Hey guys, Im extremely nervous about tomorrow. My gf and I have been together for sometime now and we decided to take it to the next level. I have literally read EVERY article on this about sex to foreplay to g-spot.
Its not her first time having sex, but we have dry humped before and she said i am extremely better than her exs from positions and techniques(as in picking and holding her up against the wall and well, hump.)
So anyway i guess im not a virgin either but with my exs we have done it but i didnt feel anything, i dont know why. I couldnt tell if it was in her or not there was no sensation AT ALL in my penis(I didnt even have a condom on, but tomorrow i will be using one for the first time.) When i masturbate its fine but i felt nothing when we did "it."
So Anyways i want to make tomorrow extremely romantic for us. i have candles and everything ready. I also found out my gf can squirt ALOT!!! I told her that i find that to be super super hot and attractive and to let it out when she has the feeling to pee. Which brings me to my concerns. What exactly is sex supposed to feel like? Like what are the sensations supposed to feel like when putting your dick in and out? lol. Also i made a booklet out of ALL the sex positions on this wonderful site. She wants to look at it on the car ride to my house lol.
Also how long does sex usually last, Im also really worried that im going to
go limp. When we were dry humping on saturday we both were REALLY horny. But then all of a sudden it just went limp. Idk y i was still super horny. Im really scared that it will happen again.
Last thing, i have the shades closed, candles and music. For music im playing the Elder scrolls V:skyrim soundtrack. But only the ones that are romantic and tantalizing(which is mostly all of it). im actually lying in my bed with all this stuff ready and it really feels like im in a really romantic movie with this beautiful music. The soundtrack itself is over 3 hrs long.
oh and also i told her about the aqua sex article on here and she wants to take a shower together when were done having sex.
We'll have to wait for one of the guys to come in to talk about how it actually feels for a guy.
But in the meantime; yes, you may likely go limp or come early. But what you need to realise is that this is FINE! It's caused by your own anxiety and it's nothing to be ashamed of. You're allowed to be nervous with a new partner. It is only the first of many sessions you will have to perfect your technique together. Don't expect to get everything right first time, and RELAX ;)
If you finish early or go limp, just see to her using your mouth or hands. It doesn't have to mean that the session is over. Just roll with it and have fun with whatever happens.
How long it will take? I wouldn't expect more than a couple of minutes untill you've had a chance to shed the anxiety and are able to concentrate on the finer variables of your technique.
My partner and I probably do about 10 minutes of actual intercourse. Have done 20 on occasion, but some days he's a bit over-eager and it's closer to 2 minutes :p
+points for Skyrim soundtrack btw, I must suggest that to the other half XD
Thanks for responding, we are both 18. But im kinda on the overweight side. im 170 5'9". shes skinnier and shorter than me. The thing that really bothers me is my thighs there huge :( i dont have a beer keg tummy because its all in my thighs. I never understood that and i have been always disgusted by it. Also another thing i have noticed is my the smell of my crotch and hers. should we both take a shower before we get down and dirty?
Well, as for the weight what may seem disgusting is a blessing in disguise sometimes. I'm 6'1" and used to be 285, and build somewhat similar. I carried weight all over with just a minimum amount stomach-wise. The blessing as it were is that you don't "look" as fat as with a big old beer gut. I suggest a diet/exercise regimen that will get you down to whatever the correct weight for 5'9" is. I've shed off 70 lbs and it's extremely liberating.
As for the actual feeling, it's pretty simple, warmth and wetness. You'll know when you "really" have it in when it feels like there's no resistance, just gliding. Nothing saying you can't just look as well. Don't worry about making it into a Hollywood movie scene or anything. It won't be about the doing and the saying or any other mood stuff. If anything if/when you happen and are finished you may feel you "wasted time" on that part, time better used on your partner.
As for time, yeah that can vary greatly, but unless you're having emotional things like anxiety it'll usually be in the 2-10 minute range. With practice and confidence that can vary greatly. For example for a LONG TIME (like 20 years) I was always notoriously fast for my wife. Naturally it's not an issue so long as you are doing your work, but none the less it was embarrassing to be literally less than 1 minute. Come to find out it was a self esteem issue for me, along with confidence. When I lost my weight and felt more alive, proud, and strong from that I've completely changed. I can now watch, pay attention, do and try things, and pretty much last as long as I want. Upwards of 40 minutes even. It's very much a mind game.
