Q. My question revolves more around the area of fetish I think? Please don't laugh. I dream about this all the time.
Well here goes. I have a thing about ladies who have larger hands in comparison to my own hands; also in comparison to my penis. And I dream a lot about having it squeezed, flattened, pulled and other things by such hands. Have you have ever heard of such a fetish?
A. Getting turned on by hands (and in your case, large female hands) is unusual but not unheard of. Practically anything can serve as a fetish object, but there are some that are more likely to be associated with arousal than others, particularly body parts such as hands, feet or hair. Interestingly, your particular preference has a couple of titles specifically related to it.
A sexual fetish is a form of desire brought about by an object or situation that is not generally viewed as sexual in nature. Partialism is considered a specific form of fetishism where arousal is derived from fantasizing about or being in contact with a body part that is not otherwise considered an Erogenous Zone . Partialism has a significant overlap with the term Morphophilia, which is the focus on one or more parts of a sexual partner's body. The features of a Paraphilia (sexual fetish), according to the fourth edition of the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual is, "intense sexually arousing fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors ... that occur over a period of at least 6 months" involving, for example, non-human objects or non-consensual partners. There is, however, controversy as to whether or not any of the aforementioned ought to be classified as disorders – or just different aspects of normal behaviour.
Don't assume that you are abnormal just because what turns you on isn't generally accepted in society. Fantasies and activities that are considered healthy expressions of sexuality vary according to the culture that you live in. Moreover, history clearly demonstrates that most of what was considered unconventional in the past has evolved to become an acceptable form of 'non-deviant' sexual behavior today. For example, Anal Sex and Oral Sex were once considered mental disorders, or at least signs of mental disorders, and in some societies they were deemed illegal activities. In the same vein, sexual conditions that were once considered normal in the past are now classified as disorders, e.g. female orgasmic disorder.
There is nothing wrong with having a fetish. As with most aspects of life, the key is to maintain balance. The following questions will reveal how much impact your hand fetish has on your sex life (and perhaps your non-sexual life):
- Do you have to fantasize about women's hands to get aroused or climax?
- Does your hand fetish interfere with your sex life?
- Is this fetish an intermittent one, or have you always had this inclination?
- Does it take up much of your time and attention?
- Does it interfere with your relationships, or create a heavy reliance on Masturbation?
- Does the thought of hands replace your need for a sexual partner?
- Do you feel distressed about having these sexual preferences?
If these questions have raised any concerns, speak to a qualified professional such as a psychologist or a Sex Therapist. They may be able to help identify unresolved issues or past events that may be causing your fetish to overwhelm your sexuality. Otherwise – simply enjoy what ‘floats your boat’, and don’t worry about whether it does the same for everyone else.