Q. When my boyfriend goes down on me, I don't really feel anything. I often fake it when he does. Is it him or me? I think I have a little trouble getting an orgasm anyway, so maybe it's me. I would like to feel more pleasure in my clitoris. When I masturbate I get the job done, but I'd like for it to happen more often with him. Is there anything I can do?
A. Faking doesn't fix things; it makes matters worse. It has the potential to create a terrible rift in your sex life, and may lead you to look outside the relationship for sexual satisfaction.
It's understandable that you might want to spare his ego, but what's the point of performing the incredible "O" if it doesn't serve either of you? Sure it might feel awkward to bring it up, but practicing non-disclosure can creep negatively into many other aspects of this relationship - and any other ones that might follow.
Sure, you can take matters in to your own hands, bringing yourself to Orgasm when he isn't around - but the sexual barrier between the two of you is bound never to improve on its own. If you aren't sexually compatible, or have issues in the relationship that prevent you from letting your guard down around him, then you need to talk to him about it.
Give your boyfriend a fighting chance. Allow him the opportunity to learn what needs to be done to bring you to climax; in fact, show him how through vocal/physical encouragement! Ultimately, if performing Cunnilingus isn't his strong point, at least show him other things he can try … such as sucking your breasts or using a Sex Toy, while you do the job yourself. At least then you'll be acting authentically, an important trait in mature, mutually satisfying relationships.