guide to fisting

Guide to Fisting

What is Fisting?

Most people know what fingering is; whether in the vagina or anus, it's tremendously enjoyable to stroke someone inside. (Fingers up a man's anus, if aimed properly, will tickle his prostate gland, which feels AMAZINGLY good... just a little tip!). People are generally comfortable with the idea of fingering with more than one finger, but not as many have been exposed to the idea of inserting a whole hand into the vagina or anus ... which is, in its simplest terms, what fisting is.

Yes, it's anatomically possible, and yes, it CAN be EXTREMELY pleasurable. You generally can get your whole hand inside your partner's vagina, and some people (male and female) are able to accommodate a hand in their anus. For those who are into massive penetration, nothing is a bigger turn-on. No experience is necessary - for either of you; but for vaginal fisting, if your partner is a little roomy, or has given birth in the past, you’ll have an easier time. In any case, you need to start off slow and work your way up … pun intended!

A few words of caution before you roll up your sleeves and plunge in: fisting can result in injury to the fistee if not done properly. You do NOT make a fist and ram it home. Fisting is one of the most intimate and complete ways to touch another human being and it is something that has to be worked up to slowly and gently. Not everyone is able or willing to accept fisting … respect that fact and NEVER force participation. In addition, the anus is designed as a one-way system (out) and many members of the medical community argue that any kind of excessive activity that over-stretches the anus can/will result in damage to the area … so, be informed and BE CAREFUL!

There have been many posts about fisting on bulletin boards … talking about the proper technique, the safety concerns, the fantastic feeling of openness and connection, the magical plane that two people fisting can attain ... it's an incredibly intense way to make love.

Trust and communication between partners is essential--and tons of lube helps a lot, too. Respect your partner’s limits and pain threshold. The following guide is intended for consenting adult partners who wish to engage in this act, and we assume no responsibility for possible injuries caused by, or to, those attempting it.

Some safety issues

First of all, cut and file all your nails until every finger is as smooth as it could possibly be. Your fingers will be in some very delicate places -- places that may not have pain receptors. You want to make sure you minimize all chance of causing damage.

Use latex gloves. AIDS is a matter of life and death.

For anal fisting, you will probably want to clean your bottom's GI tract out. What else are enemas for? Be gentle with enemas - warm water is best. DO NOT use detergent in enemas.

Okay, now how do you do it?

Get her/him ready.

Make sure your partner is relaxed, turned on, and comfortable. When a woman becomes aroused, her vagina relaxes, expands and lengthens; all very important for accommodating a fist.

For anal fisting, the anus must be similarly relaxed. If the receiver is not relaxed, forcing a large object like a fist in could be very painful... so make sure to relax, and take it slowly.

Use lube.

Even the wettest vagina can use some extra juice during fisting; the more, the better. The anus produces no natural lubricant, so an artificial one is MANDATORY! A latex glove can also reduce friction and is a good idea for safer sex purposes.

Use LOTS (and I mean lots) of lube. Push it in with your fingers. Make a huge mess. Get it all over your hand, the back of your hand, between your fingers. Keep applying it as you go. You can't have too much lube. (And remember, oil-based lubricants dissolve latex).

Some people like KY jelly - others say it dries out too quickly; Astroglide (available in North America) is a water-soluble lubricant which holds up well to continuous use. Others use "J-Lube," which is a powdered concentrate that when added to water produces incredibly slippery goo; it's sold in veterinary supply houses! (Some people still use Crisco with latex gloves, on the theory that the Crisco is just the best lube, and the gloves don't break down that fast. This is risky, but it's an option.)

Start slow.

Start with one or two fingers and work your way up to three and then four. Most people need some time to further relax their muscles, and some may require several stretching sessions, over weeks or even months, before you can actually get your whole hand in.

Go slowly. Start with one finger and work up. DON'T RUSH. Be sensitive to your partner's feelings. You are trying to persuade part of their body to open for you, to admit part of you deeply inside it. The energy will move back and forth, and you'll ride it, coaxing and pushing, in and out, moving your partner into a trance. Keep communicating with your partner; help them to relax and demonstrate some empathy if they are a little uncomfortable at first.

If this is anal fisting and your partner’s anus suddenly hits their limit, you'll know; their orifice will clench tight-shut suddenly. DON'T PULL OUT. Stay right where you are until the contraction ends, THEN start pulling out. You can pull a muscle or two if you try to back out in the middle of a reaction like that. If this happens, it's OK; you'll know to go slower next time (if you both want to try again). But assuming all is well...

