Her First Time
Most women are naturally a bit afraid of their first time having sex. Will I enjoy it? Will it hurt? Will I satisfy my man? Is he the right one? These are all questions that most women think about before their first time. The truth is that your first few times having sex will not be remembered as your best sex ever. Most women agree that the first time often hurts a little, is uncomfortable, and is often very clumsy. Once you get passed the first few times, you will start enjoying all the pleasures that this type of intimacy has to offer.
Being Ready
The first thing to consider is the person you are with. You want your first time to be with someone you really care for and that really cares for you in return. Since sex will most likely be not that great the first few times, the person you are with is what you’ll want to remember. Many women often rush into sex before they are ready because their friends are doing it or because their boyfriend is expecting it. Neither of these should be a part of your reason, there is no correct amount of time to wait; you just want to make sure that you will not regret the decision later.
A few questions you can ask yourself are: Do I trust my partner with my life? Can I see myself having a long relationship with this person? Is he pressuring me? Is having sex for me, or for someone else?
Although everyone has anxieties, if you don’t feel you are completely ready, wait. If the guy you are with really cares for you enough, he will understand that this is a big decision, and you don’t want to rush it. You do not want to give it up to a guy who is worried more about his stature with his friends then your feelings.
Tips
- Choose a place where you feel safe and comfortable, your bedroom may be the best place.
- Choose a secure time when roommates / parents / friends won't come barging in.
- Gain some experience ahead of time. You want to have explored foreplay for quite awhile before you take the plunge. Having a good understanding of how your and his body works as well as having played together will take away much of the tension. Make sure that you feel 100% comfortable in the nude with the lights on, as having sex will be much more intimate then looking at each other.
- Communication is the most important thing in a sexual relationship. Make sure to talk about doing it ahead of time to make sure that you are both thinking the same thing. Getting the topic out in the open allows you to become more comfortable with the topic.
- Most women feel pain during intercourse the first few times because they aren’t used to having an object penetrating them. This can be reduced dramatically through fingering. Whether you finger yourself or your partner fingers you, stretching out your vaginal opening will definitely improve the experience.
- Feel free to say stop when ever you want, whether you haven’t started, are starting, or are well under way. It may be because you are getting cold feet, or something about the situation feels wrong, the reason can be whatever you want, just make sure the person you are with will honor your wishes.
- Excessive dryness of the vagina can be a problem, especially when nervous of the first time experience of intercourse. Although lubricant will not stop all the pain, it will definitely decrease it to some extent. K-Y Jelly is most often recommended, and it can be purchased in our online store.
- There are a few positions that are really good for starting out, depending on your concerns. If you want to be in control, then we suggest having your partner lie on his back, and you can straddle him “cow girl style”. If you would rather be on the bottom, the missionary position is probably the best way to start.
- If your partner has erection difficulties, or ejaculates prematurely - either of which often happens the first few times - be supportive. This can be one of the most embarrassing things that can happen to a young man, and if not dealt with properly, can result in ongoing problems. If erection problems do happen, try to stimulate him a little, and take some time before you try to put it in again.
- The most important thing you need to know is to practice safe sex by using protection. Whether it be to protect you from pregnancy, or to prevent contracting STDs, you want to protect yourself to the fullest extent. Until you have been with your partner to get checked for STDs, and you are on other birth control, there is no excuse for not using protection. Just because there is no excuse not to use them doesn’t mean that guys will do everything they can to get away from them, and be prepared to hear everything from it makes me go limp, to it takes away from the pleasure, to they were sold out. You can buy condoms at most pharmacies, or order them online from our online store.
Remember, this experience should be an extremely special and intimate time for both partners. Good luck, and remember, the best sex happens with people you care greatly about.
you got to be hard?
Um Tbh i don't thinkk you were hard enough :/
my first time was in a catholic church...... Don't ask, his penis was so tiny but it hurt like hell... When I went to the gyno to get checked up I was all clean but that thing they put up there oh my god! That hurt so freakin BAD! I was crying through it for half an hour. The sad part is that the gyno was very very hot. I really wish he was my first...
His cock was 2 inches long... I shit you not! And I said no right before he stuck it in there... I was really wasted, don't be like me kids. No means No kick that bitch in the head and run.
