Dirty Talk Advanced Guide
Now that you should hopefully have awakened your partner’s libido, it is time to put on that final touch. Check out our Dirty Talk Basics guide (if you haven't already) first, then read on below to refine and enhance those skills. Keep in mind the basic guidelines; like deep breaths and sounds, your words should also be in sync with the rhythm you have just created. The inhale breath should almost always be heard by your partner and you should speak in the "sexy voice" on the exhale breath. Enunciate all your words to your best degree.
To begin you should focus on these following questions: Which of my partner’s skills or attributes turn me on? How do they make me feel? How am I feeling right now? Dirty talking is mostly concerned with momentous sayings, so you should try to let your instinct carry you. If you feel that your partner is hot, call it as it is: "you are so hot!" If you feel that their touch makes your genitals quiver, say it: "Your touch makes my cock/pussy quiver." If you feel that you are very hard/wet, state it: "I’m so hard/wet right now."
However, a good rule of thumb is to avoid the word "because." You are not writing an essay question. This will avoid sounding dull and it will also add urgency. In a sense, you may be cramming a long portion of a sentence in an exhaling breath so this forces you to say it very quickly, which emphasizes that urge. For example: "You laying there naked makes my cock/pussy hard/wet because I find you to be so irresistible." You may be feeling this, but this is a bit long. Try separating the fragments with breaths. Long inhale, "You lying there naked," quick inhale “Makes my cock/pussy hard/wet" inhale "You’re irresistible." This style sounds more natural than mechanical, which is the intention of good dirty talk.
Another added bonus of separating the sentence is that it allows you to think on the spot. You can simply state something with out wondering whether it’s long enough, or why you feel that way. State the phrase, breathe, and add to it.
To turn up the dirty talking a bit, you should focus on this question: What do I want to happen to my partner or to me? Do not be intimidated. Think about things like foreplay, oral, anal, the use of toys, different positions, being spanked, etc. The answers to this question can be transformed into very naughty phrases. These are all within you, for only you know what you want. Ok, so you can cheat if you really need to: if you draw a complete blank, watching adult films for inspiration is always a possibility. Nevertheless, you should look deep within yourself and bare all your dirty fantasies. (Long inhale) "You just got out of the shower (couple of breaths), I just want to fuck you until you can't walk anymore (inhale), Cum/spray all over you (inhale) ... (quivering exhale/inhale), get you all dirty again."
After letting out some of your wants and desires, you may want to consider adding some more emphasis on certain subjects. One option is to add those initial sounds as previously mentioned. "Uh (inhale), I want to eat out your pussy/suck your dick (inhale), aah." Repetition is used to emphasize the importance of an action. "Pound me! (Long inhale). Come on (quick inhale), pound me! (Inhale), pound me harder!" You can also use adjectives and adverbs. "My nipples want your soft lips to slowly suck them and then bite them hard."
Using singular adjectives or adverbs can also be a relief from always hearing the combination of an adjective before a noun. Make sure to stress the last syllable in the word to create more of an impact. For example, the word "wet" should be pronounced as "wet-te." (Long inhale) "I love it when I/you push my/your cock so far into you/me (inhale), I feel it touching all your/my walls inside (inhale), warm (inhale), wet (inhale), moist (inhale), tight."
To avoid sounding redundant with vocabulary, attempt using metaphors, such as "I want to feel my/your essence leaking out of me." For a more aggressive touch, using cursing can be quite thrilling. Compare “You are such a great lay" to "Holy shit! You are such a great fucking lay!" Other examples are "Fucking bang me harder, bitch/bastard," "Fucking smack my God-damned ass," and "Jesus, it just feels so bloody good that I want to fucking cum all over you." Here you are able to speak louder because these phrases tend to be more aggressive.
Be sensitive to your partner's responses - some people may find it incredibly erotic (in the heat of the moment) to be referred to in an unusual (perhaps even degrading) way, such as a "my little whore" or "my dirty bastard", but others may be very offended. If you sense shock (or feel it yourself), then talk about it afterwards and re-assure each other that it is just 'play'. In any case (as with anything new) start off slowly, monitor the response - and adjust accordingly.