Duck inside.

When you reach five fingers, you're almost there. Now is when you want to be most sensitive and most aware. Your partner is going to be flying on pain and pleasure; a sudden flinch and you'll find the vagina or anus doesn't want you anymore. If so, respect that - and pull out (slowly!). But if your partner wants it, then you'll slip your knuckles inside, folding your thumb *inside* your fingers, and your hand will NATURALLY form an elongated fist (think of the shape of a duck’s beak) - you DON'T need to clench your hand or anything else! (Note: be careful with your nails as you form a fist). This makes your hand into a wedge shape that allows you to gradually stretch your partner open as you press on. Apply steady but slow pressure.

Let her/him lead.

Listen to your partner and let her/him tell you when to push, when to back off, when to add more fingers, and when it’s too much. Fisting can cause muscle and tissue injuries if you go too fast or too hard. Some discomfort during fisting is normal, but you have to take her/his word on the difference between a good hurt and a bad hurt.

All the way in.

The knuckles are the widest part of the hand and the most difficult part to get past the opening of the vagina/anus. You’ll probably run into resistance at that point. Wait until your partner is ready before making the big push. She/he may be able to help by bearing down (as if giving birth or in a bowel movement). Once your knuckles slip past the ring of muscles around the vaginal/anal entrance, the pressure will ease off. Now roll your hand into a fist.


At this point, your partner may or may not want you to make gentle pumping movements with your hand inside her/him, or stimulate her clit/penis etc. Fisting can produce extremely intense sensations, so ask her/him what feels good. When you’re done, make your hand into the wedge shape again, and gently slide out slowly and naturally!

Now the real fun begins... explore, entice, pleasure your partner’s vagina or bottom...

anal fisting

This is something I have really been wanting to receive for some time. I have been close but not quite stretched enough yet. I have many toys(dildos) of various sizes to work with, along with a couple of inflatables, but I think that big red cone is the best to use. I think if I had the right partner that had the time and used enough of my toys, it just may happen

I really want to try fisting

I really want to try fisting but I think it will be painful for me due to my 'different anatomy' but it sounds amazing... but I don't think the guy i'm sort of with at the minute would do something like this to me, he's rather innocent and inexperienced... what can I do to get this feeling through self-pleasure?? x


Me and my wife love fisting although yet I'm not all the way in to the wrist a few more and we gunna be all the way in my wife is petite v sexy and up for most thing's but her main thing is me fingering her she also likes me to stretch her vagina opening her up ......we have on and off been fisting for most of the 20 yrs we have been together only difference being this time we r going to keep it up till we all the anyone thinking of fisting their wife or gf remember its all about her pleasure so listen be gentle if thats what she wants use pkenty plenty lube and be prepared for massive turn on for u both and to all those who already enjoy said practice keep going keep f

Fisting is Fun

My first wife (many decades ago) and I were curious kids. As we experimented with our new-found sexuality I used to work several fingers into her vagina, triggering some serious orgasms (although we didn't know then what was actually happening. It was the Dark Ages of sex information.) As we progressed, I eventually found that I was completely fisting her as often as not. She went wild. Mere copulation wasn't particularly interesting to her after that, although she enjoyed it. My point to this history lesson is that we took it slow, gradually building up from one finger to two, then three. We hit a plateau about that point and it took a few more weeks before she was ready for more. So be patient, use LOTS of lube, and don't force anything. (Unless that's the way you want the relationship to work.) Eventually I had my entire hand inside her vagina and the sensations were amazing for me and mind-blowing for her. So don't give up. Did I mention lube? Use LOTS!

I have a Question

My husband and I have been together for 19 years and he is a freak He loves fisting me and I like it also but he gets crazy with it he wants to do it all the time he is obsessed with it but Im scared that it will hurt me what should I do

LadyL's picture
getting stuck?