Well me and this was really in love.I really thought he was the one. I joked about it and and he lafted and he was like i am not touching you until you 16. Witch showed how mutch her loved me and respected me. My mate she had lost her V and she now says she wish she has waited beacsue it was with a a
stupied lad well let me put it srtight was A MAN SLAG.
Cut along story short
I Told the lad i wanted to do it beaucse i loved him and he was the 1 (and still is) so we waited until the house was empty and we was in my bedroom watching a dvd. and we just started kissing and he was laid on top of me. And then he wisperd in my ear sayin do you want to and i said yes. So he slapped his jhonny on and eveything.
but if you dont feel comfortable takin your pants of then this is wht i did wear a pare of thongs witch you can easily pull to the side. it works that what i did people say it dunt hert but i tell you it did its a pain you crnt explain and you bleed alot so always make sure you do it in ur house never in his and take your bed sheets of beacuse you bleed do be extrer safe. . .
hey i waited till i was 19 before i had sex for the first time and the guy i;m with waited for over 4 months for me to be ready. it didn;t hurt when i did it for the first time i don't know if it was because i was relaxed or wether its because the skin on the inside of my virgina was already broken from being fingered but it was comfortable and stress free for me From Kyrie
My girlfriend and I have been going out for a while now, and we've been trying to have sex for a while now, but my penis doesn't fit. It's too wide, according to her.... what do I do?
lots of lube and usually fingering really works it stretches her out alittle bit dont worry she wont stay like that after lol it just loosens her up to get her going if shes never really been stimulated like that before you guys do it.. it will hurt her i know i had the same problem with my bf but forplay is the ultimate answer and dont forget the lube ;)
god luck...
I am 17 years old, almost 18 and I am seeing this guy and I think I am ready to have sex, but since we aren't officially together I question whether I should go for it. I have spent alot of time contemplating this decision and keep going back and forth. any advice or suggestions on how I can solve this dilemma?
honestlythe best and only answer anyone can give is that you should only do it if you know that you are really ready and that you wont regret it at all because if you do do it and you regret it then sex really wont be the same...
i am 13 years old. i lost my virginity when i was 12 years old. it was with 17 year old guy. that i have no feelings for.i still continue to seee him.i give him amzing blowjobs but she doesnt preform oral sex on me as well as i do to him.but he fingers amazingly. we hide it from everyone other than our friends. see idont want anyone knowing because he is my best friends brother. and if she finds out. my whole life is ruined. what should i do??
Im 13 to....I know this sounds wrong but what the hell were you thinking?
i'm 18 years old and i think that 12 is way too young to even be thinking about sex. if you have no feelings for him them why are you still having sex with him?? if she's really your best friend then you'll stop this thing with her brother. if you value your friendship with her then you might wanna think about what you would be doing to her if she found out. think about it......message me if you want anymore advice.
Hi, i read your comment. I was the same really i lost my v when i was 13. i suggest stop seeing the guy beacuse at end of the dy keep you friends closer than your boyfriend
I'm a 19 year old female and i have been with my boyfriend for 4 months 3 weeks and 2 days he waited over 4 months for me to be ready and always told me that he wouldn't do anything i didn;t want him to. so when it came to my first time i felt comfortable, relaxed and i knew i could trust him to be gentle with me we used a condom and i am on the pill because of my periods not being regular due to having polycystic ovarian syndrome and it didn;t hurt one bit i had done foreplay with him and boyfriends before him so i think that may of helped to but i enjoyed my first time alot because he already had expirience he made it special and magical for me i couldn't of asked for a better first time.
i need some advice. i'll be 23 in january and im still a virgin!!! i feel pathetic!!!
i dont think something is wrong with me, i know i ahvent found the right person yet, and my freinds assure me im not misisng out and that i have to wait for the right person and that is has to be o the basis of care and love.
but i mean....23?? am i pathetic?? :(
i dont wanna be an old virgin!!!!!
HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm 23 too and I was a virgin until I married my husband a little over a month ago xD
you just need to find the right guy, although, speaking from experience, saving your first ever orgasm or just sexual encounter until marriage is DEFINITELY worth it. you don't need to have sex to find a boyfriend, in fact, for me, avoiding sex with my fiance gave us a deeper respect for each other, and made the first time absolutely /wonderful/.
