Can her first time be painless?

Q. I need to know the best way to make my girls first time as painless as possible. I love my girl so much and I really don’t want to hurt her. I keep hearing that the first time hurts. Please help!

A. Gain some experience ahead of time. You want to have explored foreplay for quite awhile before you take the plunge. Having a good understanding of how your and her body works as well as having played together will take away much of the tension. Make sure that you feel 100% comfortable in the nude with the lights on, as having sex will be much more intimate then when looking at each other.

Communication is the most important thing in a sexual relationship. Make sure to talk about doing it ahead of time to make sure that you are both thinking the same thing. Getting the topic out in the open allows you to become more comfortable with the whole thing.

Most women feel pain during intercourse the first few times because they aren’t used to having an object penetrating them. This can be reduced dramatically through fingering. Whether she fingers herself or you finger her, stretching out her vaginal opening will definitely improve the experience.

Stop when ever either of you wants, whether you haven’t started, are starting, or are well under way. It may be because you or she are getting cold feet, or something about the situation feels wrong, the reason can be anything.

Excessive dryness of the vagina can be a problem, especially when nervous of the first time experience of intercourse. Although lubricant will not stop all the pain, it will definitely decrease it to some extent. K-Y Jelly is most often recommended, and it can be purchased in our online store.

There are a few positions that are really good for starting out, depending on her concerns. If she wants to be in control, then we suggest having you lay on your back, and she can straddle you Cowgirl style. If she would rather be on the bottom, the missionary position is probably the best way to start.

Read our articles (preferably together) on Her First Time for more tips…


well busting the hymen hurts
my dear friend

but truthfully i would
have oral sex the first few times(with the exception
of fingering) then move on to vaginal intercourse>

My first time did hurt but

My first time did hurt but honestly.. the best way i lost my virginity was me being ontop... i got to control everything and it didnt hurt as much as what i was expecting!

moving my waste


my first time didnt hurt...I

my first time didnt hurt...I guess there was so much foreplay and we were both so relaxed and comfortable. I did feel my cherry pop..felt just like your water breaking when you go into labour. Just make sure both are comfortable.. if both are nervous.. its not gonna work.. make sure she is plenty wet even if you have to bring some lube and listen to each other more then the body with first time..go slow.. and above anything else... WEAR A CONDOM!! UNLESS YOU ARE READY TO BE A DADDY!!!! IT ONLY TAKES 1 TIME!!

I didnt have any problems

I didnt have any problems the first time. I didnt bleed and it didnt hurt either. I think it was because he fingered me for such a long time before we had sex that by him doing that it made it a lot easier and less painful for me.

neither did i

i was the same way. when my bf and i did it for the first time i didn't bleed and it didn't hurt at all. it actually felt REALLY good. =]] haha but everyone is different. i think it didn't hurt me because i played sports a lot and i use tampons on my period. stuff like that can help pop your cherry. but mine wasn't fully popped. one time my bf and i were having sex and we were going to change positions so he pulled out and there was blood on the condom. [[and NO i didn't start my period]] i didn't feel any pain but i just started bleeding. and then i found out that my cherry was fully popped. =]] everyone's body is different so you shouldn't be embarrassed if you're different from someone else. =]] if you have any questions.....just ask. =]] maybe i can help.

<3 sextigger91


hey. i am in my first relationship ever and im 17. my bf will be 18 in like 2 weeks. we have been together for a month now. i asked him one day when he was at my house if he ever thought of sex. he said he had. so now we have been talking about it. last time i saw him we went outside at night and he asked if he could go south and after a minute i said yes. it turned me on sooo much. now the next time we see eachother he is going to go north. the thing is i also want him to take my shirt off. now he has never had a gf either so we r both new to this. we are thinking of having sex in the future. with protection. duh. but their are things im unshure of and eneyone that can help. please do. thanks to eneyone that can help.

two questions!

two questions:

- me and my boyfriend have been going out for a year now and we are very comfortable talking about sex and other things together. the thing that really bothers me is that i have not started my period yet and he wants to have sex with me, but he understands that we need to get some answers before we begin. we are very comfortable with each other and he will understand if we need to wait. thanks!

- what are some good sex positions that beginners would enjoy and isn't painful? we have looked and we see some that we would be interested in, but we need to make sure that it isn't painful since we are both beginners!