A lot of people seem to get to the knuckles part and stop from pain.. I have been there. The two things that helped the most was having extra lube on the back of my boyfriend’s hand, without the lube it got stuck and hurt more. The second thing that helped was bearing down and taking control if the pressure myself.. communication is the key. The first time he could fit his fist in I would not let him move it unless it was out. All that work was worth it fisting is a very intense feeling and it drives me to orgasm in minutes.

um can u give mme some

um can u give mme some pointers on how to fist cause ive tried it with my bf but we cant get past the knuckles

How to fist

I am a petite and my bf is on the large size. He has HUGE hands compared to my vagina. How would be the best way to go about him fisting me? When he gets 2-3 fingers inside me it feels very tight and full. I want him to be able to fist me but I really don't know if it will work. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks for helping :)

LadyL's picture

Note above Talk with your boyfriend and make a game plan. Lots and lots of lube Take it slow.. snail's pace slow. It’s not a race you will have to build up to your boyfriend’s size. It took me three months to get where my boyfriend and his big hand can fit without causing bad pain I was at three fingers and we added a new one for two months and spent the last month working up to those evil knuckles, to be honest that was the most painful part.(when you get to the knuckles Lube is extra important the back of his hand will stick without it and IT HURTS) The first time he could fit his fist in I would not let him move it unless it was out. All that work was worth it fisting is a very intense feeling and it drives me to orgasm in minutes.


Hello everybody,

My wife is a very submissive girl and likes me to be very gentle with her. Myself on the other side can get carried away and be a little rough.
However, NOTHING makes me happier to see her orgasm.
I NEVER and i mean it, jerk off before she does.
I would so wanna fist her, and she's keen to new things, how to start?
The reason i'm asking for ladies advice is because u'd like to know what you like about it, or how would you have it done.


I had a Dominatrix try this on me recently -first time as i had no idea what it really was - she had me in a sling on my back with legs strapped open - first she put on a latex glove and lubed me and slid in one then two fingers. It felt amazing and I relaxed as she pushed in more. Next thing she told me she had 4 fingers in me, which was a first and it felt great. So I told her to try more and soon she had in all five but as she tried to push in her whole hand i had a lot of pain BUT the most incredible internal orgasm ever - maybe like a woman's but I don't know. In fact i checked as i thought i had sprayed cum but no, it was all internal and no semen. I got her to try a few more times and each time i climaxed but wasn't able to fit her all the way. Next time I will try and for a male i can tell you i have NEVER experienced an orgasm like this.

Want to try but can't

I really want to try this - it sounds like it feels so good- but I can barely stand it when my boyfriend tries as little as two fingers. It hurts, and I don't know why.

Gotta admit, ive done it and

Gotta admit, ive done it and love it but, how can I get my husband to do it?? I don't think he will do it, he doesn't even like "toys"

michelle arnold
my trick is to trick them

my trick is to trick them into thinking that it was their idea to fist....not mine. I let him start fingering and add more fingers until they are all in, then when he wants to stop I hang onto his hand and keep pushing it inside. Eventually they get the idea that it feels awsome

is it safe

I I am working on fisting my wife but if I do will it stretch her out so sex is no longer pleasing

michelle arnold
i would have to say it does

i would have to say it does stretch things, but if you can get your fist inside then things are probably already stretched alot and if you start fisting it won't make a difference.


I have been looking for someone experienced to fist me for a few months now and haven't found any in my area. I can only imagine how intense it is to have someones entire hand inside of you. Some guys who have never fisted before have offered but I don't know if it is a good choice to do it with someone who isn't experienced. Can't wait to find a guy who will do this sounds amazing.

fisting toy

ive am a male and ive been fisted numerous times. its been over a year since ive been fisted but i bought a dog toy from a pet store called a kong. i have the large one.i use it all the time and really enjoyed the feeling once it is in. ive masturebated with it in and when i am about to cum i push it out and i get a much more intense orgasm when it pops out of my ass. i use either KY jelly or a slippery lubricane when i use it. it feels great once it is in but may take some time for some people

Cute, sweet, couple, relationship on rocks spiced with fist

Me and my BF have beentogether for 5 Yrs now, we have a 9 mo old baby, my
BF works about 50-60 hrs a week, he is a little more conservative, I'm more open and sexual. We haven't had great sex in years and
Things just weren't looking good as arguments and resentments got worst. I realized, we just needed a great sexual experience. Everything sounds dirty or tiring
To him, and I don't like boring. The other night, I suggested that after baby was asleep, we stay up and have some drinks. We started kissing and carreasing, but he said he was tires from a long day. I told him I was fantasising about
Him all day while he was at work. I said I was so hot and wet and
I just wanted him to feel how wet he makes me. He dick went from limp
To hard in 3 sec. Then I said I wanted him
To fuck my mouth and I wanted to taste his cum cause I miss it. And in exchange, I wanted not oral sex, but my over arroused, wet pussy fisted. He didn't think I would
Actually want to follow through with it. The more fingers-the
More intense, the more amazing!! That night
Blew us both away!!! Best sex ever!!!!