I've found that it's like renewing our wedding vows, every time we make love, we're literally "making love", saying "i do!" all over again. it really enhances the pleasure, feeling that deeper and more profound love during sex.
It also feels even better knowing that he belongs to me and I to him, feels kinda kinky xD
anyway, no, you're definitely not pathetic, and yes, definitely wait for care and love. I've had just plain sex with my husband once or twice, even if we both go all out it's just not nearly as gratfying as a loving coupling.
You are not pathetic.
You just haven't founf the right person to have a sexual encounter with.
Be patient,it will happen.
Hey take your time don't rush into anything. The guy you share that moment with my turn out not to be an angle. I was 22 when my first time and I know exactly how you feel. Find someone who will appreciate what your giving them and who will take there time allowing to enjoy the moment.
ok so theres this guy thats been after me for a while. ive known him 4 3 years but he hasnt like wanted me till this summer. I dont want a boyfriend and he dosnt want a girlfriend. We wana mess around but we r both virgins. i dont kno if we shud or not. I dont want a bf/gf relationship but i want him. wat shud i do?
don't. speaking from experience, sex is FAR more satisfying if it's on a basis of love and care. I didn't have sex with my boyfriend until we married, and the abstinence really made our first time all the more worth the wait.
not to sound preachy but virginity is like a present meant to be "opened" by the one you want to spend your life with ;)
if you're not looking for a relationship...I don't condone masturbation but you should stick with that. I can't decide for you though, I'm just hoping something I've said here will help. don't just use sex for fun, or else it loses its special quality and becomes as mundane as running or playing a game.
I say go for it as long as he cares about you and you are both ready. :]
i agree. =]]
my boyfriend and i are waiting 'til we hit one year. we both know that we're never going to want anyone else (we're a perfect match!) but both of us are virgins so we're both kinda freaked out.
we're gonna be smart (i'm going on the pill anyway to even out my cycle & we're gonna use a condom) but i'm still freaked as to how much its gonna hurt. i'm a bit of a masochist and have dealt with much more pain than my 1st could be (i've broken more bones than i want to list - i'm a massive klutz)
by then i'll be 18 and he'll be 19 (he's 8 months older than me)
well...I don't condone premarital sex, even if you know you're soulmates. I can't make you do anything, but as I've said in previous replies, I speak from experience when I say that waiting until marriage is definitely worth it. the abstinence gives you both more respect for each other, as impossible as it may seem. it's like waiting until Christmas, only you know what the present is ;) xD
and y'know, you're not supposed to open presents before the due date xD
As for the pain...I freaked out too just before we got married, because it suddeny hit me that it would hurt a lot. and it did ><
but my husband talked me through it, bless him he's so sweet, and it was awesome after that pain. I had to wait for about half an hour though, I was kinda scared, but after that pain his next penetration felt /incredible/ and we went for hours!
make sure you let your boy know what you're feeling, and make sure that if something hurts, TELL HIM right away. Don't worry about hurting him; if he really cares for you, it'll hurt him more to know that he hurt you and continued than if you stop him and ask to hold off or wait. Communication is key for first times.
I waited till I was 18 when my bf & I lost it to each other. We were together almost a yr and a half before we lost our virginity to each other (Going on 3 yrs on fri) since I wanted to wait till I was 18 years old. Just take it slow (in the beginning at least ;))& really communicate with each other. & if ur a masochist like I am, u'll be just fine. & good luck to the both of u! =)
I'm a virgin and have always heard that guys LOVE virgins because their "tight" vaginas feel AMAZING on their penises. Is this true? Do they prefer this to "loose" vaginas?
me and my bf ar planning 2 have sex 4 the first time on sunday, im REALLY scared. hes has lots of experence and im still a vigin, also hes a lot older than me. hes fingered me before and somtimes i finger myself cuz i herd that it should help with the pain ur first time. but when he fingeres me it really hurts! and im not shure how big he is. if any one has other suggestions... plz help!!
here's my advise
DON'T PLAN YOUR FIRST TIME.
you'll get even more scared. trust me.
