There are a number of factors that can impact one’s experience of having sex for the first time, and if you’re fumbling with the process - or are distracted for lack of knowing what the heck you’re doing - it’s more difficult to focus on making each other feel good! By eliminating the common issues that normally take away from your first time, both of you are guaranteed to have more fun and enjoy the moment!
Here are 7 carefully selected sex positions that will help pave the way for a great first time and the many more to follow (click on the position name to see our unique 3D Animation):
- How not to ‘blow your load’ too quickly - Deck Chair
- Easing her into penetration - Cowgirl
- Keeping your pecker in place - Missionary
- How to make your penis feel bigger - Asian Cowgirl (Reverse)
- When she’s too dry - Butterfly
- When he/she is nervous - Spoons
- When one (or both) of you can’t come - Doggy Style
A common problem is Premature Ejaculation, especially during one’s first few sexual encounters. There are great techniques described in our article Lasting Longer that explain various ways to delay ejaculation, and while you’re at it get comfortable with this popular sex position.
As long as you’re careful not to go too deep, Deck Chair provides plenty of control for the male partner - which is essential for starting and stopping - and allows for lots of intimacy (e.g. eye contact, kissing, and full body contact).
It is relatively common for positions that maximize deep penetration in the vagina (such as Deep Impact) to be painful for a woman - especially when it’s her first time. So, it’s important to steer clear of deep entry in order to make things as comfortable and enjoyable as possible. A great way to do so is to give her the reins in a sex-position such as Cowgirl. From this pose, she can control speed and depth in order to find a happy medium. Also, try to contain your excitement and keep your strokes slow and shallow - which might be easier said than done when it’s your first time too!
When it comes to penetration, first timers often experience ‘technical difficulties’ such as losing your erection because of nervousness and/or awkwardness, or experiencing the penis slipping out of the vagina. These first-time fumbles can cause frustration and discouragement, but regardless of sexual experience, it can also happen when having sex with a new partner.
The solution is to focus on a sex position like Missionary. It maximizes accessibility, makes it easy to work the appropriate angles, and provides good control over depth of thrusting. And because the pose isn’t too physically demanding, it allows you to maintain focus.
Any man would enjoy knowing that his manhood gives his sexual partner a sense of being pleasantly filled up. Even though you might not a Goliath below the belt, every inch counts toward her pleasure, and there are many ways to make each inch go the extra mile.
Our selection of Asian Cowgirl – Reverse for making your penis feel bigger was chosen because it affords the person on top the complete control to, well, do whatever they want - be it deep and vigorous penetration, or slow and sensual movements. This translates to really feeling the penetrating partner’s erection. For more ideas on maximizing the impact of your erection, check out Positions for a Smaller Penis.
Sometimes the discomfort associated with her first time has a lot to do with Vaginal Dryness - and when she’s nervous about losing her virginity, it can understandably inhibit her ability to relax, get aroused, and subsequently become wet.
Manual clitoral stimulation is a sex activity that many women enjoy, and it’s definitely a way to get her ready and willing. Instead of putting all the attention on popping her cherry, give her sweet spot the loving it needs to relax and let go. And if you feel inclined to get down on all fours and use your mouth instead, the results will surely not disappoint. Butterfly allows opportunities for all of the above. And for good measure, keep a water-based Lubricant on hand when she needs an extra dab of wetness.
When first time jitters get in the way the joy in sex diminishes, so if you find that nerves start to get the best of you, that’s the time to try a sex position that simple and intimate. Spoons is an excellent way to ease into first time sex. You simply wrap yourselves around each other and relish in the moment. With all that skin-to-skin contact, plus the comfort of being in each other’s arms, you’ve got a winning combination.
Intercourse is merely one way to achieve good sex, and just because one (or both) of you is having difficulty achieving orgasm doesn’t mean that it was all for nothing. It’s perfectly normal to experience difficultly reaching orgasm on the first go-around, so if you find yourself in that situation try this position.
The pose is highly stimulating for both partners and a gratifyingly deep sensation to boot, but if it’s your partner’s First Time make sure to enter her slowly. Another advantage of rear entry is that the penetrating partner can easily reach around to stimulate her clitoris. If orgasm still continues to elude either of you, just focus on enjoying the pleasurable sensations afforded in this position, and give it another try the next time.
Although our Top 7 list is great for first time sex, any sex position can be awesome if you take your time and relieve the pressure by just focusing on having fun. Also, make your first time - and every time - an opportunity to practice safer sex principles by wearing a condom and exercising good decisions about Birth Control.