Role-playing can also be considered a section of dirty talk because even though you may be acting, there is massive dialogue. Role-playing basically concentrates on acting on your or your partner’s fantasies. This tends to be more difficult because you need to fully understand your fantasies by knowing the role of both you and your partner. For example, you need to know if your partner ought to be dumb, wild, shy, mean, etc. An easy angle to start with is the dominant and submissive roles. You choose one of these roles while your partner must choose the opposing role or vice versa. The dominant figure tends to be more aggressive in their wants and desires. They must take charge: command and demand. "I am going to handcuff you to the bed, and you better not squeal." "Spread your legs now!" There are two sides of being submissive: the willing and the refusing. As a willing figure, you may decide to either solely perform the actions or perform with the purpose of liking them.
If you are a refusing figure, you may decide to perform the commands while begging for mercy or perform after intense threats. In a case you are finding that your partner is having difficulty taking on the role of a dominant figure, you can then ask defiant questions. "What are you going to do if I refuse to even kiss you, never mind suck your cock / eat out your pussy?" If the dominant partner is still not responding, then you answer the questions. "Will he/she smack me, or pin me down?" Here the submissive partner is offering material that the dominant partner would hopefully be able to work with. There are many situations where dirty talking can be used in role playing: nurse and her not-so-sick patient, the student begging for a better grade, a master and his slave, Cleopatra seducing Caesar, popular cheerleader with the average guy, etc. Remember that the trick to having a great role-playing session is to act out exactly what you crave as long as it is to a safe degree.
It is absolutely necessary to practice dirty talking with a partner that you are comfortable with. This will allow you to say exactly what you are striving for and in the end satisfy your wants and needs. Everyone has the potential of being a great dirty talker as long as you remember to work with your own instincts and try to be as natural as possible. The techniques and tips here are not etched in stone so feel free to add your personal style to them and to focus on your partner's feedback. Please keep in mind that practice makes perfect and that variety is the spice of life.
I Love It!
Dirty talk is a great way to get your guy even hornier - a bit like teasing him a little. During forplay I tell my bf exactly what I want him to do to me, "I can't wait to feel your hard strong cock push into my hot wet cunt...", which makes him even more desperate too! It makes everything more fun when you've been anticipating it ;)
Dirty talk of this nature CAN be done outside sex, like a naughty text telling someone exactly which body parts are missing them... But I agree with guruguy when it comes to namecalling or dirty talk done in dominating role-play. I get a weird kick out of being called a whore, etc when my bf has me tied up and were having sex - but this trust in him to respect me, whilst dominating me, would end if the namecalling was taken outside of the sexual context. Hence I think abusive dirtytalk should def stay in the bedroom...
I want your, warm, wet pussy
I want your, warm, wet pussy in my mouth, your hot sweaty body on top of me. Mmmm so horny
that's hot, very hot. Got
that's hot, very hot. Got any more?? ;)
haha bf and i use dirty
haha bf and i use dirty talk... it's fun :D
but i read this and was like... wow... i do this already... lol
wow
oh wow, dirty talk sounds like so much fun, ive never acually tried it but i would like to. haha just moaning really loud gets him off in seconds, i wonder how he will react when i talk dirty to him. ;)
i understand it
im 13 and today i learned the most valueble thing...what love is about...well...to make a long story short...i have more affection to my gf...i learned bcuz i just sat in my parents car thinking...it works...i really miss my gf...i think ill go call her...maybe ill plan a date...or ill plan a meeting...dunno ride bikes together or sumthin...talk to her about stuff...i cant call her tho...dont got a phone...hell ill walk like 6 miles to talk to her...well...my ex wanted to screw like a nail to a board....well...prolly not the best place to put this cuz everyones talkin about dirty talking lmao...i guess i wanted to share with you all my fellings...and...yeah ur bored reading this...okay wood it stir it up if i said i wanted to f*** her hard? reply if so, lmaoooooooooo
ur lucky
hey Im 13 I havent even got a GF geez I want one though ask her if she wants to shag or something btw nice phrase "wanted to screw like a nail to a board" sounds errotic
rofl
Faking?
