[QUOTE=alotta;264269][COLOR="blue">This past weekend I got together with my partner and tried to put this newly acquired information to the test. [/color]

I'm not certain what you put into practice. From my reply, below, it doesn't seem like much.

[color=blue]So the first thing was when I reached the point where I felt the need to pee, I tried to hold on as long as I could. After a few minutes of having that feeling, the feeling itself became so uncomfortable I had to tell him to stop.[/COLOR]

My previous response was: "Go to the bathroom whenever possible beforehand." By doing so, if you know your bladder is empty then you will know that this urge is a false signal. This is why I suggested to push thru in order to find your orgasm on the other side.

[COLOR="blue">Then when we go to intercourse, the walls of my vagina are so sore that I can't really do it for that long. I think it's because he's trying to hard to get me to finish that he might be spending too much time on fingering which I guess that could be resolved with some lubrication. [/COLOR]

Again, my previous response was: "A lot of women report back stating that if intercourse* lasts longer (than ~ten minutes) that they do in fact become BORED, sore, and, tired." (* Or in your situation, fingering.)

Yes, do use a lubricant, and/or determine that your natural mucus is well distributed, particularly around the vaginal opening.

[COLOR="blue">> I've never had an orgasm before so I don't know if I should just wait it out because that means I will orgasm soon. [/COLOR]

Please read the articles listed in the Index (also provided in my earlier reply) regarding how to learn how to masturbate and how to stimulate each other once you do learn and can then climax regularly and consistently.

It sounds to me like your boyfriend is attempting to bring about your orgasm from stimulating the vagina; if so, he should really be attempting to stimulate your clitoris. Fingering is nice; however, in a pre-orgasmic woman, stimulating the inside of the vagina is of no real value. Save this for later after you learn how to climax. Learning how is your task, not his. Please read the article that describes the exercise and practice, practice, practice, until you connect all the proverbial dots.

Please keep in mind that we do not give orgasms away, each of us male and female is responsible for our own. All any partner can hope to accomplish is to help us achieve them. There is an article that explains all this in greater detail.
[COLOR="blue">
Also, with previous boyfriends when I felt the need to pee, I would have to tell them to stop because it was uncomfortable, then not too much later I would go to the bathroom and I would actually pee which almost makes me question whether it's really a false signal or not.[/COLOR]

Answered twice before by me and also by, EEK.
[COLOR="blue">
It's really frustrating not being able to orgasm, if he wasn't there in the room with me after we were fooling around I think I might have cried from the frustration. I know I shouldn't be concentrating on having an orgasm while we're doing stuff but I find it hard not to think about it. Is there any additional advice anyone can give me? Thanks again.[/COLOR][/QUOTE]

No. Just go off by yourself at times when you are calm and relaxed, and practice the exercise at times when you will not be disturbed by either inside or outside distractions. Learning to masturbate for boys is pretty much an automatic activity, not so for girls in which the learning process is more of a conscious and deliberate effort.

I recommend that you take whatever time is required over the next week or two or more, learn how to masturbate and to connect the sensitive nerve endings in the skin with the pleasure center in the brain via the autonomic nervous system--then once you can repeat the process regularly and consistently, you can show him. All this is explained when you read the articles on all this.

For the near future, just enjoy making love and without placing any demands on either of you. You've already proven the truth in the "Star Trek" adage: "Resistance is futile". So, stop trying to climax when making love with your boyfriend and simply enjoy the overall experiences. Practice, practice, practice, on your own until you discover how to climax, and then you can show him what to do and bring the two experiences together. Brandye has written an article that explains than not every woman can orgasm. There is a very small percentage of the world's population who simply cannot. It is not necessary for you to have orgasms in order to enjoy yourself and your man. So, until you learn how, stop making demands upon yourselves and just have fun with the understanding that the love making process as a whole is the external demonstration for the love the two of you have for each other.

Welcome, dear Alotta,

Let me begin by saying that you are completely normal and have nothing to worry about. In fact; there's great potential! :)

First, the feeling that you need to pee is most probably a feeling of orgasm coming your way with female ejaculation (also known as squirting). Don't worry, let go, surrender to the feeling of orgasm! If you went to the bathroom before sex, the fluid can not be pee! Not all women can squirt, but if you can, it's a gift girl! :) For more info, I recommend you to read these articles:
-http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/pleasing-her/19807-what-we-know-g-spot-e...
-http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/other-sex-topics/28957-cum-versus-natura...

