Bisexuality
What is Bisexuality? Dana Carvey while dressed as a woman, in a moment of ironic sexual ambiguity, reportedly said: "A bisexual is a person who reaches down the front of somebody's pants and is satisfied with whatever they find." After the laughter dies, the questions arise.
Bisexuality is the blending of what are now the two primary social sexual orientations - heterosexuality and homosexuality. While there is no hard and fast rule as to which gender someone identifying as a bisexual is attracted to, it generally refers to some form of sexual attraction to either gender. This is not to say that this attraction is evenly distributed between their sexual partners, and often there are varying degrees of same sex attraction and opposite sex attraction.
Bisexuality comes in a full spectrum of options. There are those who dip into their gender pool on every occasion they can, while others may only venture in after too many cocktails! By definition the main distinction between Bi and Hetero/Homo lifestyles is that at some point members of this group will experience "the alternate" gender from time to time. This leads many to believe that bisexuality is simply a margarita mix of homosexual and heterosexual tendencies, but other theorists define it less in a binary way (black or white) and tend to see it as an aesthetic attraction to people without regard for gender.
This less gender specific view of bisexuality has been cause for large amounts of controversy since the term was used in connection with sexual identity in the fifties. Many, in both the straight and gay community, feel that any level of participation in same sex relations is an indication of homosexuality. In this way bisexual people tend to be lumped into a political and social movement that does not necessarily reflect their particular struggles and needs. This is particularly true for self-identified 'try-sexuals' as in "try-anything-once." These tend to be people for whom sex is primarily restricted to members of the opposite sex, but during experimentation will engage in same-sex relations.
In many ways bisexuality challenges much of our conventional understandings of sexual orientation. By its very nature the term precludes simple descriptions and thus simple categorization, leaving it in a sexual limbo, which is where many bisexuals would prefer to remain, between both beds and getting the best of all worlds.
Historical context
One obvious contradiction to our current views of intercourse is the naughty nature of sexual behavior demonstrated throughout world history. From the Spartan-boy lovers in ancient Greece to the shogun emperors of Japan, men have been exercising a less rigid definition of sexual activity for centuries. In fact the only peoples seen having exclusively monosexual relationships over the course of recorded history are those cultures whose social mores are constructed by Judeo-Christian religiosity. It wasn’t until western morality began to privilege heterosexuality over all other forms of the gender attraction that sexual alternatives, to the purely functional reproductive-sex, became stigmatized and marginalized.
This history has been has not been the same for women. Even today in Indian, Arabic and Japanese culture, men, before marriage, have freedom to experiment with same sex relationships, whereas women were expected to engage sexually only within the confines of heterosexual marriage. In each of the aforementioned cultures, in analogous ways, it was young boys that usually participated in gay pleasures, then moving on to bisexual experimentation as young adults and primarily heterosexual marital-relations as adults. Though they may have engaged in, at certain times, homosexual/erotic behavior, they were not considered to be homosexual. The sexual orientation demonstrated during these time periods and in these cultural groups demonstrates a more fluid understanding of sexual identity and how they can change during a person's life.
It has taken far longer for bisexuality to find a voice in western culture. It was platform shoes and disco balls that set the stage for the birth of the contemporary bisexual movement. Though there were earlier communities practicing bisexuality (such as artist communes and "swinger" groups at the turn of the century), they were more closely connected to straight 'sexual liberation' ideology, than to the gay and lesbian community.
The 1970’s brought a more clearly bisexual identity, which was first defined by its support of the gay liberation movement, and then by its alienation, when the gay movement wanted to distance itself from the ambiguity of the bi position. The Gay and Lesbian movement felt that Bisexuality diluted the liberation movement by trying to keep one foot in the straight world. This gave rise to the proliferation of bisexual political organizations throughout the eighties, devoted to supporting the concerns specific to the bi community. The contemporary bisexual movement has focused on category smashing and inclusion of trans-gendered and other sexual and gender minorities. Fighting bi-phobia on both straight and gay fronts, positions the contemporary bi-movement came to be an important tool in the fight against sexual intolerance.
Stigma/ Perception
In a world where sexual identity is often used to draw lines of affiliation and belonging, men and women who belong to the bisexual community often find themselves cast out of both straight and gay groups. This can often cause even more feelings of alienation for young people already struggling with their own sexual identity. Since the gay community sometimes views being ‘bi’ as a cop-out, as a toning down of gay identity to ‘fit in’ to the straight world, bisexual people are treated as inauthentic members of the larger homosexual scene. Conversely the heterosexual majority tends to view female bisexuality as a normal expression of men’s fantasy, and male bisexuality as latent homosexuality. As a result of this neither bi-sexual men nor women tend to feel as though their sexual desires and orientation are recognized as genuine. This can lead to many more feelings of self-doubt and loathing, since the resources available to them for support are far more limited than to their gay and lesbian counterparts.
