Getting Her to have Dirty Sex

Q. I really want to start experimenting with my girlfriend in the bedroom. Nothing too crazy, maybe some rough stuff, anal play, or her getting into some really sexy outfits. She’s a bit on the shy side when it comes to sex so I don’t know how to get her into it. Tips?

A. Pretty much every woman has a really naughty side, so if you ever want a shot at kinky sex with your girlfriend, it’s your job to help bring it out. Her inner freak can be a bit fickle, partly because she doesn’t know if you can handle it or partly because she hasn’t quite figured it out herself - but regardless of the reason, if it hasn’t surfaced already, it’ll need a bit of coaxing.

Even though you’ve probably imagined all the kinky things you could do to each other hundreds of times before, you can’t expect her to jump into it full force without some demonstrated effort on your part. If you’ve never gone to the dark side together, then it’s up to you to open yourself up. Start by sharing some of your fantasies, just make them girlfriend-friendly, and work you way up to it by (perhaps): Role Playing, Talking Dirty, Choosing a Sex Toy, or Mutual Masturbation as you watch some porn.

Ease into it, together. When you’re coming up with ideas for fun, don’t put too much pressure on her to do any one kinky act. The key to experimentation is that you explore mutually agreed upon areas of sexuality, and if you show enthusiasm and appreciation for things she is open to trying, she’ll be more apt to push her own boundaries as she gains more experience. And at all costs, don’t go around telling her how dirty you’ve gotten with past girlfriends; you’ll only make her feel self-conscious - and the only person you’ll end up handcuffing to the bedpost is yourself.

It takes some guts to share one’s more ‘colorful’ sexual preferences, and even more to actually act upon them, but it also requires that they feel comfortable with their partner. If she even suspects that that you’re the type to judge or poke fun at her, you can kiss your hopes of getting dirty goodbye. If you want her to be able let go of all her inhibitions, you need to show that you’re the perfect person to do that with; be open-minded, show maturity, and respect her - that goes for in and out of the bedroom.

so true

yes i think everything your saying is so true,you must make her feel comfortable with you.me and my new partner is trying new things in the bed. i never thought i would enjoy it,but he works with me and i love it,sometime he has to say baby slow down. when u get a mature man,and you start to feel more comfortable in your own skin it helps,then you will be beggin for more.

I totally agree with the

I totally agree with the last comment. Sex, especially the kinky stuff, is soo different with every person that you're with. With some guys, you can totally freaky, but with others, it just doesn't happen as naturally. It boils down to feeling comfortable with who he is as a boyfriend, and how he makes you feel as his sexual partner.

Dirty Sex

I'm older and have a wife of almost 30 years. Our sex keeps getting better and better. They key is communication. If I want something I talk to her about it. Usually, she gives me whatever I want. She may ask questions or talk about my desires so she can be sure to pleasure me. The conversation is open and honest. I am not embarrassed to ask or tell her anything. We only recently started experimenting with anal sex. She is not interested in receiving, at least right now, but is more than happy to stimulate me and use anal toys on me at different times. She is happy to do almost everything. Beyond communication the key is to think of your partner's pleasure first. If the woman orgasms first the pleasure has just begun for the man.

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