You are laying beside your partner, feeling their naked skin caress yours. Their chest rises with every whisper of a breath. You can feel their warm lips against your neck, and all of sudden, the sexually enticing words rush through your body like a jolt of energy. Have you wanted to unleash that wild side of yours through dirty talking, but haven’t found the courage, or don’t even know where to start? Here we have gathered techniques to teach beginners exactly how to do so. There are tips for breathing, body movements, sounds and the actual phrases themselves. The most important thing about talking dirty is how you say it, rather than what you say!

Creating Mood

For some, the first attempt at talking dirty with a partner can seem to be quite awkward. To eliminate some of that initial embarrassment, you should mention both the idea of the experiment to your partner as well as the limit of your desired kinkiness. The latter is created to help avoid a negative reaction from your partner in case you go "buck-wild" too quickly and cross their own personal boundaries. However, this chat should not occur directly before the incident; this could create massive unwanted pressure. Let’s face it – most people do not want be in the bright spot light when beginning to speak dirty.

Creating a sensual mood is an essential basic to letting that naughty side out of you. No, no - - put that Barry White CD down! The aura I have in mind could be considered a little peculiar, for it consists of a rhythm of breaths and body movements, rather than the soft music and candles, as most would expect. Yet you can also use those if you feel it adds to turning you on. This aspect is the most important part of dirty talking, because it is not what you say, but how you say it. You could say the dirtiest thing in the world and yet sound as sexy as an electronic encyclopedia.

Breathing

Stabilizing your respiration is quite significant for it distinguishes the difference between speaking normally, and talking dirty. You should begin by imitating the deep breaths you take in the doctor’s office as he/she listens to your lungs. You have the option of breathing through your nose, mouth or both. If decide to breathe through your mouth, you do not want to form a large “o” shape with your lips. Come on, you are not a pet waiting for a treat from its owner. Instead your mouth should be slightly open, no bigger than the point of your index finger. This seems to produce a more appealing expression...

The speed of the breaths should co-ordinate with the progression occurring from body movements, foreplay or intercourse. If you are about to make sensual love, then the breaths should be slow, and if you are about to imitate a wild rabbit gone mad, then the breaths would obviously be faster.

After accomplishing a stable beat, you should be examining the sound of your respiration. Most importantly, your exhaling should faintly die off. If the exhale breath stays one tone, it could seem abrupt and almost forced. To help you visualize the sound of this breathing technique, picture a roller coaster. As it shimmies up the tracks, you inhale. As it pauses for a mere half a second at the top, so do you. Then as it coasts down the tracks until slowing down for the next hill, you make the initial part of the exhaling breath a little loud and then slowly become quiet. You may want to consider practicing this routine when you are by yourself.

Adding Sounds

Once you feel comfortable with this breathing technique, you can begin to make sounds as you exhale. These sounds should usually be instinctive and relaxed such as "uh," "ah," "oh," or "mmm." Here you are able to comfortably drop your jaw to widen your mouth if wanted. Do not analyze these sounds; there is no need to worry whether you are making a correct sound. If you unsure, a good rule is that you can rarely go wrong with vowels rather than some awkward consonant. For example, perhaps you choose the sound "bah;" you will ultimately sound like one very naughty, moaning sheep.

The trick with these sounds is that you are not being loud; actually you are being quite faint. The desired outcome is for your voice to barely seep out. Technically, this is speech sound articulated by a momentary closing of the glottis in the back of your throat, hence restricting the airflow. In laymen terms, you are making a murmur sound or a loud whisper. This is also commonly known as a “sexy voice.” If you are having difficulty reaching this volume, imagine being backstage at a play. All of a sudden, the main character draws a blank and completely forgets all his lines. It is entirely up to you to whisper the lines loud enough for the actor to hear, but not loud enough for the audience to hear.

Adding Body Movements

To perfect the rhythm, you now want to add body movements. Desirably, the body movements should be in perfect harmony with your respiration; the body movement should begin and end when a breath begins and ends. As you inhale, your chest should ever so slightly rise in an upward and diagonally out motion. Naturally, your shoulders will delicately move backwards and your upper back should arch with this motion.

There are many different techniques for exhaling. You can simply let your chest, shoulders, and upper back return to their original positions. This can resemble a relieving motion. Another option is to add a subtle pelvic thrust. As you inhale, let your lower back arch so your pelvis and buttocks are being pushed outwards. Your abdominal muscles are being elongated. As you exhale, squeeze your buttocks and bring your pelvis forward in a scooping motion, from a side angle, until back to its original position.

To add some difficulty to these movements, try adding an abdominal contraction as you are about to make the scooping motion. A contraction is the tensing of muscles. An abdominal contraction resembles the same motion your abs make if they are about to be unexpectedly punched; your shoulders move a little forward as the abs are pushed against your back. Ultimately, the contraction should make your pelvis finish the scooping motion by delicately going upwards and back down to its original state. From a side view, the path of your pelvis should resemble the digit, "six."

For those looking for even more difficulty, let the quiver of the contraction be heard in the exhale breath. This sound can be quite sexual, for you can tie it to dirty talking concerning ejaculation. Even though all these movements are critical, you do not want to overdo the actions. You aren’t trying to get the attention of a plane. Keep it subtle or you’ll be doomed to the funky chicken dance.

You can also add other smaller body movements to the rhythm such as the arching of your neck, the closing of your eyes, and the clenching of your hand or the biting of your bottom lip.

Further Reading

Now that you have a firm grasp of the basics, you are ready for the next lesson - our Dirty Talk Advanced Guide!