who cares??
this post was started almost a year ago and eliza hasn't even been back here in awhile.
if she was a troll she wouldve kept bringing the subject up.
i don't even think she's been back to the board.
just let it die!!!
i don't think its fake i just think she was confused.

I know she is capable and mature enough to scream at him and run away, it isn't that hard. I know she is capable enough to slap him across the face and scream "DO NOT TOUCH ME".

It's obvious that this stupid and immature post is a troll trying to get a reaction with everyone here in the boards.

Going back to eliza's first original post, allow me to comment on everything she has said:

[QUOTE=Quote ]it felt so great...but somehow i felt it's inappropriate/immoral...he asked me questions about my vagina and stroke it. after that, he even smelled it. i swear i could even feel his nose into my clit! how??? am i supposed to stop him?[/QUOTE]

She clearly said she enjoyed him doing that to her. So I would NOT take that stupid excuse since she is trying to get him in trouble. Why would she post crap like this on a message board? It's obvious she is a troll and an attention craver.

[QUOTE=Quote ]since we knew each other so long, i thought it was alrite n let him do it. maybe my panty was narrow, so he thought it was loose. then he frequently said that my panty was still loose, he became frustrated and removed my panty and said he'll pull it up later. i didn't say anything. he open my vagina, then inserted his fingers into it and started exploring round my vagina.[/QUOTE]

That's more proof that she lying when she said she didn't want him doing it. Eliza could have stopped him right there. She simply could have pulled her panty up, slapped him across the face and holler at him. But nope, she continued to allow him to finger her.

[QUOTE=Quote ]no, it's e fact that i felt some what thrilled. but juz felt kinda guilty coz i felt it's inappropriate.[/QUOTE]

See? She said she was enjoying the pleasure very much. It doesn't make any sense if she was enjoying the pleasure of what he was doing, and it's hypocritical that she would find it inappropriate later? Her finding it inappropriate is a lame excuse and a total lie.

[QUOTE=Quote ]i never stopped him. but my conscious told me that i should stop him. by the way, he's few years older. n during our practice, i was fully clothed. we'd done this a couple of times. i juz dunno how to confront him. i'm purely acrobatic modern dancer. i'm no stripper. i'm only 15. how could i be 1? [/QUOTE]

She says she done it a couple of times. Yet, she continued to let him to do it. The guys a damn pedophile. Molesting an underage girl. He should be reported.

[QUOTE=Quote ]i wouldn't dare to report. it's so embarrassing to tell any1 'bout this. is it really wrong to let him touch even if he isn't my bf? [/QUOTE]

It ain't that hard to get on that phone to call 9-1-1 for the police. She could have simply stated to the police, "I would like to report a man sexually abusing me."

[QUOTE=Quote ]If he is over 18 (depending on where you are from) he can go to jail for touching you.[/QUOTE]

Right, but you are wrong on one thing. Even if this guy could be underage, he can still be reported for sexual abusing a minor. It's against the law to touch someone without permission whatsoever. But how could I see if it's "Without her permission" when she continued to let him do it "couple more times".

If this guy as sent to court about this, the jury would even agree that she is lying when she says "it's inappropriate". Just her way of getting someone she doesn't like into trouble.

[QUOTE=Quote ]it's kinda embarrassing telling him no. i mean he mite get offended... i dun wanna affect our friendship [/QUOTE]

She doesn't have the confidence at all. It's ain't that hard to tell him no. She needs to flat out tell him. Women are brave enough to tell guys "no". If he gets offended, who the hell cares? It doesn't matter if she known this guy for years.

I mean, how could it be rape if this girl continued to let him finger her? That's not rape. Rape is getting forced to having sexual intercourse with a man. He didn't have sexual intercourse, so this is not considered rape. It would be considered sexual abuse.

This post is a total fake and a complete lie. I'm questioning this post to a moderator.

It is very scary to report someone for sexual assault, or even to bring it up to their face in private.

One of the reasons I think it can be so frightening to just say "STOP" or "What the hell are you doing?" is just because of the aggressiveness of the situation. It's natural to clam up a bit and play dead, so to speak. Some people, of course, have the opposite reaction, and lash out, or are able to assert themselves very clearly. This doesn't mean the person who hasn't said anything wasn't frightened or forced. A huge breach of trust has been made! Discovering and coming to terms with the new "relationship" can take a little while. It sounds like you are still confused about what happened, Eliza. That's okay. But until you are absolutely positive you are interested, you need to tell him, very clearly, that you don't want him touching you in that way again.

Stand your ground. I can't stress this enough -- you are not doing anything bad, unreasonable or dramatic by refusing to let him touch you in ways that make you uncomfortable. If he is trying to make you feel like you are, then there is a serious problem and you don't need to worry about keeping this guy as a friend.

I used to do a lot of theater, and there was one guy in our troop who took advantage of a lot of the highly physical nature of some of our performances to cop feels off of me and the other girls. He tried to veil it as an accident, and at first, all of us were confused about whether or not it was harmless. No one said anything, to him or to the authorities. It turned out later that it was not harmless. It escalated and became pretty serious, and long story short, I was forced to report him.

What I learned from it was very simply, if you are uncertain whether or not if it is appropriate or if you feel uncomfortable, the rule of thumb is that it IS inappropriate and you have GOT to say something. From a legal perspective, if not just an emotional and personal safety perspective.

It might be embarassing and it might be frightening to speak up. What might happen if you don't is infinitely worse. I'm not trying to be harsh.

If you would feel more comfortable, find a friend who you trust and know has a strong personality to go with you when you tell this guy "hands off." But don't let them do all the talking. He needs to know that it's you who doesn't want it and not someone else saying what they think you think.