As for the not feeling it, that very well could be more "it didn't feel like my hand". Just speculating, but if you are a firm gripper for example you may have trained yourself to only like that, and a vagina isn't going to give you that same death-grip feeling. If that's the case, you'll want to practice solo with a more forgiving hand, trying to mimic what you'll feel with your partner.
And lastly, like llovell stated don't worry if you either go limp 1st, or finish way out of sync. While some people think that's important to get the big movie double sync orgasm, it's not the end all be all. Just switch to plan B and just enjoy the time. Don't be apologetic or stop or fret. Just take it in stride like "hey, I knew this is what happens, and I'm not stopping." As long as you're both active and participating in the acts, and both end up with a smile, don't sweat the details.
Take care...
Uh oh, Im pretty Sure Thats the reason y i didnt feel anything. I guess i Just have to hope that shes tight and were Most likely going to last a Long time for me to get used to her......... I hope i dont pass out from exhaustion.
[QUOTE=Zeph;278697]Thanks for responding, we are both 18. But im kinda on the overweight side. im 170 5'9". shes skinnier and shorter than me. The thing that really bothers me is my thighs there huge :( i dont have a beer keg tummy because its all in my thighs. I never understood that and i have been always disgusted by it. Also another thing i have noticed is my the smell of my crotch and hers. should we both take a shower before we get down and dirty?[/QUOTE]
If taking a shower would make you feel more comfortable and confident, then go for it. Do it together, if you like! .
People will have a little bit of a musty scent naturally, but if you suspect that either of your scents is stronger than usual it might be worthwhile getting down to your local sexual health clinic or GP to rule out any medical source for the problem and put your mind at ease on that count.
I am not sure what advice to give you on your weight, as your girlfreind obviously wants you anyway...!
Im so embaressed. We Tried It today But it went all wrong. My Dick was only half erect idk y she was Soooooo Hot. I couldnt even get my Dick in her But i did once and It was heavanly for the few seconds It was in There, she was toooooooo tight I could only fit 1 Finger. I gave up after about an hour. But she has been very supportive about what happened. I later pleased her in the shower With my tongue;)
But how can she make It less tighter? Is It because I made her too horny before sex?
[QUOTE=Zeph;278725]
But how can she make It less tighter? Is It because I made her too horny before sex?[/QUOTE]
No, other way around; the more you turn her on, the more relaxed and lubricated it will be. You want to get her as horny as possible before you try to penetrate her.
My suspicion is that on this occasion she was as nervous as you! Anxiety can cause her to tense up and fail to lubricate, even if she really fancies you.
Just keep at it, the more little successes you have together, the less anxious you will both be.
And invest in a latex-safe lubricant to see if that helps.
I direct your attention to the sticky post found in the Long Term etc section of this forum entitled THE PROGRAM.
First of all, stop with the illusion of romance. This is fun and sex and sex is fun and you like her exceedingly but love is too heavy a concept to apply, just yet, to this situation.
Next - stop trying so damn hard! You're getting yourself emotionally wrapped around the axle which almost guarantees you will "fail" to get/maintain an erection or to orgasm. Relax and have fun with sex with her however sex manifests itself. Sometimes it works out well and some other times it doesn't.
Let me tell you about last night. I went out for a bit of 'car sex' with one of my teddybears. There we were and I had to leave the truck for nature's sake and as soon as I opened the door the alarm system went into overdrive. Lights everywhere, horn blasting away, signals flashing - and it wouldn't turn off! "Where're the keys?" "Which button is it?" "Here, give those to me." Scrambling about to TURN IT OFF! Talk about a mood-killer. (Stop laughing.) So that interlude ended up being a bust and he retained his "virtue". Of course he was gentlemanly enough not to sit there and say "Nyah, nyah, you didn't get me." But I could tell - he was laughing inside. Pesky male.
Don't worry. I'll get him next time.
So you see how fun sex can be even if nothing goes right or as you had planned. Sometimes she soaks the sheets and other times she rolls over and falls off the bed or when trying to put her arm around him she socks him one right in the eye or trips over something and falls over or barks her shin while trying to get onto the platform bed to reach the fetching naked male lying thereupon. Trust me - sex is "mad, bad, and dangerous" and that's what makes it hilarious fun!
Any questions?
Good gravy, sounds like a Chevy Chase pratfall scene!
I take it when you ask "do you have protection?" you're including shin guards, knee/elbow pads, wrist guards, a helmet, mouthpiece, and one of those dog funnels so they can't lick themselves. ;)
Lol, thanks. I will put all this info to use