turn on and gave me an orgasm unlike any other up until that point in in my life.
remember guys! just becasue you like anal stimulus/penetration does not make you gay! and if you rule it out on that basis alone you're not a comfortable with your sexuality as you should be, plus you're missing out on some seriously powerful orgasms!
hi, i have tried it before and was very painful and embaressing was with my bf a few years ago, he was my first guy that i had slept with, and i was forced into it, it was very very painfull for me even though he was very very small. me n my current partner have discussed trying it, and i am open to it, and i know it may still hurt a little 1st few even though we will follow all the guideliness.. what i am worried about is, i know what comes out of that area, how do you prevent it fron doing that, as i know if some comes out on the condon ect i will feel so ashamed and embaressed it may prevent me from doing it again weather i enjoy it or not, and id feel my partner may feel discusted even though he may say not to worry, but saying that so he doesnt hurt me feelings.
what do i do?
There are several options open to you:
1) how do you prevent it from coming out? you can make sure you time your first try right, try going to the toilet a good couple of hours beforehand, a high fibre diet will help as will a thorough clean (try warming up together in the shower and this will involve inserting a soapy it help with cleansing), failing that you can always try an enema.
2) if it does come out on the condom, accept it, you both knew it could happen, if it does don't worry it's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, you know what is back there but try focussing on what you're really going back there for, lots of very sensitive nerve endings that can open up a whole new world of pleasure (for the both of you, as it has for me a my fiancee!)
3) HOw do you stop being embarrassed? when he says "don't worry about it" or "It's OK" you're just going to have to TRUST him that he's ok with it (if he's not, he probably won't want to retry). After all the act of anal sex involves an incredible amount of trust on your part already, so a little bit more when he says "it's ok" or "don't worry" shouldn't be too difficult.
Remember, experimentation involves trial AND Error, accept them, learn from them and ENJOY them, the more fun sex is, the more enjoyable it is!
hope this helps
Spud
i have anal sex with my gf alot now and she LOVES it. But we like it without a condom and it seems to stay lubed more when i dont wear one. My question is if something bad can happen from this. i usually pee after whenn i cum and when i dont.
my boyfriend and i tried this. it was extremly painful for me i followed all the guidelines and he did as well. what are we doing wrong?
Are you sure your completely relaxed? It will hurt if your not fully relaxed and comfortable, because, like mentioned, your sphincter(s) tighten up, so it is hard to feel pleasure.. if you try again, make sure your fully comfortable and relaxed, and take it very slow... It does take a bit to ease up to.
it actually worked i got relaxed enough i think that was the problem. now he wants more lol
I was wondering exactly how much lube to use? My girl has a very tight ass and does not loosen up much. When i apply the lube my dick just slides all over the place and wnt penetraTE. am i using way to much lube. any info would be appreciated.
theres no such thing as to much lube. just relax and focus on your aim.
there is no such thing as too much lube!! always remember that. also try loosening up you're partners sphincters with an increasing number of fingers, i have to build up to 3 fingers inserted to the second knuckle for me to enter comfortably.
try different positions and use your thumb to kinda guide it in i do this all the time to keep from sliding in her vagina. LOTS of lube is good!
Position yourself and help it slide in.. you need alot of lube with the anus because of how 'fragile' it is.
What happens if you ejaculate in her anus? I've only had sex once, and we did Anal a lot but I pulled out when I was close to climax. Does it pose negative affects? Does it come back out?
It can cause irritation in the anus, so you may want to be careful about that.
If you have anal sex without a condom and ejaculate inside her could that cause any problems for the female?
ive never had a problem
do you have anal sex without a condom alot?
im wondering if its helpful to inject some oil to my gf s anus would it help to have easier anal intercourse???
i love it, i'm a bi and i love it both ways anytime anyplace. i'm swing by nature and dont believe in managomy, wish there were more of me out there, men and women. so much fun 2 be had as long as the powerdynamic of sex doesnt pull into the real world, like just cause u fuck me in the ass while i give ur gf face doesnt me ur better than me. ya know?
well if ur ever in aruba hit me up
I've done this with my bf and the first time we did it he used a lot of lotion and I was layin on my stomach and it didn't hurt at all, but now he always wants me bent over and doesn't use any kind of lube and it doesn't always hurt but it turns me on up until he actually gets it in. And sometimes it makes me feel like I have to poop but I don't. Anyone know what that's about?
Is it bad if i have anal sex with my gf without a condom? Im the only guy she has been with. She just doesnt like anal with a condom because the rubber drys her out and makes it hurt.
mmm, i love it in the booty, i think it really turns my hubby on and then it turns me on 2. i just think the only problem is that you don't really have much control over it, as opposed to giving him a bj...
how do I bring up the suggestion of anal to my wife when she tells me she dosnt want too?
Do it the same way i did, try talking to her about it, ask her why she doesn't want to do anal, perhaps she had a bad/painful experience with a previous partner (if there was one).
