No pre-marital sex...
Q. My girlfriend and I have been going out for a few months now and we're pretty comfortable with each other. However she doesn't believe in pre-marital sex, but she's open for anything before that, and she emphasizes anything. All we do right now is basic foreplay, what are some things I can do to make it more interesting?
A. By pre-marital sex I am going to assume you mean penetrative vaginal and/or anal sex. You should both check out our editorial Am I Ready (For Her) – this will give her some guidance on how to know when she is mentally & physically ready for that first ‘full’ sexual relationship.
Then both of you should read all of our many articles on Kissing, Foreplay, how to Masturbate Together, Sensual/Sexual Massage … and perhaps the Oral Sex section. Reading these should help her define her boundaries as to exactly what she means by ‘open for anything’ (your interpretation of that will almost certainly be at least a little different from hers). It will also give you loads of new ideas and variations to explore.
The most important thing is to respect each others boundaries and only go as far as you are BOTH comfortable with.
We are conditioned as children to believe that sex is something to be shared between two married people. Many kids, and especially girls, start their first few relationships wanting to hold off until marriage. But sex is something that can be practiced by any who is mature enough, married or not. It is up to you to decide how you feel about the issue. Don't be bullied into believing anything. Not by your parents, your S.O., your friends, your church, or your state.
Respect your girlfriends wishes. If she is uncomfortable with it, you shouldn't push too hard. But she must also respect your wishes. That is to say, if you want a sexual component in your relationships, and she can't give that to you, you are free to pursue someone else who does. Relationships are an open market like that.
I was holding out because I had never found the right guy or had the right moment before Dave (three weeks ago) AND I was actually really proud of being a virgin and wanted to hold off as long as possible, which I decided would be Spring Break this year so my bf and I could rent a cabin (it was also really important to me to be able to spend the night with him). However, one day my parents left us alone in the house (we're both 18, but our parents are pretty strict) and it got REALLY hot and just felt right. That first night I had to spend without him SUCKED, but after that it was ok. It actually didn't turn out to be as much of a big deal as I expected (hoped). And now, when we fool around, there's a lot less stress because we're not trying to not have sex.
What she is doing is right - in the long run she is making you wait - commonly known as "playing hard to get". This will make you want her SO bad and when you finally get her it will be the most amazing experience. You will never want anyone else, you DID stick with her...
:D
My girlfriend and I are 16 and have been dating for over a year. We do not plan on having sex anytime soon if at all. What are peoples opinions on this?