Not Getting Enough Oral (fellatio)

Q. My girlfriend and I have been having sex for about a year now and she simply does not like giving me oral sex. She tells me it is mainly the taste she doesn't enjoy rather than the physical part of the act. She has no problem if I give her oral, but says she doesn't enjoy doing it back to me. Every now and again, she'll be in the mood to give me some head, but that's only once or twice a month and is becoming less and less frequent. Is there anything I can do to make her enjoy it enough to want to do it more often?


A. Her blowjob hang-ups sound like they're getting you down. It's one thing to receive bad blowjobs, but hardly any at all?

When someone you're intimately involved with says they don't like to give pleasure, it truly does suck - and in your case, that's the only sucking going on. One thing's certain; if you aren't getting oral loving' now, there's no chance she'll wake up one day and decide she suddenly likes it, especially if you keep letting sleeping dogs lie.

You can't make your girlfriend do anything she doesn't want to do, but you can let her know it upsets you that she's being stingy about giving blowjobs. Being in a healthy sexual relationship is all about generosity and reciprocity. When one party gets to receive sexual favors without giving back - the ultimate oral treason - it affects the dynamic of the relationship and wears on the person who's consistent about meeting their partner's needs.

With that being said, she may have legitimate reasons for not wanting performing Fellatio. Perhaps she has a strong gag reflex, which is seriously exacerbated if you thrust your penis deep into her mouth every time you get really excited. Alternatively, she may not be confident about her oral artistry, or is uncomfortable with the act because of a prior negative experience. She also could have been conditioned to believe that the genitals are dirty (both literally and figuratively), or that giving oral is degrading - an absurdity when you have a respectful, caring partner.

If the problem truly has to do with your manly flavor, follow our instructions in My Girlfriend Doesn't Like The Way I Taste. However, she may just be using taste as an excuse to avoid discussing a deeper issue. If this case, set the stage for an honest and unpressured conversation with your lady, approach the situation with sensitivity, and settle your blowjob deficit another day.