i planned my first time, and getting all worked up over it, it never happened. DON'T PLAN IT.
and if you're REALLY scared, should you even be thinking about sex?
if you're scared.....do you really think you're ready??
im sure youll be fine! itll hurt a little at first but im sure youll get into it. just tell him to go easy on you.
hey. i had my bf over today. we had some fun. i had nothing on and he had his shirt off and i could see him down their. he really had fun with me down their with his hands. he rubed me and i was so wet. i told him to go in with a finger and it felt ssooo good. he continued with that while rubing my brests with the other hand. i was moaning like crazy. the thing is, we want to have sex in the future. we really love eachother. we are also in are first relationship together. we r at a legal age to have sex. we are usually in my room and no one ever comes up to it but me and him. we have no way of geting protection for him and we really dont want to get introuble or have our parents find out. what can we do to get protection for him withought eneyone knowing? please help me.
So how old are u? if u can drive awnsers obvios: go getem ur self. If not im guessing u have money right? ask ur mom to take u 2 the store for tampons or sumthin like that. tell her ull only b a sec (ull pay). bye tampons and condoms. put the condoms in ur purse. easy breasy hun. Altho i do sugest being honest w/ u parents. they might be understanding.
Well now that was a long time ago. WOW. Im glad that loser dumped me. He was an ass hole. Im just glad I didnt lose my virginity to him. Im with someone new and first day we started dating I said I want to wait atleast a month before I thought about sex because all 15 of his ex gfs he has had sex with. Oh and he has never taken a girls virginity before. And now that my bday is very soon we are planing on him taking mine then. That night when we camp outside my bday night. (Legal age and all) I'm scared alittle but I know its normal. Luckly this guy can get what we need. Hehe.
I remember when i was with my ex, and we chatted about sex alot, but never had sex. I was glad we didnt because i love the guy im with now with all my heart, and i told so many people id never have sex with someone unless i felt totally sure, trusted this person with my life and loved them! I'm 18 since a week ago and we had sex about a month and a half ago. So we where both 17, and everytime we have sex its not all about him, but about if im okay while we are having sex. He also doesnt presure me to have sex again and again, but he understands how since being on the pill ( i want to be safe :D ) my emotions and wanting for sex has gone loopy untill im sured to the pill!
i'm fourteen , my boyfriend is 15 . he's had sex with seven girls . we talk bout doing it, but i'ma lil sly. i'm still a virgin . i don't wanna seem unexperienced . he's a big freak. he likes sexting / phone sex / oral , ect . i'm so not like that , but i feel like i love him, theres something about him that really has me hooked . should i do it with him or waait ?
do what your heart tells you. if he is 15 and has been with that many girls... something is wrong. guys who start out that early dont respect women.. and he aparently needs that kinda stuff. im 15 and my boyfriend is 18, we were both virgins and had been dating for 6 months before we had sex. the best thing i can tell you is wait. sex is great and all.. but its soo much better with someone who is on the same page as you.. and that guy will come around soon. just wait it out girl.
i agree, at least if you wait there is more of a chance of finding out if he's with you for sex or because he likes you. it's better to stay a virgin than to lose your virginity and it not mean anything to the other person.
Okay, so im 16. I'm no longer a virgin. I lost it when i was 14 to this asshole who i thought i loved. I regret it. But now im with this sweet kid who i love to death and he loves me. We've decided after dating for almost a year we're ready. Thing is its his first time, my second. (Thankfully i only did it once with the ass[my ex] before we broke up). See, my first time i felt nothing, nada, ZIP! No pain nothing. NO pleasure. I felt something inside and that was it. It was the same when he fingered me, and played with my boobs (nips mostly). I felt him but i got no pleasant feeling from it. I'm afraid that with my current guy that i won't be able to feel anything. He's the first guy im physically, emotionally, and sexually attracted to. When he fingers, i feel slight pleasure but not as much as most do, and sometimes i dont even feel that hes sucking my nips. I dont know what it is. THere are certain moments where i can feel things and then there arent. I really want to be able to feel him, and the whole experience. I dont know whats wrong, but i wanted to know if that happens sometimes?
P.S i have discussed this with him, and i even told him that maybe then i was too loose, or it may be that damage from an incident from my past might contribute to it, and hes more than willing to do everything he can to help but we're at a loss.