ok, so I am only 16, and i've only had a hand full of partners, but here is something that has really been bothering me and I was wondering if anyone could provide some insight?
like any other kid my age i'd been looking forward to my first for a while, and when it finally happend, I was ready, and I cant really think of too many ways it could have gone better, I had had the concerns like what if im not big enough, what if i dont last long enough etc, when the time came i wsant concerned etc, anyways, getting to the point, I was recently with a new partner that I was not in a relationship with, getting used to the other persons preferences can take a lil adjusting etc, but I noticed something I never noticed before, and it seemed like she was faking
she was talking dirty, but feeding my ego, but the way she was doing it, made me angry almost, anyone else expirience this?
feel ya
yea i think sometimes girls and guys also will try new things with new partners to try things out and in your case maybe the girl thought she could only orgasm using methods that might offend you, most likely it will stop once she realizes it's not to your liking
thanks but it was a one time
thanks but it was a one time thing, she's the same age as me, but has had older partners, i myself have only had a few partners, most of which were virgins, so i must say, she was really very good with things like ear nibbling, sensual kisses, lightling running her fingernails up my back, its the things she said, maybe I was being modest? maybe she was sincere? but that wouldn't be my first thought
?
if you don't mind me asking, what kinda shit was she saying.
i can't imagine any girl talking up to me and it making me angry.
I guess insincerity is just
I guess insincerity is just a pet peeve of mine, i don't mind you asking, it was just the usual compliments like you're so good at that, youre so big, not only the things she was saying, but like arching her back lifting her hips, over-selling it, i don't know, i understand it sounds strange that it made me [not angry] but a little upset and confused, it made me think im so bad she had to lie i guess, does that make sense?
umm just wondering but is it
umm just wondering but is it bad if my
boyfriend started calling me a whore when
we make love? i mean im only 16 and he is 19 and
im new at this but he isnt and im too scared to
tell him not to cuz i dont no what he would say
how?
like the person before me said. my guy says it too. but totally in a joking way. like im his little whore. if he is saying it to be mean then yea it is bad and he is wrong.
Advice
It depends how he says it really. If he whispers it in your ear softly and sweetly then in my opinion it's okish. But it really depends on how you feel about it, if you don't mind it then I would leave it. But judging from what you've written I'd say you're not happy with it, in which case I think it is vital you talk to him about it. Just tell him sorry but you dont like it.
If he respects you and cares about you he'll stop :)
Good Luck
dirty talk suggestions
ok ok, I love dirty talk. I love to give and take it...but I am running out of fresh stuff. I use some play words like naughty, dirty, nasty, rotten (lol). I demand him to bang, ram, f*ck, slam my p*ssy, c*nt, tw*t, *ss... I love yelling F****CCCCKKKKK MMMEEEE HARDER!!!! I love the C word. I ask him if IT is good or tight enough for him. I tell him I love, like, want his fat, pulsating, throbing, veiny, hard, big, large, D*ck, c*ck, penis. I love telling him to slap or spank my *ss. Pull my hair. Grab my hips, shoulders or ankles. I am running out of ideas - PLEASE help me - what do you like getting said to you or told to do???
namecalling
maybe you would like him to call you foul dirty names i have found namecalling to be very erotic or vice versa u can call him names i hope this helps also try it over the phone and act it out later
Dirty talking
My girlfriend and I have been sexually active for a couple months now, her and I just started to talk dirty to each other. and ive just got to say, nothing gets/keeps me harder than her talking dirty to me/ the noises she makes.
Sexy Noises
Nothing gets me off more than hearing my woman make a really hot groan or moan or any number of other noises a woman makes when in the throes of passion. Dirty talk gets thrown in every now and again, but I enjoy hearing the sexy noise more.
