Q. I need to know the best way to make my girls first time as painless as possible. I love my girl so much and I really don’t want to hurt her. I keep hearing that the first time hurts. Please help!
A. Gain some experience ahead of time. You want to have explored foreplay for quite awhile before you take the plunge. Having a good understanding of how your and her body works as well as having played together will take away much of the tension. Make sure that you feel 100% comfortable in the nude with the lights on, as having sex will be much more intimate then when looking at each other.
Communication is the most important thing in a sexual relationship. Make sure to talk about doing it ahead of time to make sure that you are both thinking the same thing. Getting the topic out in the open allows you to become more comfortable with the whole thing.
Most women feel pain during intercourse the first few times because they aren’t used to having an object penetrating them. This can be reduced dramatically through fingering. Whether she fingers herself or you finger her, stretching out her vaginal opening will definitely improve the experience.
Stop when ever either of you wants, whether you haven’t started, are starting, or are well under way. It may be because you or she are getting cold feet, or something about the situation feels wrong, the reason can be anything.
Excessive dryness of the vagina can be a problem, especially when nervous of the first time experience of intercourse. Although lubricant will not stop all the pain, it will definitely decrease it to some extent. K-Y Jelly is most often recommended, and it can be purchased in our online store.
There are a few positions that are really good for starting out, depending on her concerns. If she wants to be in control, then we suggest having you lay on your back, and she can straddle you Cowgirl style. If she would rather be on the bottom, the missionary position is probably the best way to start.
Read our articles (preferably together) on Her First Time for more tips…