If you haven't started your

If you haven't started your period yet, then I'm guessing you are pretty young. You would probably be well advised to wait a while. You are very susceptible to STDs at this young age, so be careful. Aalso do not assume you cannot get pregnant. While it is unlikely, it is possible. If you do decide to go ahead be sure to use as much protection as possible. Condom and spermicide would be a good idea.

Your boyfriend will need to approach you with a great deal of care. If he is not a virgin he will have some idea of what your needs are. If he is a virgin he needs to understand your anatomy and your fears. Doing some research and talking to those with experience, like your older friends, or people here should make it a better experience. Most likely you laying on your back in a comfortable position with him doing the work will be the best for you. I know some girls prefer to be on top, but I think you'll find it better if you can be in a more relaxed position.

Good luck. I'd love to hear what you decide to do.

My first time....

My first time (im still with the guy)... It hurt so bad i cried and i almost killed him. I had my hands around his throat and choking him which he didnt like but i bleed a lot! It really did hurt and still 2 years later it still hurts when he goes in then 1 min later it stops hurting. Idk why??

well does he finger you

well does he finger you beforehand? that helps with me cause i don't think it should hurt still when it first go in. also maybe a dab of lubricant can help. but as long as it feels good =) everyone is different.

im 14 going on 15 and my

im 14 going on 15 and my boyfriend and i both want to have sex but we're never alone ..
soo we dont kno what to do any advice, ideas HELP!!!!!


Just wait,
me and my boyfriend planned it out for ages... I was only 15, he was 14. Best advice, wait until either of your parents go shopping, kick any of your brothers or sisters out of the house, and if you're truly ready (and its not just because you're hormonal teenagers) then do it! :3
Im 16 now, and i still have to do that.
Lifes tough :P

hardly alone

me and my bf are hardly ever alone but we do it anyway lol we go upstairs in his room. his parents are usually downstairs when we do it but we don't wanna get caught so we don't do it for very long. lol

My first time

My first time of sex was painless.
The main reason, my hymen had already been broken. I dont know why, but it was extremely easy for me...
I broke it at quite a young age, i didn't start having sex until i was 15 and it was far before then.

Breaking my hymen was painless because i masterbated in the bath, it broke, and i barely felt a thing! i had only fully understood what had happened the first time i had sex, when i knew it didn't hurt, or bleed.

My boyfriend was a bit upset about it, but he trusts me that it happened simply because of masterbation, and not of any dirty dealings before i met him :x

i want 2 kno more

what exactly did u use? id like 2 copy u. lol. my bf doesnt want 2 hurt me and this would be perfect. plz?

i wish

i hope my 1st time'll be like yours :P
my hymen broke too, but god did it hurt. i was horseback riding and we were trotting down a hill (the horse had a gait like he was trying to pound my spine into my skull) and i slid too far forward in the saddle...i landed right on the saddle horn >.< i almost fell off my horse it hurt so f***ing bad.

broken hymen

im still a virgin but i have played with a dildo and idk it hurt alot but there as no blood i cant think of ever breaking it i dont think i ever had one is that posisble

im scared

im 14 and im super scared bout my first time. my bf (soulmate) and i r willing 2 wait til marrage but i still really want 2 kno more bout it. im very small and he isnt. most of the time i cant even finger myself with 2 fingers without it hurting so much that i hav 2 stop. he says he doesnt want 2 hurt me at all so were going 2 wait. but im not sure if i want 2 wait that long. i want 2 kno more bout a girls first time but i cant find what im looking 4. a little help here???

I was the same, I couldnt

I was the same, I couldnt fit 2 fingers inside myself now I have lost my virginty and my bf can fit 3 fingers in quiet happily or even 4! lol and it is very pleasureable, you are bound to be tight at you are a virgin when you lose your virginty you will become alot wider. As u r very young i would suggest you wait until you are sure he is the guy u want to lose it too.
A girls first time depending on weather the hymen has already broken or not it can break from masturbation, sports, or even just jumping or running about. If the hyman is not broken it is more likely to hurt, the pain normally last for a couple of minutes then it becomes less painful, for me it did not hurt but I did bleed but it did not spoil the moment.

there's no hurry

hunny, if you are scared, i would recommend waiting a while. sex is a very big deal and can be damaging if you're not with someone you're completely comfortable with. however, it can also be the most beautiful experience of your life if executed correctly. i think you should wait a bit, but here's some pointers anyway.