About Fisting

Hello everyone; I enjoy the idea of fisting but don't know how to bring my girlfriend to do it to me..... I feel wierd asking but i really want to experience it with her. What should i do to briing her around?

in reply to new lesbain

start slow, when my wife and i first met i didnt mention my fascination with fisting for some time and as we continued to explore our sexual comfort levels i gradually began to explore the idea of fisting with her. the process slowly moved from 2 fingers to 3 then 4 with me consistently reassuring her that she was beautiful and able to stop at any time. 4 months and a lot of lube later she was able to take my fist for the first time and now enjoys being fisted as much as i enjoy fisting her

I've always wanted to be

I've always wanted to be fisted and multiple people have tried but never succeeded until last night. Each time in the past, when the pain got intense I figured it wasn't going to work and we gave up. Last night, after hours of playing, my buddy decided he was going to fist me. I was tied on all fours, with my hands bound to my ankles and my legs spread wide. He slowly started working his fingers in with lots of lube. When the pain got bad, he told me to push against him so I did. About 30 seconds later his entire fist was inside me and it was amazing. He took pictures so I could see how amazing it looked to have his arm inside my pussy. He sucked my clit while he pounded me with his fist and I squirted all over the place. I'm an addict now!!

have tried but needs advice

what do u mean push against him? do u mean downwards or to the chest ive tried it but it hurts when we get to the knuckles caan u help me in any way i'd apriciate it


2 of my own fingers starts to kinda hurt.... a whole fist scares me!

my wife and i have been into

my wife and i have been into vaginal fisting for almost two years now and our sex life has improved immensly from the experience. lately we have been experimenting with going to the "next level" which includes anal fisting and double vaginal fisting. and each step has been equally rewarding for us. my wife loves the mix of pleasure and pain as we slowly work up to larger and more intense insertions. we also enjoy using large objects to please her. her favorites include wine bottles, multiple sex toys, and a sex toy that was so large that the store classed it as a "novelty" item. we also maintain a "sex diary" to chronicle what we did and with what and the intensity of our individual orgasms. so far we have found that she has the most intense orgasms and often multiple orgasms if she has been vaginally fisted while being anally stimulated, whereas i find it far more difficult to reach a satisfying orgasm without "extreme " sex. so i guess "extreme" sex is our things

I miss being fisted!

Before I was married, my boyfriend fisted me on our last vacation together. I took him all the way in my throat as he rotated and pushed his fist in and out of my wetness until I squirted! He gave me the most intense orgasm of my life. My panties are soaked and my nipples are rock hard as I remember being stretched so wide, so full of him, so deep inside of all of me at once. I was so hot, I begged him to penetrate my anus, which was satisfying, but nothing compared to having my legs spread wide while his hand, wrist and forearm pleasured my deepest desire. If only we had made a video of our lovemaking that night! I married someone else, but I long to be spread wide open, stretched to the max, with his fist moving inside of me, while I take him deep in my throat, giving me an orgasm so intense that I squirt. I have told my husband of my need to be stretched and full, but he does not seem interested. How do I get him to open me wide, and fill me up with his fist?

Well did

Did you tell him how much you enjoyed that one night? 'Cause if you showed him what you wrote here I think he'd be more than happy to pleasure you in this way since it seems to really arouse you.

i just think its funny...coz

i just think its funny...coz aqueous cream...isnt designed to be used as lube, its for skin conditions such as eczema....its a moisturizer..but yes .its gd a lube


I am almost medically to tight for sex(sounds doltish.) I am still a virgin and besides... I do not want to be stretched out that much. I can not even use tampons because of the tightness and it being uncomfortable(yes, I insert them correctly.) I've even talked to my doctor about this... talk about an odd conversation for someone my age. Fisting is just something I am not interested in.


I do feel the need to mention that anal fisting is not without its side effects...permanent side effects. While yes, the anus and spincters ARE muscles, the rectal and colon walls are soft, delicate tissues; these WILL be permanently stretched if you anal fist. Also, the anus is rather elastic, but fisting is mostly limited by bone structure.

Basically, be aware that such stretching of the anus will cause disfigurement on the outside and inside. I've never seen a fist-receiver with a normal-looking anus. And moreso than the risk of tearing the colon is the risk of prolapse; when you stretch and pull at colon tissues, ligaments sometimes release and the inside of the rectum becomes more like a pile of dirty laundry than the smooth tunnel it's supposed to be.