Explain to her that it's something you are really turned on by and would very much like to try. she might (like my fiancee) want to know where where your desire to try anal came from (for me it was watching porn and seeing women enjoy anal sex greatly, i wanted my fiancee to enjoy it that much too). it took almost 6 months of "prep" (using a finger or 2 at a time, getting her used to having something "back there") for her to be able to take my cock in her arse.
also try taping some programs like Sex: how to do everything or try buying a specific help DVD that you can both sit down a watch together.
if she agrees to try keep re-assuring her that it's at her pace, provided you're paitent you should have plenty of fun anal adventures ahead of you.
hope this helps
Spud
Ok so one night I was at a party at my friends house and my ex girlfriend who I still have sex with was there. Me and her and few other friends were in the pool. After awhile everyone got out of the pool except for me and her. We then started to have sex write there in the pool it was amazing. After having vaginal sex for awhile I started rubbing her asshole and asked if she wanted to try anal. She said no at first and told me to stop playing with her ass. I was persistent and told her it would feel good and stuck my finger up her ass and I could tell she was getting aroused because her ass was getting wet. She was reluctant but I turned her around in the pool and started fucking her ass. I fucked her hard in the ass for about 5 minutes and she told me to stop. I listened right away and continued fucking her vagina again. Soon after that our friends came over so we had to stop. Then we got out of the pool and went back into the woods. I immediately bent her over against a tree and fucked her from behind. I started fingering her ass and asked if we could do it again she said yes but only for a little. I stuck it in and began pounding my cock deep in her ass she moaned louder than I have ever heard her. I kept fucking her until I shot my load deep in her ass. We talked about it a couple days after and she said it didn't hurt at all an he wanted to try it again. It was one of the best nights fucking I ever had
I read a bunch of the comments and I think my little story may help some of you girls.
I have for a while been slightly interested in anal. I am a curious person, you see. BUT I feared the pain and maybe going number two or something while doing it (how embarrassing >.<). SO! Rather than calling up my boyfriend and trying to convince him to try it with me. I thought I should experiment with myself a little first. Work out all the kinks and such so I would be able to tell him want to do. :)
I started with my normal masturbation routine BUT I just got myself really horny rather than letting myself finish. With my rabbit still buzzing away, I slowly slid this smaller vibe (a 4 1/2 inch "personal massager" small ones are good to have around ;D) in to my ass w/o it on vibrate. I let it sit there a little getting used to the feeling. Then I turned up the vibration. Once on full and with me pulling it in and out, I orgasmed in a new and amazing way. Now I am TOTALLY wanting to try anal. My bf is really into pleasuring me so maybe if he knew I liked it he would totally be game? x] Maybe he would be okay if I put the little dildo just in my ass while he is in my pussy? Or maybe I could masturbate in my new way in front of him so he could see how much I like it? So many new ideas! teehee
I hope this might help :) OH! but make sure you WASH all items that were in or around your ass lol
My gf surprised me by saying that she is highly interested in having anal sex. this is new (and extremely exciting )to me. Any suggestions to make it go smoothly?
LOTS of lube!!! Got slow.
Me n my girl are getting there when it comes to anal, just going slow.
Just one question tho, does it feel good,for both, coz i know that its tighter, so its good for guys, but what does it feel like? And is it good for the girl, i wona makesure that its grate for her too.
if you're that curious why not try it yourself!!!! that's one of the ways i convinced my fiancee to try it. if you're open minded and get a male specific anal toy (prostate massager) you might find like me that you'll have some of the most powerful orgasms you've ever had.
me and my girl have anal atleast once every 2-1 week, and yeah bro its amazing. i still prefer it in the vagina though. but yeah take it super slo and make sure she relaxs if she is tense or stressed out she gets tighter and it hurts her more, tell her to breath and just relax as much as possible.
What kind and type of lubricant should a person use with anal sex? I know the article suggests water based lube but there are many types of water based lubes available.
K-Y is the best
Pay attention to that region and lay a finger tip on the anus the muscles will loosen. Use lots of lubrication. The time will come and then insert a finger and or object slowly until they are ready. more lubrication then in and out slowly more lubrication then slowly work it and more lubrication. then as it loosens go to town.
i have always been a very sexual person. i have been open to almost anything and everything my whole sexual life. anal was something i struggled with though at first it always hurt too much n i would get discouraged n give up but a year ago i met my current boyfriend and me and him have mastered anal as well as double penetration girls anal is great u just have to be really aroused and very relaxed guys start by playing around the anus rubbing it and rim jobs are even better then finger her gently until she doesnt feel uncomfortable any more then move up tp 2 fingers then three n then move on to the real thing now guys remember go slow get the head in and if it still hurts her rub her clit as u ease it in dirty talks helps as well with the arousal thing girls i love anal i never have better orgasms then with anal sex now each time it gets easier to get in and the wait time is more and more short eachtime guys so jus be patient cuz as far as my bf says its soooo worth the wait.
so me and my boyfriend just starting this anal sex and still are in the beginning stages of it..one night while trying to do it, with me recieving it on top sitting up while hes laying down, shit started coming out of my ass and smeared onto my leg and was everywhere. It smelt so bad and reaked I was so embarassed but didnt tell him and I couldnt continue on after that. After trying it the next day the same thing happened. Now this never happened before in prior months when we tried to do it but can someone please give me tips or advice on when to have anal sex because I dont want this to keep happening, the smell is a big turn off for me!!!! I hope Im not the only one this has happened to before..hoping to get some responses
dont worry it happended to me too wat i did was i timed how long after i ate it took me to go poop the heavier the meal the longer it takes to come out the other end i recomend u do this take one day and time after each meal how long it takes to come out so that way u have a general idea also i jus dont eat some times lol also laxatives before hand are a good idea. u can also by enimas at ur local drugstore those things clean u out good.
i luv anal sex its da bomb i luv to feel my boo's dick inside me he knows how to BEAT IT UP!!