Email me at Beeniebopper12@comcast.net
My gf and i are 15 and she is still a virgin, she isn't sure about sex and i totally understand if she wants to wait, but i think, she thinks, she needs to have sex to stay with me; which is TOTALLY not true. I love her and i need to talk to her. :)
hey. im 13 and my bf is 14. we both hav conflicts. we want 2 hav sex but then people tell us 2 wait. so we want both. r we 2 young? we really love each other even if that sounds like crap 2 u guys. we hav text sex all the time and by the way it sounds hes very expiericed which kinda worried me. he is my second real bf and i really love him and i only want him. we live far away from each other which sucks. im in texas and hes in washington state cuz my dad and i had 2 move cuz of his job. my bf is coming 2 see me in august and he wants 2 hav sex. i said no and he understands but he wants 2 at least f*ck my ass. ive tried with a toy and it hurts like hell. how do i tell him no?
if it's not too late WAIT!! you are too young to be having sex all ready! be proud that you are a virgin. there are too many girls out there that are having illegal or premature sex. your guy needs to know that you are not ready. a real man would wait, and he shouldnt be having sex either! WAIT!
im 14....there is a guy that wants to have sex with me and i really want to have sex but i dont want to be seen as a slut...i dont really like the guy either but i just want sex i sound awful but i just dont know what to do no other guy wants to do stuff with me,
i ttly get where ur coming from. i mean i like the guy and all, but i realy feel like a slut cuz i realy want 2 fuck him but i kno he dosnt want a realationship and realy i dont ether.
It is natural to want sex. If you dont like the guy, dont do it with him. If you really want to do it, i cant stop you, but do it with someone you like and likes you back.
My first time I was 18 and a half (im 20 now) and I was kinda friends with guy, and one thing lead to another, but I did regret it alittle bit, because I felt like I needed to wait til marriage. Although I dont regret it at the same time because we still talk we're still friends... Ive slept with other guys, have a boyfriend now, but we're waiting to have sex. We're pretty sure we're going to get married someday and waiting til then is better. Most of you girls who are 14, 15,16 and thinking about sex shouldnt. Its not worth it, and complicates things more than you can think of. Just wait. Its not that big of a deal.
i must agree...i myself waited till i was 21 and a half for my first time and the reason being was i wanted to make sure i was ready for it. Fortunately, i waited long enough and CANNOT imagine being 13,14, or 15 and having sex. My first experience was with the right guy who treated me with caution and was careful not to hurt me and i cant imagine a 15 year old BOY be able to have that maturity level.
I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH YOU! i am waiting until i get married, because that is how i was raised. I am tired of seeing all these 13 or 14 year olds saying how they are no longer virgins or want to loose their virginity. i wish they had enough sense to wait. =(
I'm 15, I can not even begin to understand how some of my friends lost it at ages 13, 12 and 11. Some for the wrong reasons and some thought they were ready and then afterwards realized they were not. Very few dated the ones they lost it to for years... kind of like puppy love maturing and so on. Back to my first thought. I have a boyfriend and we have been together for alittle more then a year. Have we talked about sex? Of course. Have we engaged in sexual acts? Of course. We have gotten very close to having sex.(Clothes off and etc when we both decided to wait, the moment was not right.) I feel that me and this guy will be together forever. I realize it sounds like the typical teenage love theme and so on. But my point is that maturity cans in all ages. 15 more mature then 30 year olds and so on. Long story short I hate when people say just because their that age they are not thinking clearly, they are only thinking this way an so on. I know that when my boyfriend and I decide to have sex it will be special and that he will be gentle.(We've talked about it, the last thing he wants to do is hurt me.)I kind of strayed from what I what trying to put into words. But that is just how I work, I guess. I'm sorry for any doltish typos on my part.
okay im 16 and im a virgin ive been with my boyfriend for a year and a month and hes 21 everyone says that hes to old for me but i say age is just a number and who cares as long as we love each other but im ready to have sex but im terrified..about everything and my parents and where were going to do it and first of all i have low self esteem adn im wondering that since in 16 im probably different from the other girls hes been with..help me i need advice<3
Pages