the best thing you can do is slowly ease into things. start by having him finger you with one and move up a finger whenever it's comfortable. please, do not rush things. me and my boyfriend tried to jump right into the sex our first time, and it caused my vagina to split, bleed a lot, and give me a lot of pain. however, in time i learned that easing in finger by finger makes it easier, much more enjoyable, and intimate.

one last thing! when he does get his penis to fit inside of you, do your best to relax. my first time, i was very tense, and it made it very hard for him to pop my cherry. just relax, embrace him, pull him in even if it hurts. the pain will subside, and it will start to become enjoyable soon enough.

good luck hun, you'll be ok

Hey xxanime2emoxx I am Katy

Hey xxanime2emoxx

I am Katy but I am still a virgin so I can't tell you how it feels the first time. But I am going to say that if you are scared wait and if he loves you he will wait. And not everybody is going to enjoy fingering. If it is painful for you to finger yourself with two fingers only use one and if it is still to painful don't do it. Sometimes we aren't ready it do it yet. I am 16 and I started masturbating at the age of 10 and when I first started I couldn't finger myself but now I can finger myself. It will take alittle bit for you to be ready and enjoy it so don't rush yourself. You will get there sooner or later.

Hope I helped. Message me if I did or didn't



i was wondering if when you first start doing it, does the woman's vagina start to bleed, because i was wondering if u can stop it from doing that.

by the way im 14 and single

don't worry;

most women bleed during their first time, it's completely normal. this is the hymen, or cherry, rupturing. and as far as i know, there are no ways of stopping it.


one of my oldest friends asked me to have sex with her so she can lose her virginity but do it with sum1 she trusts, im 15 and shes 14 and shes afraid of blood and i want to help her but shes afraid of blood so i need some tips on how to help with that

First Tiime

How do u know when your hymen has split, and this is gona sound sooo stupid, but where is the hymen? OMG how embarrasing! Me and my boyfriend are gona have our first tym, and i just really wanted to know how bad it'll hurt, and will i bleed, btw, i'm using my friends account, so its not the same person. x

Super tightness

Me and my girl friend want to have sex but i dont think she does cause she is super tigjt and evry time i try to even finger her she says stopp i ciant even put half a finger in i have read here that geting.comfertable and using forplay is good and then mo e on to slow fingering that will losen her up but not one figure can go in not eve. Half please help with her super tightness


Me and my fiance have been wanting to have sex for a while now...but I'm so scared! I'm still a virgin, and it even hurts for him to finger me. I have to tell him to stop when he's only halfway in :( I need to know that i'm not the only one going through this. I'm terrified. He hates to see me in pain and stops fingering me when he can tell it hurts. it sucks! How can I make this easier and less painful?

Oral sex

Oral works great. My gf & I were no first timers but she had a mega tight vagina. I eat her out & she loved it, it made her relaxed & loosened her a bit. Embrace & feel each other fondle with each other pubic areas & don't rush a 2 hour sex session is much more enjoyable than a 15 minute quicky.

Hey I might be alittle late


I might be alittle late on responding to your post because I just got my account and let me tell you that you ARE NOT ALONE I am the same way. I am still a virgin and I am 16 years old all my friends are having sex and losing there V cards and the. Ther is me who still had her V card. They think I am stupid for not having sex but I am in love with an 18 year old and if we get caught, or I say something to someone, or I get pregnat he will be thrown in jail and I don't want that. The first time when I was fingered it hurt me so badly that I was crying and the guy who was doing it to me stopped and waited until I was ready to try it again. I haven't tried anything with my boyfriend yet and I am scared to but you are not alone many women have the same problem. One thing you can do is try fingering yourself without him there. And second try having him finger you in the shower. I might be young and it might sound word comng from someone my age but if you finger yourself in the shower or have him finger you in the shower it feels AMAZING!!!!! And it doesn't hurt as bad in the shower because you are always wet and you won't have any dryness, well pu might have some but web I finger myslf in the shower I don't have any dryness because I am always wet.

I hope this helped. Message me if it did or didn't because I would like to know.


Well, I've been looking into

Well, I've been looking into this site a bit and I've been wondering if anything like this was going to pop up
Is there anyway besides fingering to keep it from hurting when you're both virgins because honestly when he tries to finger it hurts and I don't know why because I do it to myself a lot. So I don't know