Good Guide...
I must agree with the other posters. Dirty talk adds another level of erotic passion. Sex is not just about pleasuring the body. For me, it allows my mind to enjoy more of what my body feels. With my mind more in tune it makes what my body feels even better.
When I'm talking dirty to my partner, I want to bring his mind to where mine is. It enhances the connection you have. It also allows you to indulge in those naughty fantasies that you might not otherwise indulge in.
Since your exploring fantasies, I cannot stress enough that you have to really trust the person. That they're not gonna judge. Not only that, but talk about your fantasies before you get kinky that way they can tell you if they feel comfortable with it. Not only should you trust them but they should actualy be trustworthy. I'm not ashamed of my fantasies but they're mine and they're private. It would be aweful if some of the things I've said in the bedroom with my partner didn't stay there.
It's also important to have a "safe word". A word that is totally out of context but if said the other person knows to stop.
Dirt Talk
What do you say to him.
My friend talks dirty to me all of the time. I dont know what to say to him.
This is the first time any one has talked dirty to me.
I find what he says to me very erotic and keeps me wet and flushed for a while.
Dirty Talk
Dirty talk to all intents and purposes merely expresses one's inner feeling to get a f**k of intense orgasm. I love it and am not scared to scream out loud of what I want and desire. The more filthier I demand, the more my partner normally obliges, with satisfaction so intense that we may even just " pass out" for a good few minutes.
Lizz
DirtyTalk
Dirty talk is fun. By using words that normally a man would describe a woman is most stimulating for a woman as she feels that she is a typical whore in bed. My hubby normally calls me names, I respond by calling him names too. we just go on an on an on...
Lizz
Dirty talk
I somewhat find that in very few cases dirty talk is part of a vocabulary of a woman when they are only in other (women's) company. I often hear men dirty talking the whole day and in almost every sentence that they make. Now this dirty talk I am talking about is not as one would expect during lovemaking sessions, but rather day to day vocabulary. I can but only conclude that men find it as a norm, and women find it abusive. But it seems that when I have discussions with woman about their private sex life, most say that that's the time when they are just about reaching orgasm that the most dirtiest words seem to come out of their mouths. I am not so surprised by the words, but what I do find intriguing is the many woman who indulge in oral sex, but never talk about it. Men on the other hand you hear them openly taking about it. I guess it's a difference of opinion and style, or the way men perceive things to be.
Lizz
Real dirty talk
My hubby loves Dirty talk during our lovemaking and it seems as if he enjoys telling and reminding me in the dirtiest language about the various practices I indulge in. (I commented about it on other pages).
I am a lover of oral sex and an addict of semen. I also allow only my hubby to penetrate me in the anus and take part in threesomes regularly. Recently I took part in some great triple penetration.
Now all this increases Dirty talk on my hubby's side and when he reminds me of being a c**k sucker, etc., i just nod and say "yeah do what you want to with me". Dirty talk really enhances our sex life.
Lizzie
threesomes
I am married and have a wonderful sex life with my husband. He is desperate for a threesome or even sharing with another couple...while I'm intrigued with the thought, I'm also nervous. How do you separate the emotion you have with your hubby to it "just being sex" with others? I want to fulfill this fantasy he has (and who knows? I/We may love it and continue) and try it out of curiosity.
Did you lay ground rules before you started participating in threesomes?
Wow, good guide!
Nice work, that's the best article on this I've ever seen.
Just a few thoughts. Firstly, your partner will probably have a few 'hot button' fantasies, words, or names they like to be called. Find out what they are, you can even ask while in the midst of it, whispering in their ear, 'what do you want me to call you?' Do not ask this is the cold reality of day!
Secondly, moans can be felt as well as said. Try moaning into their neck, under their ear, into their chest, and of course, when between their legs.
Finally - NEVER, ever, ever repeat what is said during sex outside of that context. Leave it where it was said, and bring it up again when you are back there. It can destroy attempts at the trust required to really get into this with your partner if they hear you repeating it elsewhere.