My gf thinks anal sex will hurt and won't let me do it. How can I convince her to try anal sex
My girlfriend is the same way bud. I don't push her but sometimes ill just ask if we can and she says no but try talking to her about it. I always play with her ass and try to get her used to the feeling and she has. Just talk to her about it and just be touche with her ass sometimes and see how she reacts.
Well first time i ever tried anal was when i was 17. I said never again would i do it. Just on the surface it hurt. First real anal was with my husband, it did hurt at first. We have been doing this for 10 years now off and on, but almost every time we use some kind of lube. It still stings a little bit when we start. The trick is to get past a certain point on his dick, then once past that it slides right in. I dont mind puttin up with a little pressure at first, casue after it feels great. Its so deep and it turns him on alot. Im all about pleasing him.
i cant get my gf let me anal she just let use my finger and thats it, i tryed more and once but it wouldnt get even with lube on. how do i get her to let me in with out hurting her ?
any help pls
well i have tried anal with my gf. but we had not talked about it before we actually did it. we were just drunk one night and i started fingering her anus, and she loved it. it just went from there. if she is in the right mood she will give in.
I really wnt to try anal with my gf, but i dont wanttopressure her and hurt her. She's really thinking bout it, and its only relly goign to be a matte of time lol. Well i kinda tryed it, i was wanking one night with lub, and i thorght i'd give it ago, soput more lub on my hands n gve it ago. And i really hated it, kinda felt like i needed a toliet relly bad. And because i didnt like it i feel bad if i ask my gf to do it =/
i got a question i got my gf to try anal once but it was for like 2 seconds not even that long nd i cant get her to try it again. but yeah my question how do i get her to actually try it?
so my boyfriend and i have tried anal a few times now, and I've almost always enjoyed it. but I've noticed that whenever i'm in a position where i'm not facing him it ends up hurting a lot. i think this is because his penis has a slight (but still rather defined) curve in his penis pointing towards his stomach.
is there any way to get comfortable doing it facing away from him?
Me and my boyfriend do this and at first I had the same problem. But I reliezed if I get in the doggy style postition and lay my chest down and slightly tilt my butt up it doesn't hurt. My boyfriend also will lay down onto my back and kiss me. It's the most amazing feeling.
So me and my gf have been working on anal for a while, about 6 months. The reason it took so long is because at first she was extremely uncomfortable with it. Mostly because she had a bad experience with a guy who didn't care. So I had her read this and it must have got her thinking. So about six months ago I asked her about it, if she would be willing to experiment. She was still very unsure about it after reading this article. The next time we did stuff (after this article) I asked her if it would be okay, she said yes. So i started off going around the rim with my finger, no penetration, and carried with this for a while. I started to insert just the tip of my finger and she did not like that. She was very uncomfortable with it. So i waited a few more times and started doing stuff again. I found out she was still not comfortable with penetration. This went on for about a month and a half. Then she admitted she liked anal every once in a while and said that she though she might like more. After that she allowed me to penetrate her with a finger in her anus. but that was about it. And only every once in a while. I found she had to be extremely aroused to enjoy it. So after a long while with just a finger, I asked her if she would like to go more. She was unsure about me using my penis. So about 2 months ago I started going around her anus with just my head, no penetration, but only after she was comfortable with my finger in her anus. A few nights ago we were playing around a bit and started having sex. We had been going with the activity for a while and then I started rubbing my head against her anus and she was extremely aroused by it. I got her loosened up with my finger and then penetrated her with just tip of my penis. i asked her if she was uncomfortable with it and she said no. She said she really like it and wanted more so I started having anal sex with her. she was really turned on by it and found a lot of pleasure in the naughty feeling she got from it. So we tried it again tonight and she is really enjoying the feeling. Now she wants to get an anal toy to add to her collection. We bought a vibrator earlier tonight and she later admitted, after sex, that she had fantasized about me giving her anal with the vibrator working the other stuff. So obviously we are going to try this sometime soon. I wanted to share this story because there are a lot of guys who want to have anal sex but their girlfriends are uncomfortable with it. The lesson: go extremely slow. DO NOT push her limits and be very very patient with her. It will eventually pay off and who knows, you both might find out she loves anal sex, though may be uncomfortable with it now.
Just want to say that it's so great you care about your girlfriend like that to wait so long for something you personally really want. She's lucky to have a guy like you.
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