Knowing the Lingo
There are lots of terms used to reflect the changing nature of bisexuality:
Pansexual - being open to all types of gender orientation, even transgender or intersex people.
Bi-permissive - someone who does not actively seek out same-sex encounters but is open to them.
Bi-curious - can be a person who is not homosexual but is looking for "experimentation."
You can get more information on alternative sexual orientations by reading our articles on Heterosexuality, Homosexuality and Transsexuality.
I have an amazing girlfriend, even though we leave apart, I've never felt closer to anyone. but most of the time, I like to look at other dicks and wonder how if feels to get it from behind.
Hi I'm 16 and have an amazing girlfriend but I think I'm bi-cerous how do I know for sure I am? Help please?
I came out of the bi-closet 2 years ago and everyone was ok with it . What makes me sad/mad is that my female friends usually invite me to their house and try to make-out with me . like in may last year on off my best friends pinned me to her closet floor and kissed me ,i didn't like her like that but i didn't want to hurt her so i let her have her way. In the end she told our other best friend that I was all over her and that I rapped her but now she's mad at me.......
I think I like guys? xD Because I've had small crushes during high school and down, but for some reason my crush for my best friend is so strong that I feel like I'm straight but into only one particular girl!! Is it weird to think that I'm straight but into only my best friend? I don't consider it homosexual or heterosexual at all. Nor bi-curious. I mean...she's the only one that makes me feel loved, no other girls make fireworks go off in my heart or butterflies in my stomach. Guys are cute and I admire them, but I'm in love with my best friend who could most likely not return my feelings! I'm confused on it all lol.
This sounds a bit stupid, but I had no idea there was a term to being attracted to people who were also transgender / intersexed people.
I knew from an early age that I was bisexual, and when I got older started getting noticing I was attracted to just people in general.
I guess that it's something that never occurred to me before, or I didn't even know had a name.
About a year/year and a half ago, I find the term for it, and I was excited because well, I don't feel like I fit into a box of just being bisexual.
And that there was more to it all. :)
I am a straight girl but i think I am starting to like girls to how do I kno? I kno it sounds like a stupid question but I need advice
Ive been bi curious too lately. I know I like guys but usually I use images of women to turn myself on in masturbation (if I use images at all) so it makes me wonder if it's genuine or just a n in-the-moment-thing....so it's not a stupid question.
;)
i think i am bisexual... but im not sure. i fell attracted to some girls... but still prefer guys. ive never acctually dated a girl but i have been curious if im as attracted to girls as i think i am. i need advice.
when I came out as bisexual I got told I was greedy! yes greedy! it really pissed me off at first but I am who I am and no one can change it, I don't care if people don't like it when I kiss a girl in public it's just like a girl kissing a boy. anyway rant over
email me onehornygirl@hotmail.co.uk
who cares if your greed we are who we are and no one can change us
I am with a man that I love very much. Our relationship is good. Sex is great though at times I want it more than he does. He likes to play with me anally but doesn't want me to him. I recently found out that he had been on 2 shemale/tranny sites which he will not admit to but I know he was. I know he had an experience when he was very young with another male but have no details of it. I am open to pleasing him sexually but he is very closed off to anything other than traditional between us besides the anal play on me. Do I need to be concerned?? Does this mean he may cheat on me with a man if the chance arose?? Is he just sexually curious and afraid of judgement from me therefore he won't be honest with me about what he really would like?? I am confused and concerned. I love this man and don't want to have my heart broken.
I personally think you should just bring up the idea of having a threesome with a tranny I know he is very traditional with you but maybe it's just cause he wants to do it with a tranny so just invite one in your bed that way you can have your non traditional sex life and he won't feel judged and he may even find out if he actually likes it or not
im 15 yr guy and the majority of my friends think im either gay or bi because i dont show interest in anyone and ive never dated anyone. im not sure myself if im bi but i prefer women, men may also be an option too but im not 100% sure if i would be ok with that...
