Stuck being single...

Q. I have been single for 6 years now because of my own immaturity. I was not willing to grow up and now I am 34 years old and the pool is pretty much contaminated. Not to mention I do get nervous talking to single women. It is different if women are in a relationship because there is no hope me getting anywhere, so I can be myself.


A. You don’t give a lot of detail in your question, so my answer has to be in fairly general terms. The main reasons you aren’t making progress is that you seem to have poor Self Esteem, a negative attitude to others, and overall have given up trying. The past is behind you and cannot be changed, so concentrate on making the most of the present and the future – because that CAN be changed!

You are still relatively young and you might be surprised that there are probably many more potential partners out there than you imagine. You simply need to know how to approach them and make the most of the assets you have to interest them in you. There are a number of excellent editorials on this site that can help you to overcome your worries:

    Start by taking a good look at yourself - make sure you appear presentable and display attractive Male Body Language.

    Establish a meaningful bond with the ladies by exploring ways to Make a Connection with them; talk to them about things of interest to them as suggested in 5 Conversation Tips.

    Use these tips to interact in a confident and positive way toward women who are not in a relationship (just as you say you do to others who are).

    If you still aren’t sure whether you have really hit it off, then check out Is She Attracted to You?

Above all, don't give up hope. Practice and refine your techniques and you WILL (sooner-or-later) succeed. Remember that you don't have to be perfect - you only have to be perfect for her!