Second, after 10 minutes of activities, do you mean in the same position, without a break? Also this is really not weird. Changing positions is advisable, taking breaks and make sure that you are totally ready for him before he penetrates. Spend lots of time on kissing, caressing, fingering, etc to feel completely aroused. Having an orgasm before he penetrates could relax you more. If it feels like there is too much friction, try using lube, spreading it evenly over the area.

Third, if anything feels unpleasant, you could always stop or take a break before continuing. Or change the rhythm, pressure, etc. You could hold your hand on his to retrieve what feels best. Or even try switching (for as long as you'd like), so that you masturbate instead of him doing it for you (him watching and learning). Also possible; you are not completely surrendering to the feeling and you interpret it as uncomfortable, while actually orgasm is on it's way. You could try continuing and see if the "unpleasant" feeling suddenly becomes a burst of pleasure!

Hope this helps. Good luck! And read around on the site, especially the index: http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/index-sexinfo101-board-topics/22777-begi... This contains an overview of valuable articles.

Alotta, just handing you a few possibilities.
-could it be that the fingering is being too rough on you? Men are sometimes a bit rough on themselves and use the same technique to please a woman.
-It could be that there is too much friction and that a little lube solves it all.
-Could it be that you're jumping into fingering too quickly. That there wasn't enough time spend on kissing, caressing, etc?

What is important: it's supposed to feel good. When he's pleasing you, it is your moment to lay back and enjoy! And you're the only one who could tell him what feels good and what not. In fact; sex is supposed to be fun beginning to end. So please; stand up for your right to pleasure! :)

Perhaps because all this is new to one or both of you is the reason fingering followed by penetration is longer than ten minutes. I do not understand the point of fingering that long. As noted, many women do not like intercourse to last that long. Bottom line: ten minutes tops for any and all.

Lubrication is key, whether it be all natural, all commercial, some of both. It is important that it be distributed around the vaginal opening and on the penis. Dry spots cause irritation.

[QUOTE=alotta;263132][COLOR="blue">First, when I'm being fingered sometimes I have a feeling that I have to pee, but I've never had an orgasm before so I don't know if I should just wait it out because that means I will orgasm soon.[/COLOR]

You are correct. If you have emptied your bladder before starting to make out, then more often than not the urge to pee is a false signal. Push right thru the sensation and your orgasm will be on the other side. This false signal will go away with the more experience and success you acquire.

[COLOR="blue">It would be rather embarrassing to pee and I think it makes me nervous therefore preventing the orgasm.[/COLOR]

You are very insightful. Leaking is one thing, actually peeing is quite another. Go to the bathroom whenever possible beforehand.

[COLOR="blue">I read that men have a sphincter that prevents urination during sex. Do women have this as well?[/COLOR]

No.

[COLOR="blue">Second, my vagina starts feeling sore after about 10 minutes of activities. I think the problem is that since I'm new to this, I'm too tight. Is there anything I can do to loosen myself up other than more sex? At this point sex hurts a bit so I'd like to loosen up before going at it again.[/COLOR]

"After about 10 minutes of (what sort of) activities? Intercourse? This is to be expected. If you read around, this matter has been discussed frequently. A lot of women report back stating that if intercourse lasts longer that they do in fact become BORED, sore, and, tired.

It is a better plan to hold off on intercourse until both of you have nearly reached your peak of arousal--then use a few strokes and thrusting to trigger one or both orgasms.

A lot of guys nowadays have the misguided misconception that the way to a climax is from lots and Lots and LOTS of stroking and thrusting. WRONG. This is what all the fooling around and making out is for. It is a better plan to reach the brink, then, invite your man in when he is also there.

[COLOR="blue">Finally, both with clitoral and g-spot stimulation, after a while it begins to feel overstimulated and not pleasant as my partner continues. Is there a way to achieve an orgasm even though this happens?

Thank you very much in advanced for you help! [/COLOR]

The "pieces-parts" that comprise a woman's Vulva are quite sensitive. We recommend that when the Clitoris becomes overly sensitive that her man switch to nearby areas. The clitoris can be stimulated indirectly by folding the inner Labia over it and massaging it thru them.

