Alright, me and my Wife got into it a few weeks ago, and now she's giving me another chance to redeem my self, but I want to know why does females like to use the "No-Sex Method" as leverage to make men act right? I respect my Wife and I will never force her to do anything she doesn't want to. I'm wondering can I speed things up as for our relationship, but I know only time and respect will be the proper way to make everything better. I made her a Birthday Cake for her birthday yesterday and bought her a bunch of gifts. Whenever we're in close contact, she pushes me off, but she'll touch me whenever SHE wants... I guess she's in control right now. Anyway, any advice?
Sat, 08/14/2010 - 14:09
#1
Men Will Never Understand Female Powers...
Don't let her touch you then either. You made her a cake and bought her gifts. Now help her with housework and maybe take her on a nice date.. If that doesn't work i wouldn't keep trying too hard. After that just go back to whatever you were doing but don't push for sex at all. You can't let her be that controlling of you.. she wants you to try so she can say no.. so don't try.. and say no... it'll frustrate her and you'll have some control. Just don't be her puppy dog.
sex should NEVER be used as a "tool" nor should it be handed out as crumbles of a cookie! That is pure manipulation and that has NO PLACE in a true adult relationship. It is sad to see that a couple resort to manipulation tactics. There is obvisously underlying problems with the relationship. Treat each other with respect and never "use" sex as a "treat"..
No, you men will never understand female powers. Neither do we. Using sex as a tool of manipulation is simply wrong. But, I suspect we women have all used it even if unconsciously.
My accountant put it this rather crude way a few years ago: "The problem in UK is that women control fifty-three percent of the wealth and 100 percent of the pussy." That is power but I must remind you that power is in the mind of the less powerful person in the relationship.
I'm not experienced enough to give a married man advice on this, but I really have to say you're wife sounds very petty.
This is not the first case of this kind of behavior I heard about and I hope you'll stand up to her.
The "No Sex Method" of control is one we are taught to employ not only by parents, church, but also by your guys yourselves. You place such a high prioirity upon sexual congress that she feels all you want is to get into her pants (devaluing everything else about her) but it also gives her the idea that she can use sex to manipulate you into doing whatever she wants if the reward is sex. A bit of 'hoist with your own petard'. And then you also want to know she's "not a slut" - well, you got that now didn't you and you see how much that's worth. If she can "say No" then she just might "say No" when you'd rather she didn't.
There are better and more mature methods available but "no sex" is sooo easy that few women can resist using it.
To change this, you will have to reduce the importance of sex in your own mind first and take the tension out of the situation - STOP FIGHTING. There usually is no need to fight. If you two contiue to make it 'she versus he' this situation will only get worse leading to more and more manipulation and more 'no-sex'. Time for a change.
Please see Doc's post on Arguing in the Index.
If husband/wife cannot agree and the wife uses such childish manipulation I can see the time when we blokes will have to stand on the 'naughty step'. Let's grow up folks!
[QUOTE=VanellaSchnella;258097]Don't let her touch you then either. You made her a cake and bought her gifts. Now help her with housework and maybe take her on a nice date.. If that doesn't work i wouldn't keep trying too hard. After that just go back to whatever you were doing but don't push for sex at all. You can't let her be that controlling of you.. she wants you to try so she can say no.. so don't try.. and say no... it'll frustrate her and you'll have some control. Just don't be her puppy dog.[/QUOTE]
Will do, thank you.
[QUOTE=HardNgood;258099]sex should NEVER be used as a "tool" nor should it be handed out as crumbles of a cookie! That is pure manipulation and that has NO PLACE in a true adult relationship. It is sad to see that a couple resort to manipulation tactics. There is obvisously underlying problems with the relationship. Treat each other with respect and never "use" sex as a "treat"..[/QUOTE]
We've been through quite a bit, but Respect is definitely something to work on in any relationship...
[QUOTE=Brandye;258101]No, you men will never understand female powers. Neither do we. Using sex as a tool of manipulation is simply wrong. But, I suspect we women have all used it even if unconsciously.
My accountant put it this rather crude way a few years ago: "The problem in UK is that women control fifty-three percent of the wealth and 100 percent of the pussy." That is power but I must remind you that power is in the mind of the less powerful person in the relationship.[/QUOTE]
LOL! That quote is powerful...lol
[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;258128]The "No Sex Method" of control is one we are taught to employ not only by parents, church, but also by your guys yourselves. You place such a high prioirity upon sexual congress that she feels all you want is to get into her pants (devaluing everything else about her) but it also gives her the idea that she can use sex to manipulate you into doing whatever she wants if the reward is sex. A bit of 'hoist with your own petard'. And then you also want to know she's "not a slut" - well, you got that now didn't you and you see how much that's worth. If she can "say No" then she just might "say No" when you'd rather she didn't.
There are better and more mature methods available but "no sex" is sooo easy that few women can resist using it.
To change this, you will have to reduce the importance of sex in your own mind first and take the tension out of the situation - STOP FIGHTING. There usually is no need to fight. If you two contiue to make it 'she versus he' this situation will only get worse leading to more and more manipulation and more 'no-sex'. Time for a change.
Please see Doc's post on Arguing in the Index.[/QUOTE]
I'm going to read Doc's Argument Thread... And yes, I haven't been into sex lately, it's mainly when I rub on her or grab her in a intimate way. But yeah, I'm going to just have to wait her out, and let things in our Marriage progress. Women seem to have a longer time that they can go without sex, but eventually she will want sex. That's when I'll strike...lol
[QUOTE=maupassant;258136]If husband/wife cannot agree and the wife uses such childish manipulation I can see the time when we blokes will have to stand on the 'naughty step'. Let's grow up folks![/QUOTE]
Definitely.