If you want to go to extremes, do depth, not width. Almost two feet of flexible object can be inserted into the colon, and this is highly pleasurable, and won't permanently scar you (although, granted, the colon walls above the rectum are not elastic AT ALL!). Don't insert something that doesn't at least resemble a penis.

michelle arnold
fisting is awsome

as a mom of 3 kids I think it was easier for me than other women. One of my boyfriends introduced me to this and it is totaly a great experience to feel an entire forearm inside of you. Not that much discomfort and we usualy only have vaseline on hand. I try to get all of the guys I'm with to try it on me and they enjoy the power too.

I really want to try this

I really want to try this with my husband!
It sounds amazing... just not sure how to bring this idea of to him!

bringing it up

Have him start by fingering you then just have him keep adding more. Let him know how good it feels as he opens you and see where it goes from there.

Ya I talked to him about it

Ya I talked to him about it and he is not open to the idea of fisting :(

omg!!! it sounds soooo good

omg!!! it sounds soooo good right now, i wanna try it SOOOOO bad!!!

pokry aka oink
wow fisting sond fun but i

wow fisting sond fun but i think it will hert my gf bc i do not now how to do it can some give me some tips.....;)


Having slim hands helps a lot, as you might imagine... to all those girls who think they are too small/tight for it, I can only say that I've introduced every partner to fisting with amazing results. (After all, a hand is way smaller than a baby's head, so as long as she is well relaxed and lubricated, it works.)
The only problem I had was how to remove a well-fisted partner from the ceiling...

help lol

hi me and my husband have been trying to get his fist in me for two nights now we have been able to get all his fingers including his thumb in no worries but then we get really close to getting the whole fist in then one or two of his knuckles really starts to hurt me i was wondering if any one can give me some handy tips that have worked for them it would be much appreciated :)

Have you husband rotate his

Have you husband rotate his hand gently in order to find the orientation that will provide the most flexibility. Everybody's body is different, so depending on your pelvic bone structure, among other things, it may be easier to work a hand in horizontally or vertically.

Typically, the vagina will have more room to stretch front-to-back, than side-to-side.

Take it slowly and don't rush things. It may take a few weeks of regular sessions to accept a full fist, depending on your anatomy and the side of your husband's hand.

me and my bf wanna try it

me and my bf wanna try it but we get really close everytime but it starts hurting sooooo bad.


This is how i lost my virginity.

it hurt, but i'm a kinky bitch, lol!!

i love pain. biting, scratching, sucking, licking, kissing, fisting. all of it!

it was AMAZING- to say the LEAST!!!

i wish i lost it with my current boyfriend, but the past has already happened, but my current boyfriend is afraid of hurting me until i bite his neck! haha!!




I had my gf slave start to work my ass and she can now fist me, she goes into a zone when she does this, it is amazing and cant wait for her to do it again, she is fantastic, now we might try to stretch her pussy so I can fist her! give it a try, it is absolutly incredible feeling!


im open but just thinking something that big in my vagina freaks me out. im not saying its wrong or that it isnt normal, i just cant.

if you like a lil pain or

if you like a lil pain or have a high tollerance for pain its not bad at all. i went from not having sex for 3 months to being fisted... so needless to say i was quite tight. i thought he was just fingerin me nut when it started hurtin a bit and i felt a twisting motion i became quite confused. once i came and he toook his fist out he told me i might wanna check myself. i asked why and he told me i was bleedin cause he had fisted me. i was in shock but it felt amazing that i was moanin. so i guess it was worth itt


My bf wants to try to fist me but I am terrified that he will hurt me.He has very large hands and I am very slight of build...We have managed four fingers but his fingernails really hurt no matter how short they are :(

I really wanna try this

i really wanna try this but im really afraid and shy of showing my body and even if i wasnt afraid or shy about my body appearance... i still would be afraid of asking or hinting to him to fist me.
what can i do?

oh my god that sounds so

oh my god that sounds so painful.... ouch!

Yes it does

Yes it does, but it also sounds good... Have u ever tried it before?

for fisting you want your

for fisting you want your guy to start off really slow and make sure the nails are short take your time, you wont be able to handle it if he tries all at once,it took my bf and i at least four months to be able to do this properly with minimal pain , and after your pussy goes right back down and as tight as it was before..... remember girls your vagina is supposed to be able to stretch for child birth so a fist is nothing


if u get fisted wil u be that big for ever... i am pretty young and me and my bf are pretty serious. i am scared that if he stretches me it wont feel good to fuck me any more.... will i go back to normal or is it a life thing??