I get turned on by girls, and guys.. Never tested the female waters. What and how do I?
this is her best friend and im bi and she is wants to be bi......and i dont mind dateing her to see if she will like it but im just worried and idk if its bc that we are so close that im just worried over nothing but idk if its me and my worrin or wat
i think u both sure try to date eachother. it would be great expetience for both of u and u never know, u guys might actually be perfect for each other i wa once in this situation before and im still with her
a friend (who's bisexual) reckons I'm bisexual because I said id experiment with a girl, I get turned on when I watch lesbian porn and if I think about kissing a girl or letting a girl go down on me but I can't imagine myself with a girlfriend, I also love boys too but I've never actually been with one I'm 16 and still a virgin. I've been really confused because I don't know what I am, I haven't told anyone because I'm not sure about my feelings, is this just a phase I'm going though or am I bisexual or bi-curious? :S
Your probably just curious. Your only 16, you've got alot of things still to come in your life and your just exploring who you are and want you want. Which is absolutely fine :)- Eddy
Well my problem is that I can't choose what I am! I know I'm bi but once I get with a girl Its not really like the wonderful experience I have when I go out with a guy. I feel wierd because ever since I've been eight I have been looking at girls the way I do with guys! I don't like them for sex because I don't ever think of me and a girl doing that! Help. :(
I have known that i was bi since i was 12 im 15 now and i am still a virgin and i am still confuzed about what i really am. When i watch porn i always click on the section with many people doing it at the same time and i get turned on with both guys and girls i have comed out to my friends and they are okay with it and it is difficult not to stare at girls in my classes that i think i might like and i feel the same for guys??? I dont know if its a phase im going through or its my mind messing with me hopefully more people can help me and give me advise thanks!!!!!!!
I;ve liked females and males ever since i could remember, liek about age 5. I know that sounds weird but i rmeber watching barney and thinking those girls were so do-able. being i na fmaily thats sex crazed can be hectic to a child's mind. but how ever, i have came out at all, only to my friends.I'm not a virgin but last year i thought i was crazy wen i started looking at my best friend in a sexual way! but just test it out, try kissing a girl and see if it disgusts you, try truth or dare with friends, both guys and girls, if you enjoy it, your are infact bi. in my opinion, girls are very tasty ;) I'm 15 as well.
I recently told my GF of 2 years that i was Bi-sexual. Right after that, she broke up with me. People now are far to intolerant of LGBT.
But on a better note, if anyone (guys or girls) ever feels like talking dirty, i'd love to ;)
im sorry that happened. and thats how people have been taught these days that people that are bi or gay arent right. if i had been her i would have wanted you to explain but i wouldnt have broke up with you because i would have loved you for the true you. but then again i was rasied that way.
Well, im only 14, but i know that im bi. and so many people arent okay with it. Im not a virgin, and i finally came out with it a couple of weeks ago, and my boyfriend broke up with me because he thought it was weird for me to have had sex with both genders. My girlfriend has always been open, shes a lesbian, but i really hate the expression on peoples faces at school when we hug and kiss. My parents hate this too because they are total homophobes. What do I do, message or email me answers please, im so desperate!
It's all up to you, hun. You realized how you truly felt and are open with it. Don't listen to those that hate, it's not their place to try and change you. Do what feels right :)
i think you should do what you do its your life and how you control it is up to you
Im 15 year old guy and i know im bisexual. i have strong feelings towards guys, but i love girls too. how do i come out to my parents? also, my best friend is a bi girl and i have this massive crush on her... and her boyfriend is sooooo hooooot! my friend and i are pretty open towards each other, but her bf is so uptight... help please?
Well I'm younger than you so this'll probably sound stupid, but you should just come out and tell your parents. On a day when everything is relaxed and okay (like nobody is stressed or anything) ask to have a private discussion with your parents and tell them in no uncertain terms that you are who you are. If you're not comfortable with telling your parents yet, tell another trusting adult. I told an adult about my worries of being unsure of my preferred sexuality, and she assured me and helped me calm myself down about it. So if you're not sure about coming out just do it slowly.
Good luck on the friend and boyfriend, by the way. Honest, I hope this all works out for you :)
i think im bisexual but maybe its just a phase or something and what if its not a phase what will i tell my friends and what will think of me afterwards i tell them everything no matter what and vise versa but will they not like me anymore or will they blab out my secret or feel uncomfortable around me or totally fine i mean im not attracted to them that way but i get horny looking at naked girls in movies or pictures and stuff like that but then im attrated to men also im just so confused could someone help me becuase i really dont think its a phase ive had these feelings for like 11 months sometimes i feel like such a for whore and then i go into denial then other times im proud of what i probably am is this right
If they are truly your fronds they will understand and accept how you are. Don't be afraid of it being a phase or not. If it is then try not to sweat it, but if not, best to accept it. It's how you are.:)
I have never been with a girl, but for past year looking at breasts makes me cum more then sex with a guy. Right now I really do not want to have sex with a guy.
can someone help my confusion?