I would not be concerned about the G-spot until sometime after you have made the transition into an orgasmic woman. Learn to masturbate on your own, first and foremost. When you can climax regularly and consistently then you experiment. Please understand that we do not give orgasms away. Each of us is responsible for our own. All any partner can hope for is to help his/her partner achieve them.

Making love is not what we do to each other; it is what we do with and for each other. Key to this is communication and also providing feedback on how we are responding to our partner's caresses, and, for what we need now/next. Explore and learn together in partnership. [/QUOTE]

Here is more reading material:

What to do when the Clitoris becomes too sensitive

For Women Only- Help! Why Can't He Make Me Orgasm?
This article will give you instructions on learning to masturbate. While the process is nearly automatic for boys, not so for girls. For girls/women, learning to masturbate is a conscious decision and concerted effort, often learned later in life than for the typical teenage boy, if at all.

How Do I Get Him/Her to Orgasm From a Hand/Blow Job?

Welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you will enjoy participating. I recommend that you familiarize yourself with the Index found at the top of the main screen. It contains links to helpful informative insightful, as well as how-to articles that discuss the most common questions and concerns people ask about--like yours! In addition, if you click on the site's Home Page you will find even more information.

Knowledge is empowering. I suggest that the two of you read all of the articles, either together or individually, then discuss what you have learned. Add the information to what each of you already knows.

I hope this is of help. Got questions?

-doc

[QUOTE=dancingdoc2;263181]I do not understand the point of fingering that long..[/QUOTE]
Doc, unless we're talking monotonous fingering for 10 minutes, there could be a point in fingering "that long". I think there's a big difference between fingering and intercourse. Since there's a lot more variation with 2 hands and 10 fingers with extreme highly developed fine motor skills (not to underestimate the latter!), than there is with 1 penis... :rolleyes:

When using a proper variation of techniques that build up slowly according to the likings of the lady, 10 minutes of fingering may not be enough (or actually; she will not be able to remember how long it took ;))
[INDENT]Light, deep, hard and shallow stimulation
of the entire genital area (from mound to anus, including surrounding area's such as inner thighs, lower abdomen, etc),
varying attention from one part to another to simultaneous stimulation,
with 1-10 digits and/or palms of the hands in action,
combined with kissing and caressing her body (one hand down there, the other free to wonder!),
could get the lady floating in heavenly ecstasy,
prolonging the tremendous pleasure until finally she drops over the edge and has an orgasm with the power of the sun!!!

Examples of fingering techniques described in: http://www.sexinfo101.com/pw_fingeringtechniques.shtml
I do agree that when both being fairly new to sex, it takes practice to get to this point. [/INDENT]
Alotta, feel free to experiment (with your lover or by yourself)! Just stop when you're feeling it starts to hurt or it is uncomfortable. There's no deadline, no competition, no time limit, etc. All that counts is how you feel. Also; there's no shame in skipping intercourse after fingering, whenever you don't feel like it. It really shouldn't hurt! Think only fun and pleasure! :)

The urge to urinate during sex is the signal that an ejaculatory orgasm is coming so - let it go!!

Fingering issue:

1. use lube
2. increase the petting, stroking, kissing, nuzzling etc etc etc before fingering
3. have him lighten up his touch - softly, softly works and ham-handed does not
4. Once any particular 'hot spot' has been stimulated to orgasm, it is time for him to move along to the next 'hot spot' - he can come back to the first later on

Sex doesn't make you tight or loose - your degree of arousal is what expands and contracts - you're tight therefore you're not yet fully aroused. If you're not ready to jump his bones right [COLOR="Red">NOW[/COLOR], then you're not ready.

Two articles for you: The Four Hot Spots and The Program

Yep. You know some.

When you feel the need to urinate during intercourse - just let it go!
Stop trying to hold on. Yegods, woman, no wonder you're sore. Both of you are so anxious that you're stopping the orgasm before it starts then you're spending time pounding away - and not using lubrication.

Yes, most women do urinate after sex but do not confuse the meanings of the similar sensations. What you feel during intercourse and after intercourse mean different things.

Please find, read, and then practice The Program an article found elsewhere in this forum - it DOES work. You have to learn to relax, Relax, RELAX both mind and body even as you become aroused.

And he shouldn't be entering you and caressing until you are ready to orgasm.
Relaxation is most important. Using The Program will help.

Thanks! for your offer I like your tips Thanks! for sharing with us:cool: