FEMALE GEOGRAPHY

Between 18 and 25, a woman is like Africa: wild, naturally beautiful and full of mysterious, fertile deltas.

Between 26 and 34, a woman is like America: well-developed and open for trade, especially for those with stacks of money.

Between 35 and 44, a woman is like India: sensual, relaxed, in full bloom, aware of her beauty.

Between 45 and 54, a woman is like France: deliciously mature, still a pleasant destination to visit.

Between 55 and 60, a woman is like Yugoslavia: a lost war, haunted by the mistakes of the past. Major reconstruction work is mostly the only answer.

Between 61 and 65, a woman is like Russia: vast, with undefined frontier. The cold climate puts off any potential visitors.

Between 66 and 70, a woman is like Mongolia: a glorious past, great conquests, but without a future.

After 70, a woman is like Afghanistan: many know its whereabouts, but no-one dares to venture there...

MALE GEOGRAPHY

Between 15 and 90, a man is like Zimbabwe: ruled by a dick...