then you are probably just bi-curious for now. you want to see what its like with a woman. u should try it out idk how girls get to talking about it tho im a guy and it was a bit easy for me to get in his pants
i love my men and i love my women, and i love my women who love 2 see me with my men. :)
I am 46 and I recently had my first experience with being with a man. I have thought about his before but never acted on it. My girlfriend would sometimes play with my ass and every now and then she would use a dildo on me and I like it but when it came to being with another man I was reluctant to act on it. But, I was out camping recently and when I went to take a shower I was thinking of my girlfriend while I was in the shower and I decided to masturbate while I was in the shower and I had my eyes closed and was playing with myself in the shower and I must have been moaning while I was doing it and didn't here anyone come into the building and the next thing I knew there was a guy standing in front of me and he was naked and standing erect right in front of me. The first thing I thought was oh crap I'm busted but then he grabbed my hand and put it on his member and I just stood there and didn't move and then he put his hand on my member and started to stroke me so I figured I would return this action and started stroking his. He then put his hands on my shoulders and slowly pushed me down to where his cock was right in front of my mouth and then he put it on my lips and I did not know what to do. He then pushed his cock into my mouth and I opened and let him slide it in and I just couldn't help myself when he did this and so I just went with the flow of his movements and let him do his thing and the whole time I was getting really excited about tasting his cum and when he finally had his orgasm he was pretty deep in my mouth and I had no choice but to swallow and at first I kind of gagged but then it got easier with each shot. When he finished he pulled it out of my mouth and left the shower. I had to finish masturbating in the shower. Since the experience I have started to wonder if I am BI cause I can't stop thinking about it and each time I think about it I get really horny and want to try more with a man but am afraid to act on these feelings. I must say that I love the feel and touch of a woman but after this experience I desire to have more sex with a man. I'm starting to question my sexuality and these mixed feelings. Are these normal feelings for me tobe having?
im a straight guy, only into girls, would never date guys but sometimes i think gay porn and watching 2 guys suck eachother is hot and want to try stroking with a guy and sucking eachother off, nothing else only those 2 things...does that make me bi?
well there is a such this as bi-curious
maybe your just courious wish i could help you out somemore sorry
ok so I think my best friend is in denial about bein bi and I am in love with him we messed around b4 and yet he is homophobic so i am seriously confused as to what his sexual identity is I know that he is not completely strait but I just dont know if its possable that he is struggling with it this himself and if he is what can i do to help him
sorry that sounds like it sucks just ask them how they feel
I had the same problem with a girl I go to school with. Just don't ever be pushy, let him make all the moves. Make it obvious how you feel and give him lots of opportunities and if he takes them keep asking if he's ok with it. It will be really fustrating but if you love him them his feelings are the most important thing. :)
I don't know, I've fantasized to both men and women, and I know for a fact that I'm of a bi sexuality. But the pressure around me makes me think otherwise. My older brother has been teasing me "gay" since I was little, thus making me feel uncomfortable. I'm 15, by the way. So, am I really bi or... gay? :|
well I knew I was bi since I was 9 but thats cause I had sex with my best friend back then and then whith this girl from my class, but as long as you are still attracted to girls and boys you are bi,
i am bi and have realised i was since bout the age of 10 when u realise that boys are cute...i starting thinking tghe same about girls...but what annoys me the most is that its tunring into a fashion..people are sayinh they are bi just be liked
im 19yrs old i have a daughter and a boyfriend but i think im attracted to females too....i watch lesbian porn and get turned on..i feel an urge to eat pussy and suck my mans dick and receive head from a girl and my bf...i just dnt kno how to tell him that...
Just tell him. most guys actually love the idea of thier gf with another girl... especially if its at the same time as them!
I fantasise all the time about having my bf lick my clit while im doing the same to another woman. Theres nothing wrong with being curious and if your with somebody that doesnt approve then you can always fantasise like i do ;)
Hello, i am a 14 year old girl soon to be 15, yes i know i am young, but i am also very confused.
First off, i like the oppasite sex alot, but have recently been speaking to someone from my school who is bisexual and i feel as if i am beginning to like her, she also said she likes me. The reason i need help is because im not sure to wether this is a fase or things playing on my mind.
It has been lasting around about 4 months now and i feel i am getting stronger for her. Thing is, i have never felt it for any other girls besides from her. Then again, liking someone can lead to another.
Also its the same type of feelings i get for the oppasite sex.
Please can someone just help me in anyway, tell me what it could be or might be, i know i am but 14 but i dont like the way my mind is acting and i need some help. Thankyou to anyone to try's helping me.
I first realize i was bi when i was 11. me n my friend alex(guy) would do everything together naked. we would sleep together play video games naked and even wrestle. he was the first one to give me a blow job and vice versa. the way this all started?
he talked about masturbation and showed me how. maybe thats how you can guys can start just masturbating and if ur turned on by her masturbating lead up to kissing. i hope this helps let me know!
I Realised that i started likeing girls at the age of 11 and at that is it ewas very confusing to me...but eventually i realised those feeling were not going away...time will only tell. And if those feeling for you do not go wawy...try a same sex relationship...u've got nothing to loose
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