Anxiety about first time having sex
Q. I am getting married for the first time. I have not had experience of sexual intercourse. I am afraid that I may come prematurely in my first sexual encounter. How can I increase the duration of sex to satisfy her the first time?
A. Getting married and experiencing lovemaking for the first time are both really big steps. It’s understandable if your excitement is tinged with nervousness and some performance anxiety. Just remember this one simple point; unrealistic expectations can hinder even the most experienced lover, so avoid its negative effect by not buying into them.
Your opening act in the bedroom won’t be your best; there’s a chance you’ll ejaculate sooner than you’d like and there’s little you can do to control it. Don’t fret, ejaculatory control improves with practice. Besides, she’s probably just as nervous and excited to have sex as you are, so don’t get so swept up in wanting to impress her with your skills while failing to acknowledge how emotionally impacting this experience is for her. Take the pressure off yourself by sharing that you are a little nervous yourself; just don’t make it a big deal.
A sexy way to play it down (should Premature Ejaculation occur) is to ‘confess’ that the build up to this moment was so intense, that once you were inside her beautiful, sexy body, it was too difficult to control your desire. If you’ve done a good job satisfying her with foreplay, she won’t think much of it; in fact, she’ll be flattered that she turns you on so much.
To make the first time really special for your future wife, take the time to explore her body and lavish her with plenty of caresses and kisses. Slowly tease and tantalize her in every which way, and give her the best oral (or hand job) you can muster. If you need guidance in this area, check out His First Time, Her First Time, Foreplay, and Cunnilingus Basics/Advanced.
Whatever you may lack in experience, you can make up for in patience, openness and being attentive to your lover’s body. Because you’ve never been physical with your soon-to-be wife, you can’t know what makes her feel good - and quite frankly, she might not even know; so don’t hesitate to inquire. Hopefully, this advice will start your sexual relationship off on the right foot. Remember: communicate, practice and enjoy!