Pain during rear-entry positions

Q. I like to have doggy style sex with my wife, and even though she enjoys that, it is usually very painful for her. Should it be painful? Am I doing something incorrectly? We have tried using a few pillows under her but it still hurts. If there is something I’m not doing correctly, what else can I try? I get a lot of pleasure in this position.

A. Doggy Style is a very popular rear-entry position for sex. For the penetrating partner, rear-entry provides an awesome viewing angle of their partner's body and affords them the freedom to use their hands to stimulate the receiving partner's back, chest, genitals and buttocks. Naturally, receiving partners will enjoy the extra physical attention plus female receivers may find that G-spot stimulation in this position is first rate. And there's just something so naughty about Doggy Style, adding even more fuel to the fire.

However, one of the major downsides of rear entry sex is that it may actually hurt and, in some cases, cause receivers to avoid the position altogether. Such pain could be caused by a number of things:

    - The extra depth of penetration is just too intense for some women to handle, many describing the sensation as the penis contacting the cervix with far too much pressure.

    - Another reason for experiencing pain may be due to the fact that the lack of face-to-face is less intimate. With no eye contact and less opportunity to kiss, your wife might require more foreplay or an assortment of sex-positions to elevate the arousal required, especially for adequate lubrication.

    - Some women find it more difficult to relax their vaginal muscles in this position, so much so that their muscles end up feeling constricted and subsequently feel sore during sex.

    - Her hormone levels will impact her physical reaction to vaginal stimulation. There are times during her menstrual cycle that are more conducive to a positive sexual experience. Pregnancy, menopause, and her particular form of birth control will also have a bearing.

    - A lack of lubrication can definitely cause rise for discomfort. Avoid Excessive Dryness by using a good quality Lubricant when you play, and make sure she's well aroused before attempting intercourse.

Fortunately for you and your wife, all is not lost. There are plenty of ways to experience Rear Entry sex that can be found in our Sex Positions Guide. For example, check out Doggy Style – Standing - or other variations while you're sitting, lying down side by side, or when you're laid out on your back. Lastly, before you go deeper than what's she ready for, work your way up to rear-entry by starting with Face to Face positions, or those that encourage shallower strokes.