It would probably be a good idea, also, not to let him train with you anymore. If he insists, leave.

The only way to stop him is to tell him. You know you're capable enough of screaming, "DON'T TOUCH ME!!!" Get the police after him. That would be considered rape or sexual abuse if he's touching your private parts without your permission. Since you didn't scream at him when you are capable enough, you know you're lying when you said you don't want him doing it, you clearly said you enjoyed him fingering you. Next thing you know, you'll want him to do it even more. No offense but this is a very immature post.

Eliza-- Don't worry about the friendship. If its sincere he will respect your feelings and decision and stop these sexual acts. Im 16 and am a victim of sexual assualt/harrassment and rape. The guy who did this to me is very close to me but enough was enough I let him get away with what he was doing not bc I liked it ( I was only like 11-14) but because he liked it and I didnt want to say anything to him because I was scared of what might happen to me. Finally it came out and was reported to the courts. He spent weekends in jail but that was it. If you end up having to take this to someone higher (police or parents) and you end up talking to a detective who works your case let them know that you dont want this person put in jail you just want them to be counselled or what not to stop their behavior. I hope what I've told you has helped some. If you ever need to talk you can get my on yahoo *andrews_always_n_forever* or AIM rbaanbdys114 or email me
*Amanda*

so he can rape u if he wants just because you don't want to offend him and hurt your friendship? like some said: with that friend who needs enemys. He is taking advantage of that friendship, if he wanted a healthy relationship, he would told your first about his feelings towards you before touching you in such way.

If he is over 18 (depending on where you are from) he can go to jail for touching you. If it is legal in your area and you enjoy the attention, have fun. If you don't want him touching you - TELL HIM NO.

[QUOTE=Quote (?wiseman? @ Oct. 20 2003,16:49)]eliza, technically, you were sexually assaulted. Depending upon your ages, his intent may have been adolescent curiosity. HOWEVER, if it made you uncomfortable, it must be stopped. Make it clear to your friend that this will not happen again and, if it does, you will report the incident. Further, if you are underage and your "friend" is an adult, he is molesting you and should be reported to an adult (parent, relative, school councellor) immediately.

None of this is your fault and you now know that what HE is doing is wrong without your consent.[/QUOTE]
Given the fact that you're 15 and he's a "few years older" I'll stand by my prior post.

im still confused about the situation.
is he the same age as you?
it would totally be different if you are real young and he was some much older.
if you enjoyed his advances then there isn't anything wrong w/ that. if you didn't then tell him to back off.
like the others said... if he makes you uncomfortable then tell him and don't be alone in a room w/ him anymore.

The guy got close enough to smell your vagina. It's not unreasonable on his part to believe that he'll get sex the next time he helps you with your dancing. You need to tell him, fully clothed, that you don't want him to do it again. Do not mention that it may have excited you- that was only a physical reaction. It reads like the whole scenario bothered you and you don't want it to happen again.

Maybe I am missing something, but I didn't see anywhere in your post that you said no. You didn't make yourself clear that you weren't interested, you need to. Although the next post makes it sound like you are interested. If you don't even know what you want how can anyone else know? If he started touching you and you didn't argue or say no then you can't expect that he would know that you weren't interested.

You say you are a dancer... does that mean stripper? If so, most men think that strippers are slutty, so this may be another reason why he felt it was ok to touch you. I am not saying that it was, but you need to understand that men are men and you have to be very clear with them.

[QUOTE=Quote (eliza @ Oct. 22 2003,08:51)]no, it's e fact that i felt some what thrilled.[/QUOTE]
Like I said, even if you are "thrilled" and enjoyed it or whatever, you shouldn't continue. He got away with forcing you once, so he'll probably try it again.

Oh wow, Hun, Im sorry to hear that, and the guys are right, that was a form of ... sexualharrassment, or whatever.. because what you were doing was innocent and so forth, and you didnt "ask" for it, not only that he should only be helping you with dance, or whhatever, not helping you orgasmn.. unless you want him to. not only that, how could he get away with it? wasn't there other people in the room? what what? that makes me kinda worry, maybe a plan you can do if you are very uncomfortable, you can always make sure that there is an adult in the same room, so he can't have the "chance" to do that to you again. and also say No.
Oi, I hate assholes who think they can get away with shit like that, male or female.. (--- has had bad experience with things like that---) and its no fun, no one should have to "put up with it"

eliza, technically, you were sexually assaulted. Depending upon your ages, his intent may have been adolescent curiosity. HOWEVER, if it made you uncomfortable, it must be stopped. Make it clear to your friend that this will not happen again and, if it does, you will report the incident. Further, if you are underage and your "friend" is an adult, he is molesting you and should be reported to an adult (parent, relative, school councellor) immediately.

None of this is your fault and you now know that what HE is doing is wrong without your consent.

Yeah kid, Mike's right. If he tries it again, tell him to cease and desist, and if it creeped you out the first time and you felt violated, tell him you'll tell a teacher or a cop next time he tries it and let him know it's sexual assualt.

Well first, if you grew up together I'm assuming he's about your age.

Now, if things happened as you tell them, then what he did was definetly inappropriate, and would most likely be considered sexual harrassement, possibly even some kind of sexual assault. Perhaps it did feel good, but that does not change the fact that it was forced upon you. Even if you have the desire to continue exploring or whatever, I do not see good things happening in the future with him. He has successfully forced something on you once, and he probably will attempt to do so again. At worst it could even lead to a date rape type scenario.

So what do you do? I want to say approach him directly and bluntly tell him that you aren't interested in anymore "exploring," but I'm not sure if thats a good idea. I'll let others comment. Otherwise, tell an adult (acrobatic instructor/teacher) and/or your parents. In the unlikely event that none of them would help you, contact the police.